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If he didnt show up and it was dismissed then why is there another court date about it. Is the PO still in effect?

There never was a PO. He asked for an emergency PO for 20 days which was denied after the police did a drive by and found out he was lying. He claimed we were beating the children and they were hiding in their closets. We were actualy outside pulling weeds. Not fun but hardly child abuse. The court set a date for an official PO hearing so that they could hear both sides 2 weeks after this and THAT is the one the ex didn't even bother showing up for. The judge dismissed the whole claim because of it. NOW we're just waiting for the court to set a date for the custody hearing.

This whole thing just stinks. We're just trying to hide all the paperwork from the kids and pretend like it's a normal summer.

I forgot to add that I have the paperwork from the PO hearing that says "dismissed because filing party did not attend".

Ugh. I should know better than to try and find out anything on a Friday. Everybody was already gone for the day or on vacation. "Try again on Monday".

Another question:

The same Friday my ex filed his motion for a change in custody he also filed a request for a 20 day PO claiming child abuse. Judge said there was nothing to prove this because A) it's a lie and B) the police apparantly did a drive by and saw us outside with the kids doing yard work and being a boring happy family. A court date was set to decide whether to dismiss or put a PO in for 1 year. Last Monday my husband and I showed up for court with papers from TONS of character witnesses all set to go but my ex NEVER SHOWED UP. Judge dismissed because of this.

My question is...does this look good for me/bad for him that he cried "child abuse" but didn't take it seriously enough to show up?

Thanks for the info. I'll check in with JAG tomorrow. I was wondering if it was going to be 3 weeks or 3 months before I heard anything.

No clue here, do you have  law school near by? they often have web pages on-line and you can get information from, if not try your state's unfified court  site. 

As a last resort I would call the clerks office where you had to file your answer and ask what is next?

Don't you have an attorney?

K

I've looked around online at the anchorage court system and can't figure it out. We've been speaking with the lawyers on base (my husband is active duty military) and they've been advising us on how to fill out the paperwork and what to say. They seem to think we'd be wasting our money on an atty at this point because they think it's a slam dunk on our side. We'll see. I didn't even think to call them and ask. We're actually pretty fortunate because the JAG office on base is usually pretty packed but they've been sitting around twiddling their thumbs lately just waiting for people to come in. 

Another Question:

Ex filed his motion and I was allowed 13 days from the date it was mailed to turn in my response. I did. He had 8 days to respond to my response. He did. Does anyone know what typically happens next and how long it takes? It's been a week now and I haven't heard anything from the court.

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm just hoping that my unwillingness to delete any *ex or kid related* e-mail will pay off. I seriously have 15 pages of e-mails.

Oh, I forgot to add if he's been "involved". Depends. He's attended some of the oldest son's music performances if it's right after work and he can swing by on his way home. I've got more than one e-mail from me reminding him to attend a science fair or asking for help with buying glasses only to receive an e-mail back a few days later telling me that he needs at least 30 days notice for monetary help with the kids and I should have called about the science fair.

The ex is somewhat local (lives in the next town over but works in my town). He was kicked out of the air force about a year ago (for failing to progress in rank) but he still works on the same base.
Also, I have had him tutored three times a week all school year. He doodles. The therapist says this is because of the ADHD and has recently started him on Concerta for the "focus problem" and Wellbutrin for the anger issues.
Thanks for responding. It's nice to just be heard.

Hi. Things have recently gotten ugly with my ex husband and I need advice re: our two sons ages 14 & 16

My ex and I divorced about 6 years ago and agreed to an unusual custody agreement (with the courts approval). He was active duty military at the time and we were living on base. Both children were attending base schools. Because I wanted them to continue to attend school on base my ex needed primary custody of one child to qualify for base housing/schooling. Because I had been a SAHM with no real job skills I needed primary custody of one child to qualify for govt assist housing while I learned a job skill. It was agreed that while we would each have primary custody of one child BOTH children would (1) spend nights with me (2) I would drop them off at father's house in the AM on base so they could walk to school (3)children would walk to dad's house after school, have dinner and then be returned to mom's house. These qualifying factors are clearly laid out in the paperwork approved by the child investigators office & AK court system.

About 3 months after I left base housing my ex husband promptly moved off base to live with our ex neighbor who he is now married to. While I can't prove it and never even thought of bringing it up in court (too embarrassed) I think it's obvious why I divorced him.

Anyway, over the last 6 years I have remarried also. We have bought a home, found a wonderful church, I'm again a SAHM (attempting to start a home business) and the kids have gradually begun spending more and more time in our home. Because my ex & his wife moved about 30 minutes away he is no longer in our school district and the kids come straight home now. Ex sees them maybe twice a week and then every other weekend.

Our 16 yo son (who ex has primary custody of) has adjusted well and is happy with the situation as it is. However, our 14 yo son (my custody) never quite got over the divorce. He has struggled with school ever since, is angry and very disrepectful towards me. He likes to taunt me by telling me that his dad and step mom refer to me as "the cow", if I can't find something he claims the step mom has it and loves it. I've talked to my ex about this and he professes total innocence and says our son is an angel at his house.

Over the years our son's grades have gotten so bad he almost failed this past year. I told him if he didn't bring his grades up he was being homeschooled. I think this is where the crap hit the fan. The 16 yo is thrilled because Alaska pays for children to be homeschooled even if the child wants to attend college. Pretty amazing stuff. I thought this would be perfect for the 14 yo because he could attend smaller classes, with a licensed teacher, and get more one on one help. He freaked. He wants to hang out with his skater friends and continue to fail. I refuse to let this happen. I have made sure he is active in church (which he likes), I have almost 2 years worth of e-mails between his teachers and I, and his therapist has diagnosed him with ADHD (inattentive type) with adjustment disorder. We have some serious issues that I have been dealing with.....with little to NO help from his dad.

So now I'm the bad guy. Once our son realized I was serious about homeschooling he wouldn't speak to me. He was grounded at my house until the final report card came in that he had even passed school (he did but only because one of his teachers let him do extra credit on the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL or he was failing). Both kids spent that weekend with their dad and came home VERY happy. Normal for our older son who is naturally happy but odd for the 14 year old. He cruised in the house with a smile on his face and a big bag of candy. Turns out he and dad had a GREAT weekend. Dad bought him candy, took him bowling and they went to the movies! what fun! Rewarded for possibly failing! So...a few days go by and I'm served with court papers. The ex wants primary custody of BOTH children and has included a note written by my 14 yo saying that he wants to live with dad because I yell and BEAT HIM. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It's complete crap but I don't know what to do. I asked both boys what was going on and the 16 asked to be left out of it. I went to bed and cried for 2 days (after sending the kids off to bible camp).

I have responded to the ex's motion with glowing letters from our bishop, our son's teacher stating that she had never seen a better or more involved parent and his therapist stating he absolutely disagreed with any change in custody. I have receipts from the past two years showing where my husband and I have provided ALL insurance, paid for all medical visits/glasses/dentists. Almost 100 e-mails between teachers and I checking on the kid's schoolwork. I also have e-mails between my ex and I where it's clear I keep him informed on happenings with the kids while in our home.


My question is....after all this what are the chances my ex will gain custody? He's their buddy...not a dad.
(sorry about being so long winded)