Just wanted to say thanks for responding to my post...I appreciate your responses and advice. It is really helpful to have fresh perspectives.
- Welcome to SPARC Forums.
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
Pages1
#2
Custody Issues / Re: Is the court system gender blind?
May 19, 2009, 05:02:26 PM
What's interesting is that we live 2 miles apart. We live in an established neighborhood with kids that my stepson has the chance to play with when he visits. She just moved out of an apartment into a rental...but if trend continues..she will move again.
In regards to school, she doesn't share information with us. Because she gets him during the week, she gets the newsletters, notices, etc. We email his teacher weekly to make sure we get information from the school. I hope that next year's teacher is as cooperative to our situation. She has taken him tardy to school a few times.
I don't think that she would intentionally do anything to hurt him...but I feel that she makes very poor choices. He visits with us and tells us that she won't study with him. He said that at one point he was going to some bar with her and her ex boyfriend and riding in the front of his "lowrider" without a seatbelt. At one house she was living at, he was sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. When he visits us, she doesn't send any clothes for the weekend.
This past Christmas she didn't get him any gifts.
As far as I am concerned, she seems very insecure about me being apart of my stepsons life. He has come home to us saying that his mom said that he cannot kiss me anymore. And she constantly reminds him that I am not his mother.
I feel she just makes poor choices. Isn't it neglect to introduce man after man into his life? And having them sleep over? Now she is married and pregnant to a man whom she has known for 3 months. Yes, she can now say she is married and stable...but I hardly feel that a marriage based on a bad choice to get pregnant to someone she doesn't know constitutes stability..rather...a result of a bad decision.
Sorry to vent. But we have battled with her for the 5 years I have been with my husband. I am terrified that this will be our lives until he reaches adulthood. I am also terrified for my stepson. I am a product of divorced parents who didn't get along...it isn't easy on a child.
I understand your points that a court wants to see extreme neglect...but isn't it supposed to be "in the best interest of the child"? Sometimes, I just FEEL that it is in the best interest of the mother. My husband is just crushed. I am crushed. We want to have more of a role in my stepsons life. We want to be around.
In regards to school, she doesn't share information with us. Because she gets him during the week, she gets the newsletters, notices, etc. We email his teacher weekly to make sure we get information from the school. I hope that next year's teacher is as cooperative to our situation. She has taken him tardy to school a few times.
I don't think that she would intentionally do anything to hurt him...but I feel that she makes very poor choices. He visits with us and tells us that she won't study with him. He said that at one point he was going to some bar with her and her ex boyfriend and riding in the front of his "lowrider" without a seatbelt. At one house she was living at, he was sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. When he visits us, she doesn't send any clothes for the weekend.
This past Christmas she didn't get him any gifts.
As far as I am concerned, she seems very insecure about me being apart of my stepsons life. He has come home to us saying that his mom said that he cannot kiss me anymore. And she constantly reminds him that I am not his mother.
I feel she just makes poor choices. Isn't it neglect to introduce man after man into his life? And having them sleep over? Now she is married and pregnant to a man whom she has known for 3 months. Yes, she can now say she is married and stable...but I hardly feel that a marriage based on a bad choice to get pregnant to someone she doesn't know constitutes stability..rather...a result of a bad decision.
Sorry to vent. But we have battled with her for the 5 years I have been with my husband. I am terrified that this will be our lives until he reaches adulthood. I am also terrified for my stepson. I am a product of divorced parents who didn't get along...it isn't easy on a child.
I understand your points that a court wants to see extreme neglect...but isn't it supposed to be "in the best interest of the child"? Sometimes, I just FEEL that it is in the best interest of the mother. My husband is just crushed. I am crushed. We want to have more of a role in my stepsons life. We want to be around.
#3
Custody Issues / Is the court system gender blind?
May 19, 2009, 02:36:14 PM
My husband and I would like to get custody of my stepson (his 6 year old son). My husband and my stepson's mother were never married and soon after he was born, he settled on joint management conservatorship. He didn't try to get custody because so many told him that in Texas-mothers will always prevail.
My husband and I have been together for nearly 5 years. We met when my stepson was 15 months. We dated for 2 years before we got engaged and we waited another 2 years before we married. Now we have been married for nearly 1 year. We try our best to provide a stable environment for my stepson because we feel children deserve stability and consistency.
In the past 5 years, my stepson's mother has moved him 9 times and has lived with 5 different men. Only 3 of the 9 times did she actually tell us she moved. The other times we have found out on our own. We pay her $750 a month in child support and we cover medical, life insurance, and costs when we have him.
Here is our issue. We feel that she makes bad choices. Recently she got pregnant from a guy whom she only dated less than a month. She then married him the following month and we have found out from my stepson that they have moved to a new home together. None of which she has shared with us.
My husband and I visited with an attorney and we requested that she attend mediation with us in lieu of a costly court battle. She refused. Said that we can take her to court and if we do, she will try to get more child support from us. Our lawyer requires a VERY large retainer, $5000 and an additional $10,000 to be put in trust. We want to proceed so that my stepson can have more stability with us, but we fear going that far in to debt and losing the court battle. The economy has taken a toll on both my job and my husband's and we simply do not have $15,000 in spare cash. We keep hearing that TX is a mother's state and we fear that the system will not be gender blind.
What do we do? We want the best for my stepson....we want to try for him.....but I am scared.
My husband and I have been together for nearly 5 years. We met when my stepson was 15 months. We dated for 2 years before we got engaged and we waited another 2 years before we married. Now we have been married for nearly 1 year. We try our best to provide a stable environment for my stepson because we feel children deserve stability and consistency.
In the past 5 years, my stepson's mother has moved him 9 times and has lived with 5 different men. Only 3 of the 9 times did she actually tell us she moved. The other times we have found out on our own. We pay her $750 a month in child support and we cover medical, life insurance, and costs when we have him.
Here is our issue. We feel that she makes bad choices. Recently she got pregnant from a guy whom she only dated less than a month. She then married him the following month and we have found out from my stepson that they have moved to a new home together. None of which she has shared with us.
My husband and I visited with an attorney and we requested that she attend mediation with us in lieu of a costly court battle. She refused. Said that we can take her to court and if we do, she will try to get more child support from us. Our lawyer requires a VERY large retainer, $5000 and an additional $10,000 to be put in trust. We want to proceed so that my stepson can have more stability with us, but we fear going that far in to debt and losing the court battle. The economy has taken a toll on both my job and my husband's and we simply do not have $15,000 in spare cash. We keep hearing that TX is a mother's state and we fear that the system will not be gender blind.
What do we do? We want the best for my stepson....we want to try for him.....but I am scared.
Pages1