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I do get your point.  I don't want to be "that girl" who is used and then discarded.  I call myself being careful.  BF is very active in this and I am only helping him.  He is doing all the actual work.  He did not ask me to look anything up on the internet.  I just wanted to learn more about what his rights are.  Because , even though he is going through this, it affects me too.  My children are grown, BF did not have custody when we met and now all the sudden I may have 2 full time step children.  Yes, I have an interest in the situation.  But I will keep an eye on this so that he doesn't start giving me the extra work that could turn into me doing all of it.  Like you stated, the boys may not remember the situation at hand, but what comes down the road.

Thanks,

I appreciate the advice to get an attorney and I will pass that on. 

I also appreciate, Rave, your honesty and apparently, your warnings.  I am not pushing BF to get custody.  I am sincerely offering my assistance in anyway possible to educate the both of us on this situation. As I am learning, fathers do not have as much support or legal recourse as mothers.  I thought I could get some useful advice on this website; not a lashing.

I am a mother of 3 myself and am well aware of the concerns and needs of the mother.  The boys at this point are the main concern.  Not her needs.  She is choosing to stay with a man with child abuse and domestic violence charges on him and he is not to have any contact with his own daughter.  The boys are where they are the most safe, with their father.

I do want to be able to help him in anyway I can to keep custody and to get permanent custody.  I do not won't or have I tried to put my two cents in where the BM is concerned.  She and I have not had words ever and I intend to keep it that way. 

Please understand that I do appreciate your experience and I hate that your situation turned out to be a living hell.  With your advice and suggestions, I will keep myself in check and know that I will not receive any rewards or return for helping my boyfriend keep his children.

My boyfriend has temporary (6 months) custody of his 7 and 9 year old boys (one with Autism).  He was awarded this 2 weeks ago because the mother refuses to leave her husband who has domestic violence charges (she filed) and child abuse charges for his own daughter.  DHR has repeatedly told the mother that if she would leave the husband, she may be able to get the boys back.  What does the dad, my boyfriend need to do now to prevent this from happening.  My concerns are that the mother has chosen to stay with the husband, who has charges pending, over keeping her kids, she isolates the boys at her home (they are not allowed downstairs with the adults, and so many other things that are scary. 

I don't know what other information will be needed to give me the advice I'm looking for, so please feel free to ask.

Thanks,
C-