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Went to court yesterday to violate ex and because I want to modify petition judge dismissed case without prejudice.  Ex is laughing at this thinking I lost completely.

I guess I don't uderstand..was it just formality or she dismissed it cause she thought there was nothing??

Is your daughter seeing a psychologist?  I ask because my children are..court ordered..and my children have both exhibited concerning behaviors and have expressed to thier doctor they want to see me more.  Coming from a "professional"'s word of mouth should be proof enough.

Good luck..it's horrible to not be able to protect your own children

Right now I am doing all I can do legally to get my kids back well at least 50/50 but how do you mentally/emotionally cope with not having your kids and missing out on things?

This is only from my experiance but my order also does state that I can have access to all of that..but even though I still had to fight for it because without him signing releases it didn't matter.  I finally went to the doctors with court order in hand and demanded they either get him to sign releases or give me on letter head stating that I cannot seek access because ex refuses to sign release as per court order.  They knew I meant business and the next visit they got him to sign it.

As far as back tracking goes..find out thier last doctor and ask where the files were forwarded to.

Thank you for your reply.  I dont have supervised visits he just threatens me that he will take me to court next for that.

Currently I have them ebery other weekend, vacations and holidays alternate..."quite favorable" amount of time..so I'm told

I was indicated 1 time for unsupervised time out..they said I cant put him in time out and walk away for a few minutes..kids were 5 and 4 at the time.  I personally didn't think I was really doing anything wrong but if they said it was wrong I stopped.  He has since then filed 4 more and they have all come back unfounded.

I too was shocked that he got custody, after all the things he openly admitted to doing, the children's law guardian agreeing with me to dismiss the case, none of his witnesses proving anything, a lincoln hearing with the kids and them saying they want to live with both parents, and still the "judges" hand were tied and he had to make a decision and so he based it on the fact that dad took kids to appointments that year and mom didnt and they dont get along.

I have been going through this process now for 3 years, divorced for 2 years and lost custody of my 2 children 6 months ago.  I have been searching and searching for not only help but other moms like me going thru the same thing cause NOBODY I know has gone thru this before.

I'm in NY...anyone else??

Well here's the jist of my story...

Married for 8 years and two children was a stay at home mom and ran a very successful daycare.  When I wanted a divorce Dad willingly moved out of home for 10 weeks, got an attorney and then moved back in when he realized I really wasn't taking him back this time.  He filed for divorce first because he had money for his attorney (which he borrowed from his 401 illegally and against court order) and I basically gave up EVERYTHING for him to sign off on joint custody and NO SUPPORT whatsoever.

This was for a year and he did EVERYTHING nasty and pure evil to me and to the kids, as a matter of fact his words were "Your punishment will be losing the only thing that matters to you..the kids", like calling in so many cps reports on me in wasn't even funny, calling cops on me, eraing my infor from school records, making appointment for kids and not notifying me or switching thier doctor all together and refusing to tell me, calling me unfit because our daughter had 2 yeast infections over the course of 1 year, making me lose one job and trying to do it again at the second job and repeadetly violating custody agreement.

Next thing I know I'm being served again and he is seeking full custody.  I was never proven UNFIT but he still got custody..judge said that because I missed appointments I acted like a non custodial parent and that becasue relations between ex and I are so bad (well yeah when they abuse you) that he would be the better parent to facilitate a relationship between children and me (what a joke).

Since then (6 months) he has continued to be worse, violate, not let me see or speak to kids or without serious threats, and now threatenes me all the time if I don't do what he says he'll keep taking me back to court and this time I'll only get supervised visits.

I'm in the process of both violating him and appealing custody order but funds is always an issue for me.  He by no means is rich, but he seems to just have enough to keep taking me back to court, and I'm not even doing anything wrong nor violating anything.

Needless to say I'm exhausted and this has only just begun...I will take all the wisdom, experience, advice..anything anyone has to offer.  I need help and I want to do the best I can for my kids!!

Very Sincerely...

Divorced Diva