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Just to update, the change of venue hearing went well.  BM showed up, but didn't read the papers (it was on the same page as date and time!), so was unaware it was a hearing to change venue.

Venue was changed as a matter of course - since stepson has been living with us in our county for 18 months.

She tried to submit some crumpled up papers with chicken scratch.  The judge had to tell her that he could not accept them and they had to be submitted to my fiance first so he could have a chance to respond.

Soon after the hearing, she called my fiance wanting to make a deal with him - every other weekend visitation supervised by her mom.  We pay for drug testing.  I told my fiance to document her phone call, since this shows she can't actually believe that her son is being abused.

We're not opposed to visitation, we just want it to be safe, so it looks like we'll be able to settle this in mediation.

Another thing - she stipulated "for the next six months" on that deal.  She believes that in six months, when stepson turns 12, he is allowed to choose where he wants to live.  ?!?!?

*sigh*  This whole thing is ridiculous, and now we're $700 in the hole for court fees.  Fiance is all for letting her think what she will, but I'm wondering if we should just tell her - it is making our home life difficult (stepson keeps saying he is moving out when he gets in trouble, or that he is going to use us grounding him as "evidence") and I really don't want to pay more court fees if she decides to file again in six months.

I just want this to be over.

Thanks for the advice, janM and Ref.  janM, I would never even dream of saying anything like that in court, but I appreciate you pointing it out.  I'm always very aware of that line and not crossing it.  Although I toe the line at home because I think that my stepson deserves two parents (and the financial, emotional, and moral support that goes along with that), I would never presume to dictate anything, especially in a court of law!  As an introvert, I prefer to work behind the scenes anyways.

I have full confidence in my fiance's abilities to articulate himself in court and to not bash the bio-mom.  He has never said a bad word about the bio-mom in front of my stepson and discourages others from doing so as well.

The hearing for the change of venue is coming up in a couple of weeks.  We're crossing our fingers that it gets moved to our county.

Right now we are encountering some difficulties because both BM and her sister have been encouraging my stepson to run away from home and to say he is being abused.  So far, CPS, the counselor, the teacher, and the police have seen straight through this, but it is really taking a toll on our home life.  We are documenting all of this.

Ref, we've obtained copies of the bio-mom's criminal cases.  Thank you for suggesting this!  My future father in law has kept in contact with the CPS caseworker who worked with bio-mom and removed the children from her care.  We also have an admission from the bio-mom that she relapsed recently and conceived her most recent child while on drugs.

Haven't heard any update on the CASA, but I hope we get one.  I definitely think it would backfire.

She's in arrears to my fiance for child support for the couple months before she got it reduced to $0.  Would this be helpful to bring to court?  She also owes over $10K to the state for child care.  Do you think this is relevant at all?

Thanks so much for your advice, Ref.  I've written everything down.  I'll check on those public records ASAP.

I'd love to counter-sue for child support, but unfortunately she is on financial aid right now, and the court told us that this is an automatic ruling for $0.  She has an arrears balance of a couple hundred from before she went on financial aid, but I don't know that she's obligated to pay that immediately since she doesn't have a job and is getting $$ from the government.

In his counter-filing, fiance wants to stipulate that she pay for the supervised visitation and the drug-testing.  I'm wondering if this would make him look too disagreeable?  Should we offer to pay for some of it?  Honestly, I feel the less SS sees of her, the better off he is.  On the other hand, we DO want him to be happy, and if seeing her really makes him happy, well...what're you gonna do?

If she's going to talk to him on the phone, I'd really like to stipulate some sort of regular schedule - can you do that?  She calls extremely sporadically, with no contact stretching for months at a time.  SS is always running to get the phone and 99.9% of the time it's just a telemarketer.  I feel the inconsistency is emotionally damaging.

Thank you again!  I really really appreciate it.

I'm a stepmom to an 11-year-old boy.  His grandpa took care of him while his dad went to school, and they've only now gotten around to releasing that guardianship.

So my fiance (getting married in two months) went up to attend the court hearing releasing guardianship.  Bio-mom served fiance with papers for physical custody immediately after. 

How worried should I be?  Stepson has been living with us full-time for1.5 years.  We live in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood with a good school, chosen specifically to provide a good life for him.  Bio-mom lives with her mom in a shack of house, has no job, has been on and off  of drugs, has been incarcerated, and pays NO CS.  She quit her job, got on financial aid, and had CS reduced to $0 immediately after it was filed. She stopped calling stepson once her CS was reduced to $0.  She is allowed supervised visitation with drug testing, but hasn't exercised it.  She doesn't have a driver's license.  She has no custody of any of her other children except the one she just birthed.  She goes through men like I go through socks AND introduces them to her kids.  Stepson was taken away from her when he was four.

Fiance thinks she is asking for a pony so she can get a dog.  He's going to press for the same - supervised visitation with drug testing.

What should we be documenting?

I've been looking through the papers she filed, and it's pretty sad.  She's misspelled her own son's name, has the dates incorrect for when he came to live with us (off by over a year), and has our address incorrect.

Isn't she supposed to list a reason for why stepson should live with her?  Or is this not necessary after a release of guardianship?

We're requesting the venue be changed to our county, considering how long he has lived with us.  She doesn't have a license or a car, so I'm wondering if she will still pursue this if we get the switch.

My fiance is considering bypassing the mediation and going straight to court.  He is not happy with her.

She's requesting a CASA worker, and I'm baffled as to how this would help her.  Stepson DOES want to go live with her (because she has no rules), but no one else in his life knows who she is!  She also has a record with CPS...

Suggestions?