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Thank you for your reply.  I do have a copy of the order, and it is very vaguely worded with no dates or time lines as to how and when this change of custody is to take place. Nothing on who pays for him to get out here or anything specific.  I find it very confusing how they could do this in this manner and without my participation. Prior to this there was no order in place at all. We had sent different versions back and forth but there was nothing signed off on by the court. I should mention that this judge seems to really dislike me and does have a bias against me, I asked my attorney several times if we should or could request a change of judge and he told me it was not possible...

I really don't know where to go from here. If he really was willling to come out here it would be a different story we would find a way to make it work, but he doesn't and I don't feel that it would be in his best interest to force him. I also wish there was a way to force his mother to get him the counseling he needs.

Thank you for your reply, I do understand where you are coming from .Until Oct 23 rd there was no custody agreement and he had changed his mind on where is wanted to live twice. Now he is not willing to move here again, and his mother is not willing to get him the help he needs and I have no way to force her to. The custody that was orderd Oct 23 without my knowledge or consent gives us both joint legal and joint physical custody of the kids but states that he is to live with me during the school year but doesn't specify which school year or give a time frame for him being moved out here, doesn't say who will pay for him to get out. I do want to help this kid but again he is a big kid and I cannot force him to come here and stay here if he is against it. He will, I am afraid run away he wants to be there and the biggest problem in my eyes is why did she do this ? What is behind her trying to do this? Now she has stated that she will keep him but should I try to get written statement or file an custody change order?

I had all kinds of interesting things happen with this Judge? Anyone else have him make odd rulings?

Also anyone els ehave a bad experiance with a flat fee lawyer in Mankato,MN?? I think there is only one.

Martyj

Hello, I have another posting explaining the whole situation under fathers issues but thought I'd get one here to . Long story short my adopted son lived with me for 18 months while my ex and I were going thorugh the divorce, before it was finalized he went for a visit(we had moved from MN to Wa by then, with full permission) to his grandparent then his mom..after two days there he decides to live there from now on and does some snaky things to get his way on it. Anyway I actually thought it would be good for him since he had had so little contact with his mom while he lived with me(her choice not his) I thought maybe they would work through their issues..they aren't..but anyway with out consulting me(or it turns out the kid either) My ex goes into court and tells the judge that we had discussed it and we were in agreement that the bot would move back in with me right away. She starts calling me before I even knew anything about all this and demanding a plane ticket for him, I finally after about a week because he had been allowed to stay at friends until then, talk to my son..he doesn't want to move out here again, in fact says he may run away if we try to make him, he knew nothing of his mom's intention to throw him out, he thought all was well there. I don't know what her motivation is here but the poor kid was already abondoned by her once and had issues because of it. Now he isn't willing and frankly I don't feel its in his best interests to move here again, he will just make us all miserable if he doesn't want to be here. His mom also claim he has become violent in fights with her and that presents a problem with him moving here without some counseling first, I live with my fiance and her young daughter, in fact she would be the one dealing with him the most beacuse of our works scheduales...
So what do I do now, my attny I had to fire after this ordeal, he didn't even call and tell me what he had agreed to on my behalf without consulting me about any of this. What kind of legal trouble can I get in if I don't move him now? The court papers are incredibly vague no time line is given, many issues were not addressed, in my opinion very poorly written.
But again what now. He is a big almost 16 year old kid, if he doens't want to get on a plane I don't see anyway of forcing him without violence.
Any thoughts or swdvice would be appreicated..at my wits end

Martyj

This is the first time I have tried posting anything on a message board but I am not sure where else to turn, I have several ongoing issues but I am going to focus on the main one. I had a very bad attny(flat fee ) represent me in Blue Earth County , MN in a divorce with kids involved I have one daughter and one adopted son(he was hers from a prior guy) Here's the shortest way to explain this .When she left me she took the kids...within a month she had kicked the boy out , I'll call him P and P moved back in with me, at the time I thought he had asked to move back..didn't know she was making him. Anyway he lived with me for 18 months with Very limited contact with his mom(her choice not his).
I eventually moved to Wa to pursue a relationship with my now fiance. He willingly and with full permission moved with me. Then after school was out he wanted to go visit his grandparents in MN for a few weeks..ok great, once there he called and asked if he could go see his mom, of course I said, well within two days she was calling me to tell me that he wanted to live there with her from now on. Again I said ok, I thought here was a great chance for them to work out their issues(he felt abondoned by her when she left and was depressed and cutting)He is 15 almost 16 so I feel his opinion on where he wants to live should be taken into consideration.
All was well until the last court date where we were to finally after more than a year finalize this mess. I informed my crappy attny well before the hearing that I wouldn't be able to financially make it ( I would actually have lost my job) The judge had previously said I could appear by phone because of an earlier hearing that I flew back for and she didn't show up at. Nothing was said or done beccause she wasn't there.
Ok so I am waiting for a call telling me what happened, nothing before court from my attny, nothing during court from anyone, nothing after court..nothing the next bussiness day??? Finally I get through to my attny and ask him whats going on were you going to call me? what happened? He actually hung up on me after telling me no he didn't plan to call me. So I called the court, and had the court reporter read me what the result was, my ex went into court and told the judge that we had discussed this and were in agreement that P would move back here to live with me right away ect. Nobody ever dicussed this with me, due to some things that have come to light over the last few months no he can't just move back here without duing some work there first, like counseling with his mom for starts so I don't have to deal with his abondnment isssues which would now be worse!!
Then I talk to my son and find out that no, he doesn't want to move back here he thinks all is well with him and mom and knew nothing about her trying to legally kick him out. So she calls non stop saying to buy him a ticket now he has to get out etc..I suggest counseling for them she says hell no and more...finally after taking the extreme measure of talking to P at school, working through his counselor there, filling them all in. He says he will not move back he will run away if we make him, doesn't want to leave MN and his friends again, plus the big bonus of mom has no rules and we do out here. So his mom finally says in a text that she is keeping him and that I am and abusing deadbeat father etc.... so all is well until she gets mad at him again and starts with the buy him a ticket thing again.

How do I handle this? What kind of legal throuble can I get into if he stays in Mn with her instead of moving out here? By the way I did call the court and have them enter into the record that I was not in agreement with what wa sdecided as far as custody and did fire my attny the same day he hung up on me.
Sorry this was so long that was the sortest version I could do! Any advice would be helpful.

Martyj