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Excellent site!  Thanks.

The key is to get this extended time written in the order, then we'll have more leverage.

Thanks!!

DH does not have that clause in his divorce.  Some of the things the court guy told DM were false so we're skeptical about his validity.  He told BM and DH that DH has to have BM's OK to take the girls out of the state on his time.  We know that's not true, but now BM is on her high horse claiming she must know all - even on his court appointed time. 

Sorry for the confusion.  Thanks for all your help! 

Thanks guys.  I like the hotel idea. 

DH is calling a Parenting Coordinator on Monday to work out getting the extra time added to the CO so this won't be an issue next time.  They've both agreed to it but BM wouldn't put it in the CO.  She promised (HA HA) that she would be mature about it and to please trust her and she did go along with it for the July 4th holiday without a hitch.  We knew we'd run into snags eventually but we didn't have a choice.  I guess what's annoys me is that we've taken the girls out of town before and she didn't have a problem.  She's on a power trip knowing she can pull the extra time if we don't comply. 

DH got an email from her late last night.  Now she's saying on weekend time if the girls spend the night at grandparents etc that she must be informed.  She did say she'd do the same, but really - does that make it right?  Just because she offers information does that make it right to require it from us?  I DO understand a parent wanting to be aware of where there kids are, but doesn't DH having legal custody leave that choice to him?  The CO has a clause that BM can call girls between 8-10am on weekends, but she's only used it 3-5 times in two years.      

Thanks for the response.  We didn't tell BM about our plans.  I mentioned to SD that we'd be seeing my family and she must have mentioned it to her mom.  Sadly, we'll have to start keeping things from the kids. 

A twist in this is the CO states DH only has kids the day of Thanksgiving.  But BM agreed in April and again last week to let DH have them from Wed-Sun.  She will only give him the 'extra' time if he gives her the information. 

Another thing, BM called someone in Hennepin Cty, she called him a court representative (his name is Jim Heck or something like that) - I have his number), who agreed with her that DH is required to give her the info and that she has to approve him taking the kids out of the state (DH called him to confirm what he told BM)!  WFT??? 

My DH shares legal custody with his ex - he is NCP.  Beyond the CO they have agreed to extend certain holidays a full weekend (vs just the day).  This year is DH's first Thanksgiving with that agreement.

BM is not disputing DH should have the kids the entire weekend per their agreement, but she found out we're taking the girls to see my family in another state.  She's now telling him she won't allow him to have the extended time unless he gives her the address of my family.  For many reasons I do not want to do this.   

My understanding has always been that if a parent has legal custody they are free to take a child out of state on their parenting time.  Let alone give an address of where they're going.  She has no real need to know the exact location of where we're staying, but she's insisting we give it to her.  DH has always been a responsible parent.

To add to it, BM contact a 'court representative.'  DH contacted the same guy to verify what he said and  told DH that yes, DH has to provide her the information.  This goes against everything I've ever heard about legal custody.  The court guy also told BM (and DH) that since I'm married to DH now, I am now 'married' to her and my information is up for grabs.

I know this could be easily settled by giving her the information, and we'll probably do that - but the point of my post is to clairfy the rights of the NCP when he/she shares legal custody.  I'd like to know what our rights are for future issues. 

Thanks.   

 

 

Every year we go through this crap with my DH's ex.  She gets all hot and bothered because we want to take the kids to see my family (in IL).  They share legal and we know we have every right to take them where ever we want during his time.  She disagrees.  She says if we don't give her detailed information about what we're doing we can't have the kids.  I'm tired of playing her games. 

Does anyone have a site we can point her to to show her the MN statues that talks about NCP taking kids out of state?  Not sure if there even is a specific statue.  We referred her to an attorney and/or police dept. 

Thanks.
 

Hello.  I'm not sure I have much advice, but I do understand your situation.  I'm non-custodial step-mom to two girls (10 and 7).  We have a standard schedule with them, EOW, holidays a few weeks in the summer.  We've contacted two attorneys to discuss 50/50 and were told it's not going to happen.  SD's are very comfortable here, very close to their dad (and me) and it would seem have no adverse affects to spending more time with us.  We believe it would be to their benefit actually.  But the routine has been set that the girls live with their mom most of the time.  A judge is unlikely to change that.   

Your ex can get away with what she's doing and a lot more in my opinion (unfortunately).  My DHs ex did a lot of what you describe but while they were married and still got physical custoday.  Most courts favor the mother. 

Document the time you are spending with the kids (sounds like quite a bit).  Take them to Dr appointments, be involved in school and their day to day lives.  If you maintain this for several months at least, you may have a good case for 50/50.  Consult with an attorney to discuss what more you can do.

Good luck!

Does Medical Assistance do reimbursments?

My DH and I are taking kids on vacation next week.  Youngest is on ADHD meds and is about to run out of them.  She has a new RX and the pharmacy is having a hard time getting through to MA to get it approved.  I'm thinking of just paying for it ($136), but would want to be reimbursed.

The MA is through their mom, so maybe she would have to make the claim?

Thanks!