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Thank You all, I tried talking to him today. The bottom line is his girlfriend and him both are bad alcoholics and do cocaine. If the to take the kids my eleven year old is left in the house to watch all the kids. They turned  the garage into a bar and go out there to party telling my eleven year old no children are allowed to come out there. When the kids come home they are hungry and exhausted. They can barely stand up. They tell me how they make fun of my three year old. The girlfriend takes my daughters cell phone so she cant call me.They say terrible things to my kids about me that I am a F###ing Bit#h. At my home my kids eat regular meals and go to bed at a decent hour. She willingly gave all her kids up to lay drunk and party. I can only think he wants the same now. He doesn't care if the kids get hurt only if they get to drink and do drugs. Her son smokes pot in the house. the fathers of the other children are very worried also. They just past a law in NY state that it is a felony to drink and drive with kids in the car. I am taking him back to court to have it legal about him giving up the Tuesdays and Wednesday's. I give him a calender every month showing all the kids activity's and his visitation, so he knows. He doesn't even go to parent teacher conferences or any games.  The kids call him but he won't take their calls. Everyone tells me I have to get my kids out of there. I keep asking my self which is the lesser of two evils a father drunk and high in front of them or no father? I am very depressed for my children. I want to what is right for them. The girlfriend yells at them all the time. Any ideas on how to handle this? I feel so bad for all the father's who want to be part of there children's life and the mother stops them. Any idea's what I can do legally  about any of this? Thank You All, Scootadja

I have been documenting everything. I am heart broken for my kids. I am not sure what to do. My plans are always ruined because I feel hostage to his BS. He has them basically 48 hours a month. He can't handle that. All him and his girlfriend do is party. Child support is garnished out of his check. He is always behind on daycare. I have to pay his share and wait till he pays me back. I would like to see the court put an end to the inconstancy with the visitation. He was suppose to pick the kids up at 8 tonight but said I will pick them up tomorrow. No time so I have to sit here and wait? He always brakes the court order. I am very scared for their safety.  I never trash him to the kids. But his mother girlfriend and him make fun of me and tell the kids lies about me. Thank You for your help Scootadja

Hi, I am new here. I have three children 3,8, and 11. My ex husband an I divorced a year and a half ago. The court order states specific times for visitation. I understand that sometimes you have to make changes because things come up. The problem is I felt that my ex would want to be involved in his children's lives. He broke up our marriage and his girlfriend broke up hers to be together. She has four children to different guys. All those fathers have the children. She gets them when she calls and asks to(seldom) and only when my ex has our children. he continually calls and makes excuses as to why he has to pick them up late, bring them back early or not pick them up at all. He gave up his parenting time for Tuesdays overnight and every other Wednesday. He gets them every other weekend. He picks them up and drops them at his moms, brothers or friends who ever will take them. He tells me well I'm not picking them up tonight I Will come tomorrow without giving me a time. His girlfriend does not want my kids there. They live together and are both bad alcoholics and do cocaine. Neither have had any charges against them. He has drove with my kids drunk. I never thought he would become this person. I am worried for my children's safety. The have no beds sleep on the floor. There are beds there for her children and mine are not allowed to sleep in them. I have sent many clothes for them to keep there but dad cant find them? so the kids sleep in what I send them in. Many more issues. I want him to be part of there lives. I cant force him to do whats right. His mother girlfriend and him continually  bad mouth me to my children. any ideas on what to do?