This is my first time here.
I am the NCP. I moved abroad (europe) 3 years ago with my non-American (soon to be) husband and eldest child, Ann (from a previous relationship whom I have full custody of).
My ex and I have 1 child, Sam (he has full custody at this time)
A quick background on why I moved- during the divorce we were given joint custody (with my home being the place of residence). In the divorce agreement it was ordered that Ann would also stay with my ex during his visitation time with Sam, so that the children would not be separated (this was my request). This went on for about 6 months. Then I moved from the suburb where we had lived into the city. At this point my ex refused to take Ann. This put me in a bad spot as I worked evenings and had no other support system, or any one to help with baby sitting. Everything began to fall apart. I lost my job. Then my landlord disappeared and the house I was renting was being foreclosed on. My ex-filed an ER hearing for custody of our child saying I was unable to care for her. I was not notified of the hearing (I had not had contact with my lawyers for over a year and assumed they were no longer representing me. I had moved twice, they did not have any way of contacting me. Hence i did not appear at the hearing and he was given full custody by default). Also, my (soon to be) husband's visa was up and he had to return to his country. Since I was in dire straights and did not see how I could improve my situation there we decided that I and Ann would follow him and get back on our feet.
At the time I left my ex said that once I was stable Sam could come visit. Each time I have jumped over the hurdle he put up he puts up a new one. I just want to have Sam here with us in the Summers and maybe every other Xmas until I finish with my degree and we move back to the states. (our aim for moving back is summer 2011)
I pay child support and during the summers I, and Ann have traveled back to the US to see Sam (we stay for 4 weeks). My ex has no problem with this. We have even taken Sam out of state to visit my family. He has demonstrated that he does not view me as being unable to care for Sam. He makes almost no contact with me or Sam during the visit. Calling maybe, 3 times in 4 weeks.
The issue now is that Sam is now able to fly UAM. I filed a motion with the court to get Sam here 6 weeks in the summer. The court ordered mediation. As I knew he would, my ex refused to come to any sort of agreement. I have offered to pay all expenses. He says he is worried about her flying alone. Something I understand but think Sam needs to, and has the right to, visitation with us. While I can afford to pay for Sam's trip, we simply can not afford to travel to the US and stay in a hotel for 2, 4 or 6 weeks.
What i need help with is tips or stories. I am now going back to court to get this visitation ordered by a judge. Has any one been successful in getting a judge to agree to international visitation UAM? Can you tell me about your case? I will not use a lawyer so please do not bother to suggest that. (i can't afford it and am still in debt 10K to my old lawyers!)
Thanks in advance for any help.
I am the NCP. I moved abroad (europe) 3 years ago with my non-American (soon to be) husband and eldest child, Ann (from a previous relationship whom I have full custody of).
My ex and I have 1 child, Sam (he has full custody at this time)
A quick background on why I moved- during the divorce we were given joint custody (with my home being the place of residence). In the divorce agreement it was ordered that Ann would also stay with my ex during his visitation time with Sam, so that the children would not be separated (this was my request). This went on for about 6 months. Then I moved from the suburb where we had lived into the city. At this point my ex refused to take Ann. This put me in a bad spot as I worked evenings and had no other support system, or any one to help with baby sitting. Everything began to fall apart. I lost my job. Then my landlord disappeared and the house I was renting was being foreclosed on. My ex-filed an ER hearing for custody of our child saying I was unable to care for her. I was not notified of the hearing (I had not had contact with my lawyers for over a year and assumed they were no longer representing me. I had moved twice, they did not have any way of contacting me. Hence i did not appear at the hearing and he was given full custody by default). Also, my (soon to be) husband's visa was up and he had to return to his country. Since I was in dire straights and did not see how I could improve my situation there we decided that I and Ann would follow him and get back on our feet.
At the time I left my ex said that once I was stable Sam could come visit. Each time I have jumped over the hurdle he put up he puts up a new one. I just want to have Sam here with us in the Summers and maybe every other Xmas until I finish with my degree and we move back to the states. (our aim for moving back is summer 2011)
I pay child support and during the summers I, and Ann have traveled back to the US to see Sam (we stay for 4 weeks). My ex has no problem with this. We have even taken Sam out of state to visit my family. He has demonstrated that he does not view me as being unable to care for Sam. He makes almost no contact with me or Sam during the visit. Calling maybe, 3 times in 4 weeks.
The issue now is that Sam is now able to fly UAM. I filed a motion with the court to get Sam here 6 weeks in the summer. The court ordered mediation. As I knew he would, my ex refused to come to any sort of agreement. I have offered to pay all expenses. He says he is worried about her flying alone. Something I understand but think Sam needs to, and has the right to, visitation with us. While I can afford to pay for Sam's trip, we simply can not afford to travel to the US and stay in a hotel for 2, 4 or 6 weeks.
What i need help with is tips or stories. I am now going back to court to get this visitation ordered by a judge. Has any one been successful in getting a judge to agree to international visitation UAM? Can you tell me about your case? I will not use a lawyer so please do not bother to suggest that. (i can't afford it and am still in debt 10K to my old lawyers!)
Thanks in advance for any help.