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At this time and date money is tight for everyone due to the economy .. However, speaking from personal experience going into court proceedings without an attorney was an absolute nightmare for me!! I will elaborate .. My ex took me to court to modify custody of our two girls, the oldest at the time was 16yrs of age and she decided that she no longer wanted to follow the rules of my home and being as her father had "no rules" she wanted to live with her father.

My ex stopped paying child support for 8 months and hired an attorney. I was unable to afford an attorney as my income was only enough to keep mortgage paid, household expenses up while raising our daughters.

Anyways, our youngest daughter wanted to stay with me while the oldest wanted to live with her father. Prior to our court date, my ex assured me that I had nothing to worry about that he had changed his mind and decided against wanting custody. As did my oldest, needless to say on the court date and in the court room everything changed. I found myself in the middle of an absolute nightmare (of which I still exist in). My oldest told the judge that she didn't want to live with me and that she wanted to live with her father.

The judge ultimately granted my ex custody of our two daughters. Mind you the youngest was adament as it states in the legal papers that she did not want to live with her father, the judge went against her wishes stating that he did not want to seperate the girls. It didn't matter that ex was behind in child support, was working 3rd shift and would not be with the girls from 6pm-7am and lived two counties away!

I apologize, I seemed to have gotten a little carried away .. Basically, my point is this even if you and your ex agree prior to court proceedings things might be changed on you once actually in the court room. It's excellent that you have some legal knowledge (in my case I thought "common knowledge" was enough) I feel it most important that you do seek legal representation. Perhaps, explaining your financial situation offering to make payments etc.

I can't help but wonder if today's judges frown upon those that enter a court room without representation sure seems to have been the case in my situation .. ex appeared with an attorney and I couldn't afford one .. now I look back and think to myself "how could I have afforded not too".

I wish you the best of luck along your journey and I hope you receive all that you seek! It's important for children to have both parents active in their life, hopefully you and your ex will be able to work together for the better well being of your children.

Hoping perhaps that someone on this forum may help me in my search for legal representation. My son started talking about moving in with me on/off now for over a year. When he first mentioned this I asked him about his thoughts and his reasoning behind this decision (mind you I was extremely excited and quite full of joy) making sure that he hadn't been involved in some type of argument with his BM/SD as children sometimes spout off wanting to live with the other parent to hurt the one they are upset with. Also, making sure that there wasn't something of a serious nature going on. I discussed with him that he really needed to think through a decision such as that and I as his father would be supportive of that decision and if that is what he wanted then we would discuss it with his mom. This summer my son became quite serious and really pushing for this to take place. So, I approached his mother about what our son's wishes were (are) and she stated that she would need to think about things and that she needed to talk with our son alone and her husband and other family members. Shortly after approaching her, and when our son was out of my care and back in her home she took his cell phone (which ended contact with me) and along with her husband gave our son a 2 1/2 hour questioning/lecture about why he wanted to live with me, and let him know that they would not "allow" that to happen. They also told him that they would hire the best attorneys money could buy and really hurt me (financially). They proceeded to tell him that I couldn't afford the luxuries that they can provide to him and that their home was half million dollar home compared to my home which they called a dump. He was told that the brand new Mustang they purchased him would be sold .. and finally as if that wasn't enough they told him that his half brother and sister would no longer have anything to do with him.

As you can see, it's important that I try an obtain a solid attorney with the threat being made that she will come at me hard and hurt me financially. I feel for my son being threatend in such a manner by his BM and SD. I lay awake at night worrying what he must be feeling and thinking. This is a decision that he has came to on his own and I want to be able to give him what he desires however, I don't want him to continuously be harmed mentally by the threats of his BM/SD.

Sorry for the long post, any advice that can be offered or recommendations I would greatly appreciate them.

*** SEEKING GOOD LEGAL TEAM NEAR OR AROUND DELAWARE, HENRY and MADISON COUNTIES*** TEAM WILLING TO TRAVEL TO HENRY COUNTY***

WoW .. Seriously, I'm so baffled and dumbfounded by the acts of bio mom's (not ALL) of which stoop to such low antics such as this .. As if the bio father should just do exactly what bio mom says b/c "SHE SAID SO" .. Most likely, bio mom is jealous of her (their) child's pic being posted on ex's/fiances FB. This obviously is rubbing her the wrong way quite possibly b/c it portrays a "FAMILY" .. 

Perhaps, it's a maturity level of which some just can't reach .. the way I see it .. In regards to "blended" families is that there are just that many MORE persons for the child(children) to have in his/her life .. more persons to love the children, to nurture & teach ... Life is short and each one of us of which find ourselves in blended familes must remember that none of us know when our life could end .. wouldn't it be a wonderful blessing to know that our child/children have numerous family members (even blended) to be there for them? So long as our child/children are not in harms way and the relationships that they make are positive ones, Does it really matter if it's blood family or blended?

To the person(s) that submitted this post .. You have been offered some great advice such as blocking on FB .. Also, with you being the fiance and soon to be wife seems to me that you are headed for a rocky road ahead of you if bio parent is already pulling stunts like this .. I wish you the best of luck and the greatest advice that I can give to you based on personal experience is to love the chld/children and treat him/her as you would had you birthed them. Never ever bad mouth the bio parents in front of the child(ren) and stand behind your fiance, take a step behind him and allow him to have conversations when need be with bio mom and let him do all the disciplining etc .. Best of luck and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!