I am new here, but I am hoping that someone might be able to provide some insight and/or expertise on the situation that my husband in currently in and looking to work out.
Here is a bit of background: My husband and ex's divorce was finalized in 5/06 (Florida). At the time, husband's job gave him Fri/Sat off from work. For this reason, the visitation scheduled with the his two boys (then 2 and 7) was set for every Friday 5 pm- Sat. pm. and "all other times mutually agreed upon by the parties". In Sept of '06, he obtained a new position with traditional weekends off. At that time, ex stated that she was "overwhelmed" with both children and they shifted to a every weekend visitation schedule (Friday 5pm- Sunday 12pm) so that the children would be with him more. While never put into writing, this visitation has been the status quo since Sept 2006 and still continues today.
5 years later the relationship between my husband and his ex is continuing to be come increasing contentious...she hids her cell phone so kids can not call father, changed child's school without husband knowledge or consent, consistently bad mouths father and myself, denies tickets for special events (5th grade graduation, plays) and has even made his ringtone on her phone inappropriate...there is enough document that I almost feel he could attempt parent alienation. However, that is a bigger battle and not what we are looking to attempt at this time.
The bigger issue is that there is no holiday/summer schedule. In the past we have worked this out, but this is becoming increasing impossible. Last year we only had 2 holidays with the children (Fathers Day and Thanksgiving...this only came after a huge battle) and she took the children out of the country to visit family in Canada for all of Christmas break, resulting in us celebrating Christmas on 1/4. It is impossible for us to plan family holidays or vacations. We are at her mercy and truly only get her leftovers. Additionally, his ex is becoming more and more resentful of the children's strong relationship with their father (and me), as the 12 year old is now requesting to live full time. Now that the children are getting older, she has also seemed to be less inclined to let them have additional time with us (which in the past she would have allowed) and rather will take them and send them to a friends for a sleep over in school holidays/teacher work days. She actually left the 12 year old home alone that past three days, while she was at work, rather than have him stay with us as he wanted too (my husband works, but I work from home.) It would appear that her hatred for us is almost beginning to impact her ability to make the best decisions for the children.
We have proposed implementing a holiday schedule multiple times (and this is document in email) and she has continually denied these requests. She has threatened that if we want a traditional holiday schedule then he will get a "traditional visitation schedule of EO weekend and nothing more'. We really want to file a motion to modify the current agreement to make it reflective of the current status quo for the past 5 years and include a holiday schedule. We would also like some time written in about summer visitation which is not addressed...we would like to have a month with the boys. In the past we have gotten some time, but it is always short notice and when it works for her. We can not plan a vacation or trips with the children as we never know whether we will truly have them.
My questions would be...is there anyway that if we go to modify the current agreement, that we could lose the every weekend visitation, despite the fact that this has been in place for 5 years? We had the children a total of 29% last year (even without summer visitation and schools vacations). Due to new legislation in Florida, there is also an impact on child support as now if children are with 2nd parent for more than 20% of the time there is an eligible substantial contact credit. I am sure that his ex is going to freak out about this when she learns of it. My husband is not seeking this change because of the money (it is truly about a holiday schedule), but I did want to bring it up as this is going to push his ex to fight hard to prevent putting our current arrangement in writing
Please know that any insight or direction you can provide would be greatly appreciated!
Here is a bit of background: My husband and ex's divorce was finalized in 5/06 (Florida). At the time, husband's job gave him Fri/Sat off from work. For this reason, the visitation scheduled with the his two boys (then 2 and 7) was set for every Friday 5 pm- Sat. pm. and "all other times mutually agreed upon by the parties". In Sept of '06, he obtained a new position with traditional weekends off. At that time, ex stated that she was "overwhelmed" with both children and they shifted to a every weekend visitation schedule (Friday 5pm- Sunday 12pm) so that the children would be with him more. While never put into writing, this visitation has been the status quo since Sept 2006 and still continues today.
5 years later the relationship between my husband and his ex is continuing to be come increasing contentious...she hids her cell phone so kids can not call father, changed child's school without husband knowledge or consent, consistently bad mouths father and myself, denies tickets for special events (5th grade graduation, plays) and has even made his ringtone on her phone inappropriate...there is enough document that I almost feel he could attempt parent alienation. However, that is a bigger battle and not what we are looking to attempt at this time.
The bigger issue is that there is no holiday/summer schedule. In the past we have worked this out, but this is becoming increasing impossible. Last year we only had 2 holidays with the children (Fathers Day and Thanksgiving...this only came after a huge battle) and she took the children out of the country to visit family in Canada for all of Christmas break, resulting in us celebrating Christmas on 1/4. It is impossible for us to plan family holidays or vacations. We are at her mercy and truly only get her leftovers. Additionally, his ex is becoming more and more resentful of the children's strong relationship with their father (and me), as the 12 year old is now requesting to live full time. Now that the children are getting older, she has also seemed to be less inclined to let them have additional time with us (which in the past she would have allowed) and rather will take them and send them to a friends for a sleep over in school holidays/teacher work days. She actually left the 12 year old home alone that past three days, while she was at work, rather than have him stay with us as he wanted too (my husband works, but I work from home.) It would appear that her hatred for us is almost beginning to impact her ability to make the best decisions for the children.
We have proposed implementing a holiday schedule multiple times (and this is document in email) and she has continually denied these requests. She has threatened that if we want a traditional holiday schedule then he will get a "traditional visitation schedule of EO weekend and nothing more'. We really want to file a motion to modify the current agreement to make it reflective of the current status quo for the past 5 years and include a holiday schedule. We would also like some time written in about summer visitation which is not addressed...we would like to have a month with the boys. In the past we have gotten some time, but it is always short notice and when it works for her. We can not plan a vacation or trips with the children as we never know whether we will truly have them.
My questions would be...is there anyway that if we go to modify the current agreement, that we could lose the every weekend visitation, despite the fact that this has been in place for 5 years? We had the children a total of 29% last year (even without summer visitation and schools vacations). Due to new legislation in Florida, there is also an impact on child support as now if children are with 2nd parent for more than 20% of the time there is an eligible substantial contact credit. I am sure that his ex is going to freak out about this when she learns of it. My husband is not seeking this change because of the money (it is truly about a holiday schedule), but I did want to bring it up as this is going to push his ex to fight hard to prevent putting our current arrangement in writing
Please know that any insight or direction you can provide would be greatly appreciated!