Right of First Refusal is for when you are going to be absent for a period of two weeks or more (at least in Texas). The day to day thing of taking them to day care so you can work shouldn't have any bearing on this, and if it isn't in your custody papers right now, she would have to go to court and get it modified to include this, if she even knew anything about it. Most people really don't though, at least from what I can tell when talking to others.