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She offered to pay $50 a month and she owes around $50 a week so in her little version of the world 25% is a "good" effort to try and be able to claim one of the children. But I actually looked up on irs.gov and she doesn't even have them enough overnights in the year to qualify for the child tax credit anyway!I guess if she is smart enough to get a lawyer and go for modificationthat is up to her, but basically that would mean that poorFatherforever would have to legally pay even more than he already hasbeen.

I wouldn't know the first thing to do to put in evidence of her "healthy, workable" state. Do they have an actually agency that deals with disability evidence. Bascially she can keep going to her doctor whenever she has to have a reevaluation and say that it still hurt so much to stand and walk and they sign away another few months of disability for her. /sigh

My Fiance's ex wife insist on calling the children at least daily. They are 3 and 5 and she gets angry if they don't want to talk, claiming that my fiance is poisoning them against her and all this nonsense. What kind of phone etiquette does she expect a 3 year old to have?

It does say in his parenting plan that if the other parent calls you have 24 hours for the child to return the call. His ex wife had them on Christmas Eve and returned them at 10:00pm that evening. She called on Christmas Day during his time with them and we let it go to voicemail and had the children call her the next day. It's best to set the rules in your house, sure she could have a phone card and instructions that she needs to her phone on at all times, but she is in YOUR house and it is YOUR time with her.

Lol, everything seems easier in NY!

Well Fatherforever (FF) and I talked to his ex wife last night (he put her on speaker phone so I could truly get a taste of what she's like). She was asking how much child care was and how much she owed. He explained to her that it's all written out in the divorce decree etc. She said she could pay $50 a month and that the 35.2% of the child care was too much. She is already about $1200 in the hole, but he explained that he would mail her all the receipts. She is trying to get on FF's good side because she wants to claim one of the children on taxes and she can't do that unless she is current on her child care.

I guess my question now is... Are there any loop holes to filing this contempt motion against her? Could the judge dismiss it based on her current financial situation? FF has tried again and again through the months to get her to pay and nothing has become of it. She has the money if she would pay on time, it's about $50 a week for her share for the children to be in day care. I have documented every interaction FF has had with her about helping with payments, but it still makes me uneasy. Could they redo the worksheets at the contempt motion since her financial state has changed?

When he talked to her last night and she was complaining about her lack of money, he said that she should get a job. She screamed back at him that because of the tumor that was in her foot, she couldn't stand for more than an hour, but we have more than enough photographic evidence and witnesses to argue otherwise. She's out at clubs, dancing and drinking, but she says she can't get a job because she can't stand. This is all so frustrating.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!

That is the best when faced with an alienating parent. Be sure not to do any alienating in return, usually the parent doing the alienating has no idea the child is building up resentment towards that parent for trying to "erase" the other parent from their life.

Be sure you document not only the negative interactions you witness, but any interactions you have with the children that show you are a competent individual, whether it be you taking her to the doctor, helping her with her homework, etc. (I don't know how old she is, but you get the picture).

The fact that your child is old enough to be aware of the alienating does help. She understands what they are doing to her, and could grow to resent the other parent.

Do you have any idea when you will return to court for permanent custody? If you are going to try for custody it is always best to have at least a year of documentation. And I wouldn't wait to try for custody if that is your ultimate goal. It is much harder to change a parenting plan once it is set, because it is in the best interests of the children, and the court generally dislikes modifications if the current custody arrangements are working.

I don't know if you can file for a motion of contempt or not until you have a permanent order, it would be something worth looking into on your state's court website.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks ocean,

I am currently reading through the motion of contempt paperwork for Washington state. I am a little confused. There is a section where you write in what is owed through the motion and also a place to add interest. Does the court fill that out or do you figure out the interest on the amount owed? Just a bit confusing.

Here is a link to the forms, it's the top one.

www.courts.wa.gov/forms/?fa=forms.contribute&formID=9


Lol, I don't even know where to start on some of the other forms. I understand the declarations and the sealed financial documents one, but then they have contempt motion judgements on the bottom. Any help is greatly appreciated and will be a surprise for Fatherforever!


Thanks!

[Order of Child Support]

POSTING FOR FATHERFOREVER...

Hi ocean,

The child support worksheets in the divorce decree imputed FF's ex wife's income at $1952, because she was working part time and therefore "voluntarily underemployed". The amount of child support she would have to pay with the standard calculation is $445.

The following is taken out of the Order of Child Support section of the divorce decree. It states:

Reasons for Deviation From Standard Calculation

"The child support amount ordered in paragraph 3.5 deviates from the standard calculation for the following reasons:

The children spend(s) a significant amount of time with the parent who is obligated to make a transfer payment. The deviation does not result in insufficient funds in the receiving parent's household to meet the basic needs of the children. The children does not receive public assistance;

The factual basis for these reasons is as follows:

Based upon the parties' income as calculated in the worksheets, the transfer payment would be $445 per month based upon a traditional parenting plan where the mother did not have significant overnights. The mother has significant overnights with the children. Based upon using a residential credit the transfer payment comes out to be a $10 credit per month to the mother. As a result, there is a zero transfer payment. However, each party will still pay their proportionate share of daycare expenses for the children provided below."

Thank you ocean. We are getting the receipts and all necessary documents ready this month for a contempt motion in January.

And as far as the documenting thing... I was going to start up this topic just for incite as to how to deal with some of the things that my bf's ex has put us and her children through, but I think it confused some people. Anyways, will keep you posted as it unfolds!

~Des

[Situation:]

INCIDENT REPORT

Date: 7/02/2009   Time: 7:45pm

Situation: I, Fatherforever, and my girlfriend, MissDesire, stopped by R's mother's house to pick up some money from R. The children were supposed to be with her Thursday and Friday as arranged. She told me to take them immediately.

Action: R gave me $100. I took the children home with me. R told me she had gotten kicked out of the house by her mom, because of R's boyfriend.

Result: No babysitter for Friday. Don't know where R stayed that night. Upon arriving home, my youngest son (age 2) exclaimed that their grandma (R's mother) had told both him and his older brother (age 5) that R's boyfriend was a "bad man". I later found out that R had not been kicked out, but left after a verbal fight with her mother, in which the children were present.

~Des

[Situation:]

So my boyfriend and I are fairly new to this forum. My boyfriend you may know is Fatherforever, whom all you wonderful people have been giving advice, encouragement and necessary cautions to. And I am sure you have heard of his crazy ex and his two children, whom are stuck in the middle of this hellish battle. We are planning to file for child support and a motion of contempt at the beginning of 2010 for the complete lack of financial help she has given for the children. And our ultimate goal is for Fatherforever to file for sole custody later next year. All we wish to accomplish is to have a safe loving environment that these children can grow up in, and that is being destroyed by the continued actions of R.

Personally, I am new to this world of divorce, child custody and angry, unagreeable parents, but I have fallen in love with a man and this two beautiful boys, so I am in for the long haul! This topic is for idea, opinions and emotions that the following information may elicit.

About 6 months ago I began documenting all interactions that R had with Fatherforever and the children. They became known as incident reports. Since I have personal/emotional ties with the subject matter it is very hard at time to make an unbiased opinion or judgement about a situation. Many of you who read these interactions will find similiarities to problems in your own child custody issues. Please give us honest, unbiased opinions for the following reports. Thank you to all those whom have helped us, and to all those who read this. We will keep you posted as things unfold.

~Des

(The following is the standard outline I created for an incident report, they became more and more detailed as the 6 months have gone on!)


INCIDENT REPORT

Date: 6/30/20   Time: 11:00am

Situation: I sent R a text message about paying some money towards bills and child care ($100), she refused.

Action: I reminded R of contributing half to bills signed in our divorce decree as well as her share (35.2%) in child care and education costs for the children.

Result: No answer.

[My Fianceis looking to modify his child support order. He has 2 children (ages 3and 5) with his ex wife. At the time that the parenting plan was inplace the parenting time was close to 60/40 (with him having a bit morephysical time with them). Even when this part of the parenting plan wasinplace, she hardly every saw the children, nor picked them up for herscheduled time. They filled out Child Support Worksheet for WashingtonState with their divorce decree in which she would pay $445 a month,but they brought the balance to zero because she was supposedly tospend significant time with the children. Now that their oldest (5yearold) started kindergarten, they are on the schoolschedule of the parenting plan. The school schedule is indefinite now.His ex wife hasthem every other weekend from Friday at 4:00pm to Sundayat 6:00pm, and every Wednesday from 4:00pm to Thursday morning at9:00am. That gives her a total of 8 overnights a month, half of whichshe refuses to pick them up for. She doesn't help out financially atall. She is also supposed to pay 35.2%of child care costs for day care,but refuses that as well. What would need to be done to change theorder so he canreceive child support? We were looking through theforms, but the Child Support Worksheet form has a designated spot forthe ex wife to sign atthe end, and we know that she will never sign it.And also, would he look at the forms marked "I'm the Custodial Parentwith a Child SupportOrder?" or the one"...without a Child SupportOrder"? This is all so overwhelming and he is getting upset, becauseshe won't help contribute financially he is barely making ends meet.Any help will be greatly appreciated.Thank you.~Miss Des]

My Fianceis looking to modify his child support order. He has 2 children (ages 3and 5) with his ex wife. At the time that the parenting plan was inplace the parenting time was close to 60/40 (with him having a bit morephysical time with them). Even when this part of the parenting plan wasinplace, she hardly every saw the children, nor picked them up for herscheduled time. They filled out Child Support Worksheet for WashingtonState with their divorce decree in which she would pay $445 a month,but they brought the balance to zero because she was supposedly tospend significant time with the children. Now that their oldest (5yearold) started kindergarten,  they are on the schoolschedule of the parenting plan. The school schedule is indefinite now.His ex wife hasthem every other weekend from Friday at 4:00pm to Sundayat 6:00pm, and every Wednesday from 4:00pm to Thursday morning at9:00am. That gives her a total of 8 overnights a month, half of whichshe refuses to pick them up for. She doesn't help out financially atall. She is also supposed to pay 35.2%of child care costs for day care,but refuses that as well. What would need to be done to change theorder so he canreceive child support? We were looking through theforms, but the Child Support Worksheet form has a designated spot forthe ex wife to sign atthe end, and we know that she will never sign it.And also, would he look at the forms marked "I'm the Custodial Parentwith a Child SupportOrder?" or the one"...without a Child SupportOrder"? This is all so overwhelming and he is getting upset, becauseshe won't help contribute financially he is barely making ends meet.Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
~Miss Des