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I am willing to risk her getting visitation of the girls because honestly I don't think she would try to get it.  Also, I view the boys the same as my biological kids, thus I would do about anything to be with them.
  All the same, you make a great point that she can ignore the order and drag this out until they are grown and making their own decisions.  So far she has  lied to me 3 times to keep the boys away - the latest being this weekend.  So another weekend without the boys.  And, she has plans for them next weekend so there will not be a visit then either.  I recognize that my best chance for them is to hope and have a relationship when they are adults.  I just fear for the damage she will do to them between now and then as a result of her borderline personality disorder.
I appreciate the feedback.  Nice to know people care about others....

  Greetings.  I am new to this site and looking for some advice.  My wife walked out last month.  She had an affair through most of 2007 and came clean last March.  She gave me three months to get over it and then left.  She said she will not be back.  She took "our" two sons (my step sons) with us and left my girls with me.
  Since she left she has little to do with the girls (she was their mother for almost 7 years).  She does not want me to have any rights to the boys except when she is willing to let me see them.  No father role though.  I am the only father they have ever known (they are 14 and 13).
  Through counseling and research I have learned that my wife has Borderline Personality Disorder.  Thus I know she is unlikely to ever come around or be rational.  I want to be a father to my boys.  I am seeking advice regarding getting custody (which is unlikely) or at least favorable visitation rights.
  I appreciate any help.