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I claim him and will this year also. I worked for the first half of the year before my son was born. There is nothing in our order indicating who is to claim. So you're saying that even though I don't work, and in turn, my husband provides support for majority of the year, his father can still claim him? Why can't my husband claim him as a dependant?

My son's father has an older daughter who he has primary custody of as of 2/05 and receives support from her mother.

I am not aware if he has medical for my son. He has never provided me with that information. I assume he does. He has my son on the weekends so I don't believe he uses any childcare but does put him in camp over the summer. He never discussed the camp or the cost with me.

After our hearing in Oct of 05, the lawyer I had at the time said I should file. She is no longer my lawyer, and I have a feeling she just would file what I wanted to get a payment IYKWIM. I will be utilizing my husbands legal plan to get some advice from a lawyer tomorrow so I can give them all of the facts and they can advise me whether to go forward with the conference or if I am just better off just withdrawing.

Nowhere in our custody agreement does it mention 'transportation costs' specifically, just I am responsible for providing it. So I am sure that can include costs.  

Maybe I was unclear, but I don't remember saying that he should be responsible for my new children. I just explained that the reason I am not working is not for any disability etc., but because in our case childcare would take a substantial portion of any pay I may receive. If he had another child and he had to pay support for him/her, I wouldn't receive any less support because it was after the fact. Right?

Thanks for all of you information. It has been extremely helpful.

Sorry for the double post, but I originally posted this on the wrong board. :P

I live in MD but my support order is in PA. The order was put into effect in 2001 and has never been modified. I currently receive $158.00 bi-weekly. Since then, I have married and moved to Maryland in 2003. I have primary legal and physical custody of my 6 year old son with his dad getting approx. 100 overnights a year, give or take a few. I was never married to my son's father.

Per our Custody Order, I am to do all of the transportation back and forth. I have had another child with my husband and we have another on the way. I am currently a stay-at-home mom because I wouldn't make enough to cover the costs of childcare. I believe that my son's father has a considerably higher paying job since 2001, but I seriously doubt that it pay more than my husbands.

Questions:

1) Does my husband's income have to be disclosed since I currently have none of my own? We do file jointly. (I would be surprised if this answer is 'no' but wishful thinking can't hurt ;c) )

2) If not, will they determine the amount of support based on only my earning capacity?

3) If I do need to disclose it, would that mean that my husband's income is 'our'  income and his expenses are 'our' expenses?

4) In my case, I take my son's to his fathers twice a month 360 miles round-trip for a total of 720 per month. Would I be able to list this as an extraordinary expense? (In our 'agreement', I did agree to do 100% of transportation, but that was before gas became ridiculous. But that's neither one of our faults.)

5) I have heard that if you have an infant at home, mothers are exempt from working for a year after their birth. Is this a myth?

I have a CS date on 1/24 and due to budget issues, can't afford to have a lawyer present so I am flying solo. Thanks for all your help and suggestions in advance. Feel free to ask any questions if something is unclear.

~Eva

I have, but I haven't found anything that could pass as 'official'.  The company I am working with to get the loan agrees that this should be unecessary, but the lender is asking for it.  

I am a little insulted that you would think that I would use child support as my income for a house.  Have you ever bought a house? They check into every source of income you get.  Even if I was making $0.50 a year on a stock, they would want to know about it.  And who is the poster madmom?

I do have an order...but the bank want's something that specifically says 'child will be intitled to support until xxxx date.'  If it is on a site somewhere, I haven't found it yet.  I am in MD, and I don't think my library will have PA law books.

Thanks,

Eva

Does anyone know of a link where I can get the actual law that states my child will recieve child support unitl 18?  I am having a lot of trouble trying to find it online.  I don't know if I am just not searching for the right thing or what.  I am trying to get a loan for a house, and my lender says they need proof that my son will receive child support until age 18 and it doesn't mention anything like that in my child support order.

TIA

Eva

If you are sending you kids to the NCP, then you are not the sole custodial parent.

I have a similar situation in that my son has to travel to see his dad. It's about 3.5 hours one way. Since I moved, I am responsible for all of the transport. He goes to his fathers 2x a month, gets most holidays, and then stays for the majority of the summer.

I hate the driving, and the fact that when my son is with his father for the short time, there are many times that his father is working or has my son being babysat. It sucks, but it's life. It's something that I have to deal with until his dad either A, grows up [highly unlikely] or B, my son gets old enough to express to the judge that he would much rather spend his time doing other things. And even then, there's no guarantee that his dad will be forced to help in transport or have less time with his son.

I used to be just like you, thinking that the judge and the courts will think logically and agree with me all the time. But it's just not the case. There are kids who travel just as much if not more with parents that are together, and they are just fine. I agree with the other posters that you need to pick you battles and this is one better left unsought.

Sure there are other factors in all of our situations, but we can only comment on what you post and not everyone is going to agree with you. And don't take it that if one person agrees with you that must mean you are right and should pursue this. I believe based on what you posted, that it will be a waste of time and you most likely will just frustrate the courts. And when you actually DO have a more serious issue to address, it will be overshadowed by all your unnecessary claims and will be taken less seriously.

I have learned to sit back and let my son's father shoot himself in the foot so I'm not left holding the gun... he's doing a pretty good job at it too :)

Go to your county clerk office. When I moved from PA to MD, they told me what I needed from the PA court in order to register my custody order in MD. For me it was a PITA because my clerks office couldn't get their heads outta their behinds to figure out exactly what I needed.

I live in MD, but my custody order is PA. My son is very allergic to cats, but his dad insists on having two cats in his home. My son and I were in the ER last night until 2 am after coming back from his dad's with an asthma attack :( He got the cats about 3 months ago and every time I pick my son up, he progressively is worse. He's on his 3rd allergy med, and now has an inhaler.

I am not sending him his next weekend and going to drive to Philadelphia next Monday to file the emergency modification. The courts there only allow emergency filings on Mondays, and I couldn't travel today with my son being sick.

Of course I feel that this is an emergent situation :) but I wanted to get the input of some others that have gone through similar situations.

Case Points
- My son was diagnosed in 2005 as having a severe allergies to cats
- He visits his father 2x a month and for the whole summer [approx. 9 weeks]
- Since after finding out his diagnosis, his father has had no less then 5 cats over this time
- Currently he has two and even after asking, pleading and down right telling to find another home for these animals, his father insists that the cats have nothing to do with my son's discomfort and refuses to find a new home.
- I have sent his father countless emails, medical documents and had phone discussions on this matter and he still won't budge.

I am planning to ask for his visitation be suspended until he can prove  that he removed the cats and did a thorough house cleaning.  My husband thinks that they judge will just tell him to get rid of the cats but still continue with the visitations.

My outlook though is that if these cats are causing attacks, but his father is saying it's not the cats, then he will not seek treatment for my son when he says he doesn't feel well. I am so fearful that my son will get very sick and his dad won't do a thing. And the saddest part is that my son's father had a nephew who died from asthma :( He swears up and down it's from him running around. But he runs around in my house and is fine. He only is sick after coming back from his dads.

Thanks in advance for your input!

~Eva

Soc,

Thanks so much for your response.

I am the one whole filed for the modification to increase, not the state.

Also at this time, I cannot afford a lawyer. I am responsible for 100% of transportation twice a month to get my son to and from his fathers house 180 miles one way, and with today's gas prices, gas is eating up 100% of my CS every month.

I will try to do these two contempts without representation first, since filing for contempt is free in Philadelphia. If I still don't get anywhere, I will then see about retaining and attorney.  

Just a few more questions.

1) The only forms I found online for the Philadelphia Family Court was for Contempt of Custody. Can I use this form and just cross out custody? And would I need to replace it with something or just leave Contempt?

2) The company he works with is quite large; would I have to serve the contempt papers? Or would the courts just mail them?

3) If I have to provide service, where would I send it too? The website for the company directs all inquiries to you local store. There isn't any contact information for a home office or headquarters.  

Thanks so much,

~Eva