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Thanks for everyone's thoughts.  Sometimes you just need to hear it.  I think bottom line is I just miss my daughter tremendously when she is gone. 

I am from NJ but got married and moved to FL.  We were married 7 years and had one daughter.  We divorced and I moved back home to NJ with my family and obtained physical custody of my daughter with shared parental rights.  He didn't ask me or my daughter to stay and let us leave the State.  His visitation schedule is up to 8 weeks in the Summer, half of winter recess (alternating xmas/new years) and Spring Break.  We have been divorced since 2002 when our daughter turned 2.  For the first 8 years, he took our daughter very infrequently - a long weekend in the Summer up to 2 weeks in the Summer, sometimes skipped xmas visits and only once took her for Easter Break.  Then, when I remarried and moved to South Jersey and bought a new house and she was starting 3rd grade two years ago, he decided he wanted her for 8 weeks in the Summer.  Because the agreement says he can despite his past record of infrequent visits, I had to let her go.  Now, that our daughter is 11, she doesn't want to go in the Summers for long periods...she has friends and activities and wants to go only 4 or 5 weeks.  Do I have a leg to stand on to revisit this in Court?  He goes months without calling her at times.  Every time she comes back from visiting him, there are issues - severe sunburn, pink eye, earring holes severly infected, didn't shower for several days.  I feel like he is just taking her now to get back and me b/c my life has turned around versus wanting to see his daughter.  I want my daughter to know him and be involved but not to the point where it affects her life here with her friends and life.  She is getting older now so he probably takes her more b/c she can take care of herself.  My heart breaks every time she goes.  I never thought my life would turn out like this.  I had a daughter b/c I want to be there for her always.  I can't imagine how he can just let us go, never really see her for years by his own choice and then suddenly want her more but only to get back at me.  I wonder if there is anything I can do.  I don't want to go back and fight or risk losing my daughter in any way but I feel like it's not fair to her as she gets older to have this situation over her head and be away for such long periods in the Summer.  Plus, we will never be able to take a family vacation or do anything if I never have a time with her when she is off from school available to me to do a vacation, etc.

Any advice is helpful  Appreciate you taking the time to read this.