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No one including adults wants to move around when sick.

Most illness doesnt require drs visit and thus no note. Would you really want your sick kid taken to a germy clinic to catch something else?

Try to separate needs of kid from attitude and lack of cooperation from x and her family.

As said, dont argue. It wont help your relationship w kid if you are standing there saying wasnt REALLY sick. You wouldnt like that. Its antagonistic - to KID - you dont want to sound like that, right?

Limit communications and focus in your relationship w kid, when in contact. Communicate w drs directly and dont use info as cause to argue  w x or x family.

If you already have custoxy why is this coming up? Is x trying to get time?

If so, stop referring to her as "bpd". Disrespectful and you just said that she has a more recent dx which was treated more successfully.

Grandiose is a symptom of bipolarvand, if appropriate, can be explained as such.

The issue seems tobe how to coordinate safe contact bbetween mom amd child. Grandiose is not unsafe. Yes, shared custody is disruptive and complicated, in the best of circumstances (dont get me started) but kids should know ther parents.

The only way you have a legitimate right to review her med records is if she, say, drives drunk, ot stays out with kid all night. Doesnt sound like shes had a chancd to do that, in a long time.

Her involvement would be a big adjustment for all. Try to see it from pov of what is, long term, best for child. Dont try to punish mom for mental illness, dont mischaracterize mental illness, mental illness doesnt mean a parent cant parent --after all, your h chose to be with and reproduce with his ex and you say these issues existed then.

Severity of mental illness doesnt change just because people fall out of love. I know its frustrating but try to be as neutral about this issue as possible.

At the very least, rationality gives you practice in dealing w mom and will look great in ct. Good luck.

Im new and dont want to misstep, but heres what I think.

You sound logical to me. It sounds like you are on assistance but x and you use that assistance. If so, x is NOT capable of supporting ds on his own. Also, you report he wont share details of his plans to care for ds -- thats not a good sign for the future. Its hard to coparent without clear and spontaneous communication.

If x is already refusing to communicate very important info he is either not willing to communicate or not willing to share his plans or he has no plans.

You have a plan. You do not have a ct ordered arrangement so it is unlikely you will be stuck with either a big fight or transport costs. It would be different if you had an ordered plan that you needed a judge to approve but you dont seem to be saying that. Right now, you can make this decision without so many comp,ications. Make sure you do so ethically and rationally.

Again, no matter how valuable both parents are, they need to share info and communicate. If hes not that leaves you with tough decisions. Id see a lawyer and find out yout rights.

Where will you stay in town? Do you both have reliable transport for travel? How well does ds already know your family? How well do you get along with them? Why did you move away?

Jusr issues to consider. Good luck.