Hello All,
I know this first post will be long. Sorry. My husband and I have been married for five years and he has a daughter that is now 11. I have known her since she was 5. Her mom is very vindictive and uses her a pawn. For the last three trips she has come to us she cries and screams and hollers everytime she has to go back with her mom. She had an anxiety attack last summer and this spring break she was overtly violent to her mom. She told her she didn't wanna live with her and everytime the bio mom would touch her she would scream "Don't touch me!". It was heart wrenching. She asked three years ago if she could call me Mom and I explained to her that she should call me whatever she feels comfortable with. She should do what makes her happy and not worry about me or mom or dad. I just wanted her to understand that she doesn't need to call me a certain name in order for me to love her. She insisted on calling me Mom.
After the spring break trip this year we are very concerned about her well-being. She is getting progressively worse and not better. Each visit is more violent and she is becoming more angry. Her mother refuses to even discuss her coming to live with us - We even offered to pay child support for one year and she still refuses. She said that her daughter is fine and she will deal with her emotional issues. We found three child therapist for her to see and she refused to take her to any. We are at the point where we are forced to file for custody. SD has begged us to please go see a judge and that she will tell them she doesn't wanna live with mom. It is soooo sad.
My greatest concern is that she lives in MD and the courts do not let children choose their living arrangement but will take their inputs into consideration. They are also not known to be gender neutral. We only want SD to live where she is truly happy whether that be at her mom's or with us.
Advice?
I know this first post will be long. Sorry. My husband and I have been married for five years and he has a daughter that is now 11. I have known her since she was 5. Her mom is very vindictive and uses her a pawn. For the last three trips she has come to us she cries and screams and hollers everytime she has to go back with her mom. She had an anxiety attack last summer and this spring break she was overtly violent to her mom. She told her she didn't wanna live with her and everytime the bio mom would touch her she would scream "Don't touch me!". It was heart wrenching. She asked three years ago if she could call me Mom and I explained to her that she should call me whatever she feels comfortable with. She should do what makes her happy and not worry about me or mom or dad. I just wanted her to understand that she doesn't need to call me a certain name in order for me to love her. She insisted on calling me Mom.
After the spring break trip this year we are very concerned about her well-being. She is getting progressively worse and not better. Each visit is more violent and she is becoming more angry. Her mother refuses to even discuss her coming to live with us - We even offered to pay child support for one year and she still refuses. She said that her daughter is fine and she will deal with her emotional issues. We found three child therapist for her to see and she refused to take her to any. We are at the point where we are forced to file for custody. SD has begged us to please go see a judge and that she will tell them she doesn't wanna live with mom. It is soooo sad.
My greatest concern is that she lives in MD and the courts do not let children choose their living arrangement but will take their inputs into consideration. They are also not known to be gender neutral. We only want SD to live where she is truly happy whether that be at her mom's or with us.
Advice?