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The thing is I already have an extra day that is NOT included in the extended visitation.
I have 1st third, and fifth weekends from thursday after school to monday morning.

on 2nd and 4th weeks, i have Wednesday and Thursday overnight till friday.  i pick up my kiddos wedndsday after school, and return them to school friday morning. 

This works out at about 60/40 custody.  she has 50 more days than i do this year.

She is asking that it be lessened.  i'm guessing to the "extended standard visitation" that you mention.


As far as the evaluator goes, my attornet mentioned an ad litem attorney for the kids.  is this the same thing as an evaluator?  is the evaluator better than a GAL?

I truly believe now that i am the better parent in the ordeal.  I have always tried to continue the kid's relationship with their mom.  At christmas, I even tried to let her see the kids on Christmas day overnight (i had them this Christmas) and she refused.  i ask her to call when the kids are sad to suprise them... she's never done this for me. 

To top things off, she called to talk to the kids last night and my son mentioned to his mom that he wanted to see me "6 days, and her 6 days"... (he says this often... they stay with mom 6 days in a row, and me 4...)  She then tells him that it's "up to the Judge to decide" and goes into detail on what the judge does in cases like this.  The kids are 6 yrs old.  I have been told numerous times not to do this.  LAst night my son woke up and started asking questions about "the judge". 

There's so many things here that concern me.  I just want my kids to be as affected by this as little as possible, and these situations are making it tougher on the kids than they need to be. 

just got done with mediation.  we've had temp orders in place for 5 months, her with 60% custody.  i asked for 50%, and she walked out.  her attorney notified me that they have been planning to ask for my temp orders to be LESSENED.  to approximately 30% for me, 70% with her.  basically standard tx visitation.   rediculous.   she just walked out after 1 hr.

is this possible?  no history of violence.... just got her psych report and it shows her to have PTSD, emotional distress, problems trusting all men, anxiety issues, and more.  mine is 100% clean.   is it possible that we will go to the final hearing (which is only about custody... all property is split already) and the judge to order standard visitation when i already have more than that? 

what other types of info can i bring to light to show that i am the better parent?  i go to EVERY school event... every soccer game... i have TRIED AND TRIED to attend their counseling sessions, but my ex gave a letter to the counselor stating I am not to attend (she got slapped on the wrist for this). 

I have e mails where she writes telling me that the kids aren't important to me, etc etc.  i have NEVER done anything like that to her. 

I don't know what to do here.  I know the system is skewed in the favor of mom's, and i feel helpless.  My attorney was caught completely off guard by this mediation session. 

HELP!

Hello everyone.

I'm a dad of 2.  Been going through divorce for 7 months now.  Background:  I filed for divorce after wife took kids and moved out with no notice.  refused at first to let me see kids.  My lawyer and hers hashed out an extended visitation schedule, and we have temp orders in place, but i'm not 100% happy with them.  we have joint physical and legal.  she has about 60% of time, i have 40%.  A bit of alienation on her part has been occurring. She has sent letters to doctors, counselors, etc, stating that because she is the primary custodian, they are not to share appointment times, etc with me so i can attend.  refuses to let kids call me sometimes.  signs kids up for activities that occur on MY parenting time, which are impossible for me to take them to because of prior scheduled events, so the kids get upset with me. it's a long story. 

anyways, what i really am wondering is what to expect in mediation.  at first she refused to go.  then, after it was scheduled to go before a judge, she agreed (because the judge would order it anyways).  thing is, we requested a half day, and she actually requested a FULL day.  SHE submitted a proposed division of assets and liabilities with the court, and she wants NOTHING than what she already has.  no money, NOTHING.  left me the house, and everything in it.  She took one car (which has debt, that SHE wants) and her clothing.  She has since bought a house, and furnished it.  I can't imagine what to expect in mediation.  Ideally, I would like 50% of the time with my kids.  I'm currently paying all daycare costs, and some CS, which is lower than what would be ordered by the court, but she agreed to it in the temp orders. 

How does the mediation work?  should i be asking for more than what i actually want, so we can "haggle down" and agree to something?  I hate the idea of that.  I have been fair through all of this, and i do not want to take my children from her... I only want what I believe is right, and fair to the children AND us as parents. 

And advice is appreciated.

thanks for the response.

She moved out and for the first 2-3 months after i filed for divorce she was living with her grandparents in town.  In november she purchased a house that is literally 2-3 miles from me.  I live within 500 yds of their school, but she is in a different district now.

yes, they have their own bedrooms, but the house is tiny.  not in the greatest neighborhood either. 

my big worry is that since the status quo has already been established, that the judge will not change anything if it goes that far.  we are scheduled for mediation in a couple weeks, but i have no idea what to expect.  from what i've found out, she's already filed a proposed division of assets and liabilities with the courts and it appears that she doesn't want ANYTHING else.  she got a bunch of stuff a couple months ago, but really not much. 

at first she didn't want to go to mediation, and we were scheduled to go to court on a mediation hearing.  (basically to tell us to go to mediation) and then a couple weeks later i find out her lawyer accepted it. 

all i want is 50/50 with me as the primary.  i'll keep paying her what we already have agreed upon... i have no problem with that. 
i just want to see my kids an equal amount of time.  they keep asking "when do we get to stay with you 6 days daddy?" and they get reall yupset.  This morning was my last day of the weekend with them, and when i dropped them off at school my daughter was crying.  I asked what was wrong and she said "i'm going to miss you daddy and i want to stay one more day at your house". 

The kids are seeing it...  I do whatever i can to avoid conversations with them about time split, but they ask ALL the time.

In september 2010, i filed for divorce after my wife came home from work, packed her bags, took our kids, and left.  no abuse, nothing like that.  i called police after she said she was leaving with the kids, and they allowed her to take them as there was nothing yet filed.  The next day i filed for divorce, and requested temporary custody of my kids. 

a few days later, a rule 11 agreement was filed that gave me the kids for the weekend.  Nothing else was stated in the agreement.  Our attorneys were thinking we'd come to a temporary agreement by the following monday, which didn't happen. 
She began refusing me time to see the kids stating that "the rule 11 agreement only gave you that weekend with the kids, nothing else... i have full custody".   long story short, with no agreement in place, nothing could be done.  so, reluctantly, about a week later i signed a temporary agreement.  it split time about 60/40 in her favor, and i'm paying support, she is primary. 

been waiting for 5 months for ANYTHING to happen.  Ended up firing my lawyer for not doing his job, and hired a new one.  mediation is now set for the end of this month.  old lawyer never even requested it, even after my REPEATED requests.

I'm trying to establish ANYTHING i can use in my favor to get me noted as primary, and try to get 50/50 time with my kids.  I would like primary as i have been the primary caretaker of my kids, and I live in their school district.  she moved to another district, and the district will make them change schools based on our decree.  if she won't agree to that, i'd like to reverse the temporary orders in my favor.  NOTHING to do with child support.  i have no problem continuing to pay her what we agreed to.

I have a list of some items, including her failure to notify me of things, consulting about extracurricular activities that are on MY parenting time, notifying me of counseling sessions going on with the kids, etc.  not much to stand on right now, besides her unwilingness to co-parent with me. 

Just now I tried to contact the kid's counselor for an update on their sessions, which i had been included in on in the past.  we were rotating bringing the kids to their sessions.  all of a sudden it stopped, so i called the counselor for an update.  She stated that she had received a letter from my stbx's attorney stating that i am not to be included in their sessions anymore.  I informed her of my court order stating i have the right to consult doctors, etc, and she finally agreed to let me "see their folders", but said i was "blowing this out of proportion".  REALLY???  my kids are seeing a counselor and i want to know why.   

anyways, i'm just wanting any input on things that i should be noting, or bringing into the mediation setting that may help me out.