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This is not a divorce; the mother and I were dating for a number of months, had started drifting apart when the pregnancy news came along.  The break-up a couple months later.   As the bio dad to be, I'm trying to figure out what options i might have for visitation arrangements during infancy and early childhood.  If I'm to be the dad, seems I should be there from the first.  I think she'd rather i disappear, but that doesn't seem right to me.