Hey, I'm new here.
After reading a lot about mediation and shared custody agreements, I'm developing my plan for going into mediation. The child is a little over 6 months old and I live out of state (~250 miles away) with my wife. The mother has previously stated that she doesn't want me involved at all in "her" daughter's life (besides pay checks of course), and has been extremely unreasonable in the last six months. She's very unrealistic and is typically only concerned with getting what she wants, not what's best for the child.
I'd like to ask for 50/50 physical and am preparing a list of concessions to try and smooth that request over. I'd like to rebut her possessiveness by addressing her concerns and giving her more freedom than the court would. I've read that I need to come prepared to be calm, reasonable, flexible, and of course have the best interests of the child in mind; all things I doubt she will do. So far, I've got a few things I'm planning to concede to her in order to try to get 50/50 physical custody:
1. I'll drive the full distance to pick up and drop off child (obviously)
2. I'd prefer a two week - two week custody schedule, but may be willing to do one week - one week (meaning lots of driving).
3. Give all holidays to the mother (as long as it's still 50/50 over the year)
4. Allowing for a 6 month phase in process where I only have physical custody for short but increasing periods at a time, eventually building to 50/50
5. I'll attend parenting classes at my expense
6. I'll allow her visitation at my house (out of state) during the first 4 months of 50/50 physical custody.
7. Allow her to call during my physical custody at any reasonable time
8. Reiterate my promise not to say anything negative about her in front of the child, ever.
Any other suggestions?!!?! I'd especially like to hear from mothers regarding their typical concerns against shared physical custody. I'm dealing with a very possessive, borderline personality disorder mother who thinks I'm the devil on earth. I'd like to prove her wrong!!
After reading a lot about mediation and shared custody agreements, I'm developing my plan for going into mediation. The child is a little over 6 months old and I live out of state (~250 miles away) with my wife. The mother has previously stated that she doesn't want me involved at all in "her" daughter's life (besides pay checks of course), and has been extremely unreasonable in the last six months. She's very unrealistic and is typically only concerned with getting what she wants, not what's best for the child.
I'd like to ask for 50/50 physical and am preparing a list of concessions to try and smooth that request over. I'd like to rebut her possessiveness by addressing her concerns and giving her more freedom than the court would. I've read that I need to come prepared to be calm, reasonable, flexible, and of course have the best interests of the child in mind; all things I doubt she will do. So far, I've got a few things I'm planning to concede to her in order to try to get 50/50 physical custody:
1. I'll drive the full distance to pick up and drop off child (obviously)
2. I'd prefer a two week - two week custody schedule, but may be willing to do one week - one week (meaning lots of driving).
3. Give all holidays to the mother (as long as it's still 50/50 over the year)
4. Allowing for a 6 month phase in process where I only have physical custody for short but increasing periods at a time, eventually building to 50/50
5. I'll attend parenting classes at my expense
6. I'll allow her visitation at my house (out of state) during the first 4 months of 50/50 physical custody.
7. Allow her to call during my physical custody at any reasonable time
8. Reiterate my promise not to say anything negative about her in front of the child, ever.
Any other suggestions?!!?! I'd especially like to hear from mothers regarding their typical concerns against shared physical custody. I'm dealing with a very possessive, borderline personality disorder mother who thinks I'm the devil on earth. I'd like to prove her wrong!!