Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - mommyonhawaii

#1
DH was paying $550, his ex went by a very old W2 to get this amount.  At that time in 2006 it was half his check, it was doable because I worked full time and was pregnant with our son.  SD lives out of state, we pay for her transportation, pay CS while she visits and for her needs and care while she's with us.  Oh, our state is Hawaii, BM is in California and that's the court CS goes through.  SD visits us about 10% of the time since it costs so much to get her.  SD has a $6000 private school tuiton, religious school.  About another $5000 in dance classes.  She is 8 years old.  BM makes about $90, 000 a year, DH makes about $40, 000.  I don't work, we are common law.  And now we have 3 boys under 20 months.  The 9 month old twins are preemies, and it looks like one's going to need some therapy because of developmental delays.

So our situation is this.  DH had CS reviewed, and it was increased to $625.  I am currently in Washington as DH lost his job in Utah and went back to Hawaii to his old job.  He was going to save up and bring our three sons and myself there after a few months.  Then we were going to be officially married and get SD in the summer.  Well what with DH paying the van payment and the outlandish CS, it looks like he'll be left with just enough money to have a Top Ramen feast everyday.  He'll never be able to see SD or to get us.  It is almost unfeasible for me to work, as most of my check would go to childcare, which is why I SAH mom to the boys.

We thought the amount before was very unfair, as BM makes much more than he does.  We were counting on it being lowered, but how could it be raised?  We are devasted, and he is sick to his stomach over this.  BM went to Vegas 4 times last year, Hawaii twice, and visiting family in other states a couple other times.  Each time required plane travel, and other travel expenses.  SD has commented to us that we should be sending her mommy and her money because they only have a couple thousand in the bank, when we have nothing and live paycheck to paycheck.  We can't hardly afford clothes for the babies, luckily realitves buy for them or I get hand me downs.  DH will send along extra money for dance recital dresses that are worn once at $50 bucks each in addition to CS.

We don't think BM is using the money soley for SD, but for frivilous things.  What can we do?  Because of some issues, DH couldn't make his court appearance or arrange for the phone interview.  He did call and I'm not sure if they went ahead with it anyways.  The papers said he needed to be there to contest the other parent's statement, and maybe they took her statement and increased it?  I have no doubt she pushed for as much as she could get, stating the outrageous costs for SD's school and activiites.  It is just unfair, how can a guy be expected to live on what's left over?  Even if he was by himself?  Let alone support a family?