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I agree.  Unfortunely or fortunately (depending on how you're looking at it...lol) my husband isn't so "hip" on pot and it's lingering smells (I wasn't there - I can pinpoint it immediately).  It took him a few hours to put together what it was he was smelling.  Next time though, I will make sure he calls...thank you for the heads up :)

We do have a legal leg to stand on though.  After we got advice from our attorney, we did some individual research and in VA when there is no custody order in place, paternity is determined by three methods, 1.  Being on the birth certificate, 2.  DNA testing, and 3.  Acting as the child's father - which my husband has 3 out of 3.  When there is no custody order in place, in VA, we can go get my SD from her grandparents as long as mom isn't there, and they can legally be forced to turn her over.  Or - in reverse - if SD is with her dad, the law can NOT force him to relinquish her to her BM.  Now, once dad is away from my SD, (IE, she's in my care, he's at work) then I can be forced to turn her over. This is information gathered from the courts, local law enforcement as well as well as other attorneys.

 I know that the age of consent is 14 in GA and
>that her wishes will more then likely be upheld. However, I'm
>worried about the children being split up. Has anyone gone
>through this? Will they split up the children?

In Virginia - if there is more than one child, they will many times wait for the YOUNGEST to reach age of consent - so they don't split up the kids.

I am the step-mother - trying to do what I can to support my husband in his custody/visitation issues.  Some background before I go into my tirade ;-)  My step daughter is the result of an affair my husband had with his ex (she was married, he wasn't).  For the first four years of my SD's life, he was bullied into submission by BM and her mother, thus, no custody/visitation/support order is in place between the two of them (this has some pros and cons).  We have been to an attorney who has stated that we have every right that any father would have, married or not.  There are 2 other children from this BM, by a different father (ex husband) who we are good friends with their father and step mother.  Now here are our issues:

1.  SD has started to cry every time we go to take her home.  She has stopped referring to moms house as home - our is "home".

2.  BM is "engaged" to a man we DESPISE.  Drug user/abuser/jealous of the kids, you name it.  We can not catch them doing anything "wrong" in the presence of the children with the exception of...

3.  Watching inappropriate movies/television.  My 5 year old SD was permitted to watch Pans Labryinth, a very violent, graphic rated R movie.

4.  Inappropriate clothing - shorts in the winter, sweats in 100 degree heat.  No coat in 30 degree weather.  

5.  Little to no "grooming" - SD is sent to school on a regular basis with hair not brushed, teeth not brushed, dirty clothes, not bathed, etc.

6.  Child Support not spent on kids.  BM has ZERO in bills - her mom pays EVERYTHING (and I do mean everything).  Yet, no school clothes bought, no coats, old nasty shoes, etc.

7.  My hubby and I have SD in dance - she is not permitted to go on her moms weekends (once a month).  We don't fight this when SD is with her BM, however, most times she is with her non-biological grandparents (BM ex-husbands parents!!).  We would not take SD's time away from BM, however - she's not with BM!!

8.  BM only has her 2 nights a week most cases, Monday and Tuesday.  Wednesdays she's with us.  Thursday's she's either with us or the same grandparents listed in point #7, Friday's she's either with us or the grandparents, saturday - same, sunday - same.  

9.  SD cried the other night - not that she missed her mommy, but that she never gets to see her anymore.  We offered to give up a night each week so that she could stay home with her mommy - her reply?  "No, she'll either take me to mamaw and papaws, grandmas or the boyfriends"

10.  When directly asked where she wanted to live she told BM with her daddy.

11.  BM has gotten into a routine of lying.  When asked directly if the kids were on free lunch at school (we didn't care that she was - just wanted to know so I could stop going to wal-mart at midnight to get lunch stuff!) she said no.  When confronted after it was discovered this was a lie, she stated she did not know how they got on free lunch.  My SD is in kindegarten this year - she HAD to have applied - it couldn't have rolled from last year.

12.  Dropping SD off at BM's and BM reeks of pot.

These are just from the past 4 weeks!  I could go on all day.  Our biggest concern is school.  Right now SD is still excited about school, but older brother and sister have had issues in the past.  Sister failed last year, brother almost failed.  She is starting to learn their "tricks", hiding notes, work, etc...but it's pretty rare.

We just don't know what to do - we're in VA which is still a "mother's state" (are there ANY "father's states?"  please tell us where - we'll move next week...ha!).  It's pretty darn hard, but we just aren't sure which issues to focus on, which to chalk up to tough breaks.  I know there are others out there who have it MUCH worse than we do and I am grateful that we don't have some of those issues - but, she's messin' with my baby girls head and I'm FURIOUS.