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Messages - Nytridr

#1
Visitation Issues / Re: Feeling lost
Nov 02, 2008, 12:54:34 PM
You know I came across this site looking for advise and seeing if anyone else may be in the same situation I am in or close, and this is the first post I looked at after posting my own, I seen a couple good answers, even if they are 1 sided and then I seen flames.

this situation very closely resembles my situtation and after the first few post all I see is flames. 

From someone that has gone through this for 14 years so far, let me just say this.  My 14 yr old resents alot of things that happened in the past, when it comes to this.  I wish I could go back and change things, and even she looks back and wish's I would of enforced taking her all weekend on the weekends I was suppose to have her.  So even though some may think it is protecting their children.  It is still better for your child to know the other parent unless there is something go on that may be harmful for the child.

Looking back I wish I could change things and do things way differnt when it comes to my daughter.  So just think of it this way.  Are things happening for your security or for your childs security.  Children need both parents not just one.  A "step parent" is ok but children need to know the other parent and be able to bond with them. 

I still do not know what I am going to do in my situation but I am going to keep looking, and hopfully I can change things around.
#2
Visitation Issues / What can I do?
Nov 02, 2008, 12:33:25 PM
ok this is the first time even looking for advise or help on this.  My daughter is now 14 and this has been going on for an extremely long time and I do not really know what to do.

I am a proud father and I have 3 boys of my own with me and I just started seeing my daughter again this last month.  With her being 14 now she is seeing though all the crap that is and has been said by her grandparents and her mom.  So with this said let me start at the beginning.

When she was younger I would always try to get her for the entire weekend.   Her grandparents would call at night and talk to her and the next thing I know she wants to go home.  This happened OVER and OVER.  about 4 to 5 years ago I started driving semi which took me away from home for 2 weeks at a time.  But sometimes I would not get home till saturday or even sunday, which through a BIG damper on things.  After trying so many times I finally gave up and just stuck to sending her cards and letters and stoped trying to get her when I could.  This lasted about 3 1/2 years.. I stoped driving after I hurt my back and was really miserable for about a year.   

About 2 months ago she found a way to get ahold of me.  (I have always asked her to call or email me when she can)  and since then we have talked litterly every day almost.  I was able to get her over night yesterday and the same thing happened, but this time (which made me so very happy) she told them that she is staying here, even after them trying to convicer her to go home.  She put her foot down and stuck to her guns.  (I was extreamly happy at that moment) 

I am not sure if I did the right thing in the past by letting her decide or not.  I feel in a way I was in the wrong, but nothing I can do about it now. 

I do not know hardly anything about the law concerning this, and I do not know where to start, and I do NOT have the money to hire a laywer to get this figured out.   With me now disabled I am always home and do not work. 

As I said she lives with her grandparents, they have .. (I do not remamber what it is called) guarden of (something) .. they went and got it from the court.  That way they can provide for my daughter and her sister. 

I believe my visitation still stands even with them having that but I do not know.  I don't know if I even have any rights at all.  And if I do still have my visitation rights, I do not even know how to go about enforcing them.

The reason her grandparents went for it is that my daughters mother was/is incapable of taking care of her and her sister, and at the time it was the only way to get them out of her mothers hands. 

So what can I do and what rights do I have?

Nyt