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I wasn't refusing to allow him visits. We weren't able to agree on any visits, so nothing would get set, and so he wouldn't get to see them as often. Yes, it came down on me, even though he wasn't willing to comprimise.

I also feel that the justice system has a lot to do with money. He makes 3 times as much as me easy. He also lives with his parents and has no bills.

My attorney wants to wait until we have a good paper trail built up via emails to take to court of his denials.

This last week, I found a non-profit program to help me out with the visits. We are each billed our half, and they make all the contacts and attempts with him. So, if he refuses, they can show it to the judge on their half too. I have put in my dates, and now I just have to wait and see what he says.

It's a hard game of waiting. It's my children that I am missing something about everyday. The other day they were spelling words to me on the phone. It made me almost cry. It's hard, and I just try to keep my chin up.

I have a set of twins that are 5. I lost custody of them two years ago to my ex, for not completely following my court order for visitation. (I didn't understand it all)

In July the judge ordered that I have four, four hour weekend supervised visits, One overnight unsupervised visit up there, and then come to my home for two weeks. I am responsible for half of the supervisor fees

They all live in another state, and my income isn't the best. I have attempted three times to do my first supervised visit, only to be denied by their father. I have to give 14 days notice, and I have always done more notice, and made it so I can afford everything. He keeps telling me those dates won't work for him. It cleary states in the order that he is to be flexible.

I dont know what to do anymore. I haven't seen them in 9 months, and its causing me great depression. I was finally able to afford an attorney, but she keeps telling me that we just need to keep letting him screw up, and after enough times, we will take it back to court. How many is enough?!

Here's the worst part. He still lives with his mom, and she is the one that takes care of him and the children. He has made it clear via myspace and a letter to the judge when they were born that he didnt want them. His mom takes them to school, helps them, takes them to appointments, and all that stuff. She even buys everything they need and want. I dont get why the judge doesnt see all this, everybody else does.

Anyways, anybody have any suggestions about any of this for me. I think it will help to talk to mom's in similar situations, and get ideas. Im going nuts, and have hit a stage of severe depression.