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Thank you both for your input. We will definitely be pursuing those options.

Kitty C.- I have had friends that asked their bm/bd to go to down to the court and they went.  They got everything straight and haven't had any problems. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part, that things would be that easy for us.

My husband and I have been married for almost a year now(been together for over 2yrs) and he has 2 children (2 different mothers).  We are having some difficulty with both mothers.

First, there is my 5 year old stepson.  He has lived with my husband since he was born (except for about one month when he was 4 or 5 months old).  The mother refuses to give my husband custody and does not have him on the birth certificate.  She DOES NOT provide any type of support for my stepson.  She rarely sees or calls my stepson.  On the rare occassion that she does ask to see him, she doesn't keep him for long.  She is usually calling the next day for us to come pick him up.  My husband has asked her several times to come to family court with us to file the custody paperwork and she refuses.  She feels like that is giving up her rights as the mother.  As I have stated to her, that is not the case.  We have told her that we need this paperwork to be able to enroll my stepson in school and most importantly, to get him emergency medical treatment if necessary.  Without that paperwork, a hospital will only stablize him until his custodial parent or legal guardian gives authorization for anything else.  After hearing all of that, she still refuses and has the audacity to ask, "When are you going to enroll him in school? Because he needs to be in school."  She doesn't want to pay child support (because she doesn't have a job) and she just doesn't want the responsibility of raising this child.  She sends nothing for his birthday, Christmas or any other time.


Second, there is my 3 year old stepdaughter.  My husband did not know that this child was his until last year.  He knew that the mother was pregnant, but she told him that the baby was not his child.  When we found out, I devastated (I'm sure he was too), since this woman is his father's cousin's daughter (his 3rd cousin).  Nonetheless, the child is here and we have to deal with it.  The mother doesn't give my husband  the visitation that works for both parties.  She only wants him to see his daughter when it's suitable for her.  She makes EVERYTHING difficult.  She doesn't want to accept the amount of money that we can afford to send for child support.  We have also asked her to come to family court to file visitation and she refuses.


PLEASE, give me some advice on how to deal with these situations without things getting messy.