Let me start by saying that I will not mention the name of the man who I have spent many years with who has absolutely broken my heart and now muses with repeatedly shattering every shard of it. While I appreciate the advice that was given to him (YES I spy on him, and It is my RIGHT in this country to defend myself) I snooped in his computer which led me to this site. I read his NASTY SLANDEROUS POSTS about me. I am here and I plan to stay because I will not be treated this way. The man is a returning member from years ago. You folks mean well, however you have only heard HIS side of all of this. While I know this site isnt a marriage counseling service, I am peeved beyond belief at the advice some have given him without thinkin logicly that you are only hearing one side so here goes.......His user name or first name I will not disclose, however, BAHNUM, if you read this I want you to know I am here. I want these folks to see that you and I BOTH have issues. And that your constant ranting about how I bring up our marital problems every time My mental health is in question, I want you people to know the things he has NOT mentioned, like the fact that I was clean on suboxone therapy for nearly 3 years, I'm not a junkie.....junkies shoot heroin and get so high on pills they nod the hell out. Thats NEVER EVER BEEN ME! I bring up the marital problems because they are part of the reason I used to begin with. I was addicted to pain pills and went to get help. Of course that help cost him precious money he didnt like that so I then went to hiding my suboxone therapy from him and getting those off friends rather than a doctor. While that is illegal, it was the only way I was staying clean. So recently we had a huge fight and he returned here putting me on blast to total strangers.
I cannot get him to see that part of the reason I was using was him. I used because he had expectations of me that physically and mentally I wasn not able to to. I have fibromyalgia and 2 forms of arthritis, Additionally I am exhausted all the time. No matter if I sit home all day or run some place, I am still lazy and no good. THeres so much confusion here and so much pain in my heart that I have attempted suicide recently. Expectations from socitely, pressure from him, depression, severre bipolar disorder, the list goes on as to what got me started with pain meds. I have since been to rehab and detox. I am sober right now, but I intend to go back to suboxone. at least until I find out what causes my exhaustion. This will make him furious. At this point I do not care. Its about me and what I need.
Furthermore you who answered his posts in the fathers custody issues section need to get to kno both sides of a story brfore telling him that he needs to get rid of me, and that I am no good etc etc I am quite angry with this group and considering consulting an attorney to see what needs done because what he said and some of the members comments are slander and defamation of charachter as well as harassment. I will not stand for this. I hope those of you who figure this out start talking and fast here because I am on the edge right now.
For your information while he was driving truck and I was using I did so because we have 3 children one with ADHD and ODD who is difficult. i Needed that extra oomph to get thru it. Now, I will start dropping hints follow this post. More tomorrow.
Sincerely
Suicidal BITCHZILLA