I appreciate the response and thanks for the advice. Do you have any suggestions on a good book that will help me prepare my case and give me some insight to the process.
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#2
Custody Issues / Re: Military father seeking custody questions
Dec 05, 2009, 05:34:14 PM
I appreciate your response; you have a lot of good points and suggestions. I'm state side for about another year hopefully. The decision to surge 30K troops might change that time frame.
I have consulted with my lawyer on these issues many times and he tries to mediate keeping me out of court and saving money. I think I might new another lawyer. As far as filing for contempt, I will look up the process and find out how I can do that. I have a geographical issue of 750 miles working against me. The only other choice is a $150 per hour lawyer that can represent me every time she does things like this. Can I back date the offenses and just show up in Alabama and file 30 contempt's? I didn't realize I could spell out specific requests in contempt's like car seats so thanks.
My older daughter is her biological my adopted child. I have texts from the ex stating that she can't afford to take care of the children even though I pay more than what is order by the court and help quite often. I even pay for the car. How can I document or prove that she smokes in her house, and the grandfather smokes with my asthmatic daughter in his house (they live in different towns but same city)
None the less you believe my daughter living separately for the past few months justifies custody? The only proof I have of this is my daughter's word.
With the web cam, she says she can't get internet, but I put in the decree wherever broadband is available and satellite internet is available everywhere. Do you think that is a good argument?
I have text showing I wanted my oldest daughter to have sessions with a therapist. It's covered by my insurance but she won't take her. I assume it's because she doesn't want anymore traces of her cheating behavior. She is 11 now and wants to live with me so hopefully the court will listen to her request.
I have the medical records of the children constantly being sick, but how do I link that with smoking in attempts to stop her from doing that.
Also, last year while I was deployed the ex had an issue with a teacher letting her walk onto school grounds and pick up my son. So with my 3yr old in hand, the entire kindergarten outside waiting to be picked up by their parents she decided to pick a verbal fight with the teacher in front of everyone. She used some pretty obscene language and was escorted off the school grounds. Do you think I should attempt to get a copy of the report if one was made?
I understand this is the tip of the ice berg and I have a long road ahead of me but worth it.
Thanks
I have consulted with my lawyer on these issues many times and he tries to mediate keeping me out of court and saving money. I think I might new another lawyer. As far as filing for contempt, I will look up the process and find out how I can do that. I have a geographical issue of 750 miles working against me. The only other choice is a $150 per hour lawyer that can represent me every time she does things like this. Can I back date the offenses and just show up in Alabama and file 30 contempt's? I didn't realize I could spell out specific requests in contempt's like car seats so thanks.
My older daughter is her biological my adopted child. I have texts from the ex stating that she can't afford to take care of the children even though I pay more than what is order by the court and help quite often. I even pay for the car. How can I document or prove that she smokes in her house, and the grandfather smokes with my asthmatic daughter in his house (they live in different towns but same city)
None the less you believe my daughter living separately for the past few months justifies custody? The only proof I have of this is my daughter's word.
With the web cam, she says she can't get internet, but I put in the decree wherever broadband is available and satellite internet is available everywhere. Do you think that is a good argument?
I have text showing I wanted my oldest daughter to have sessions with a therapist. It's covered by my insurance but she won't take her. I assume it's because she doesn't want anymore traces of her cheating behavior. She is 11 now and wants to live with me so hopefully the court will listen to her request.
I have the medical records of the children constantly being sick, but how do I link that with smoking in attempts to stop her from doing that.
Also, last year while I was deployed the ex had an issue with a teacher letting her walk onto school grounds and pick up my son. So with my 3yr old in hand, the entire kindergarten outside waiting to be picked up by their parents she decided to pick a verbal fight with the teacher in front of everyone. She used some pretty obscene language and was escorted off the school grounds. Do you think I should attempt to get a copy of the report if one was made?
I understand this is the tip of the ice berg and I have a long road ahead of me but worth it.
Thanks
#3
Custody Issues / Military father seeking custody questions
Dec 05, 2009, 02:22:26 PM
To better understand my case I would like to take this from the beginning, I have Served in the Military for 15 yrs and have been married for the past 7yrs with 3 children ( our oldest was hers but I adopted). Last year I deployed to Iraq and after numerous attempts to save the marriage I quit due to her documented infidelity. Prior to the Deployment I relocated my family to Alabama around her parents address so that my family would have a better support system. When I returned to the US I had 30 days of R&R. My plan was to take the children fight for custody, etc etc. Since I moved her away from my duty station in Texas I was advised by my attorney not to take the children out of state. Also having a moment of clarity and witnessing how difficult Military life is on the children without two parents I decided to abandon my fight for custody. She was a decent mother when we were married and agreed to have joint custody with her being the primary care giver and the children reside with her.
Since the Divorce I have witnessed and found out things I never thought possible of her, <o:p></o:p>
1. My 10yr old daughter witnessed the affair on numerous occasions and often cried about it. She later told me, "her mom had threatened her not to tell dad about any of the "boys" spending the night while he was deployed".
2. I have self admittance of the affair on voice conversations with the ex also<o:p></o:p>
3. I volunteered to pay rehabilitated alimony for 6 months since she hasn't worked in 7 years and I wanted my children to stay in a decent house. It has been 8 months now and she has no job and has decided to just accept welfare. <o:p></o:p>
4. Our decree states no one of the opposite sex not related is allowed to spend the night. She moved my 10 old in with her grandparents and now the boyfriend spends the night. "I'm hiring a PI it prove"<o:p></o:p>
5. She started smoking in the house with my other 2 children ages 3 and 7, they all have chronic ear infections, cough's, runny nose, and sniffles every time I see them.<o:p></o:p>
6. Grand pa smokes in the 1000 sqft house with my asthmatic 10 yr old. She now resides there so she can't witness boyfriend spending the night "I'm hiring a PI to prove that"<o:p></o:p>
7. She refuses to put my 3 yr old in a car seat. She meets me 250 miles 6 times a year to exchange the children and they are never in seatbelts or car seats. I have an audio clip that holds the conversation of me offering to give her my car seat since she does not have one. And she refused<o:p></o:p>
8. My 3 yr old now has 4 cavities in her front teeth.<o:p></o:p>
9. She drops the kids off at her parents' house on the weekend and has "ME" time every weekend. She goes out and wakes up around noonish every sat and sun. "so my 10yr old says. <o:p></o:p>
10. I have documented through texts, 30 contempt of court with her refusing to allow me to talk with my children <o:p></o:p>
11. I have text showing her withholding the children unless her monetary demands are met<o:p></o:p>
12. She refused to get a web cam that is stated in the decree so I can see my children<o:p></o:p>
13. She has fraudently opened an electricity account in my name for her house using my SS#<o:p></o:p>
14. They are showing signs of mal nourishment<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
Finding out details after the divorce I went to my attorney in Alabama and he thinks I need to fight for non-deployable status in order to get custody of my children. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
Questions:<o:p></o:p>
1. With all that is going on, would my deployable status even be considered an issue in a court?<o:p></o:p>
2. Should I give up my career and loose the children's: medical, dental, education, etc benefits?<o:p></o:p>
3. How can I better document the above offences?<o:p></o:p>
4. Which of the above would hold the most weight in a court of law<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Any suggestions and answers would be appreciated, and thank you for your time<o:p></o:p>
Since the Divorce I have witnessed and found out things I never thought possible of her, <o:p></o:p>
1. My 10yr old daughter witnessed the affair on numerous occasions and often cried about it. She later told me, "her mom had threatened her not to tell dad about any of the "boys" spending the night while he was deployed".
2. I have self admittance of the affair on voice conversations with the ex also<o:p></o:p>
3. I volunteered to pay rehabilitated alimony for 6 months since she hasn't worked in 7 years and I wanted my children to stay in a decent house. It has been 8 months now and she has no job and has decided to just accept welfare. <o:p></o:p>
4. Our decree states no one of the opposite sex not related is allowed to spend the night. She moved my 10 old in with her grandparents and now the boyfriend spends the night. "I'm hiring a PI it prove"<o:p></o:p>
5. She started smoking in the house with my other 2 children ages 3 and 7, they all have chronic ear infections, cough's, runny nose, and sniffles every time I see them.<o:p></o:p>
6. Grand pa smokes in the 1000 sqft house with my asthmatic 10 yr old. She now resides there so she can't witness boyfriend spending the night "I'm hiring a PI to prove that"<o:p></o:p>
7. She refuses to put my 3 yr old in a car seat. She meets me 250 miles 6 times a year to exchange the children and they are never in seatbelts or car seats. I have an audio clip that holds the conversation of me offering to give her my car seat since she does not have one. And she refused<o:p></o:p>
8. My 3 yr old now has 4 cavities in her front teeth.<o:p></o:p>
9. She drops the kids off at her parents' house on the weekend and has "ME" time every weekend. She goes out and wakes up around noonish every sat and sun. "so my 10yr old says. <o:p></o:p>
10. I have documented through texts, 30 contempt of court with her refusing to allow me to talk with my children <o:p></o:p>
11. I have text showing her withholding the children unless her monetary demands are met<o:p></o:p>
12. She refused to get a web cam that is stated in the decree so I can see my children<o:p></o:p>
13. She has fraudently opened an electricity account in my name for her house using my SS#<o:p></o:p>
14. They are showing signs of mal nourishment<o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
Finding out details after the divorce I went to my attorney in Alabama and he thinks I need to fight for non-deployable status in order to get custody of my children. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p></o:p>
Questions:<o:p></o:p>
1. With all that is going on, would my deployable status even be considered an issue in a court?<o:p></o:p>
2. Should I give up my career and loose the children's: medical, dental, education, etc benefits?<o:p></o:p>
3. How can I better document the above offences?<o:p></o:p>
4. Which of the above would hold the most weight in a court of law<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Any suggestions and answers would be appreciated, and thank you for your time<o:p></o:p>
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