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You can ask the court for anything you want, however I would caution against it... Judges tend to have a bit of an "elitest" attitude and they tend to frown upon being told how to do thier jobs... even if you're right... My personal experience, judges have a tough time keeping thier own egos in check, especially when you do something like you're suggesting, even though you may be 100% justified in what you're asking for.

Bottom line here, Judges are usually experienced, and can manage to see through the BS and come to the same conclusions that you have, present the FACTS and the EVIDENCE and leave your personal feelings at the door, and you will get exactly what you're looking for...

I totally understand how you *Feel* when you're with your daughter, but the real question is what is in your daughter's best interests?

I've been on both sides of the coin, I have two children, my daughter is three, and her mom suffered from terrible post-partum, leaving me as the primary caregiver, when we split up, I made a bid for custody, and was successful.

I also have a son, who is turning a year next month, I've also split from his mom, however, I made no play for custody of him, not because I don't love being with him, or because I'm not capable of caring for him, the reality is, for him, his mom takes superb care of him, and it's not in his best interests to live with me... Your best option, based on what you've said here, combined with my road-tested experience is to learn to work in a co-operative manner with your daughter's mom, this will allow for the best environment for your child, while still providing you with what you need in that relationship as well.

Bottom line is, you need to put your personal feelings aside and figure out what is in your daughter's best interests.

Well, I'm not in much of a position to speak to your legal situation, as I'm Canadian, and am not familiar at all with the US legal system. However in some brief reading, child support is based on income in the US just as it is in Canada. My advice, get a lawyer, or at least show up in court with your financials, and make a case for yourself. The facts speak for themselves.

If you're trying to get out of paying back-dated child support, good luck on that, it would be based on your previous years income, not your current income, and if you're in arrears from a year where you made more money, tough luck.

I personally don't agree with the outlandish amounts one must pay in child support, I think the situation needs to be looked at from a much more detailed angle, however, in Canadian law, one size fits all, a childs age, custodial parent's financial situation, and all sorts of other things aren't even considered. It's based entirely on the non-custodial parent's income... I think the laws need to change, however with that being said, it doesn't release one from PAYING child support, you have a moral and legal obligation to care for your children financially, even if you aren't the primary care-giver. And for that reason, even though I know my child support payments are too high (And don't even go to the care of my child) I still pay, on time, every time.

If you're looking for sympathy, you aren't going to find it here, my friend. pay up, like the rest of us. Get employed, if you aren't making any money as a contractor, it's time to change jobs. Do something to better yourself, set an example for your children, if you legally owe that money, you will be doing yourself a favour by simply making arrangements to pay it. Fighting this one in the legal system is a loosing battle.

Document, Document, Document.
Document everything. Every conversation, every threat, every innuendo, every change in behavior of the children. Bring report cards, bring every single piece of evidence that shows the children are thriving with you.
Get sworn affidavits from anyone with first hand knowledge of her behaviour, get statements from teachers, daycare providers, doctors, dentists, everyone...
In court, information is power, evidence is power. Keep it factual, and free from extreme emotion. Make it clear that what you want is in the best interests of the children.

The only way to ensure the best results is to have the best evidence, rest easy in the fact that the mother likely won't do the legwork to prove that the children belong with her.

I have to agree, I have a 3 year old daughter, and my GF and I have a son together, 9 months old... it all happened far to fast, you can't blend a family overnight, or in a month, or a year, or ever maybe... end result, my daughter and I have moved out, just over 6 weeks ago, my relationship with my GF is healing, and things are going slow, steady, and it's better for all four of us... take your time, don't rush... I don't know if a family can ever be "blended" or not... but I do know it takes a long long time.