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You are a cruel and heartless man!!

Actually, I'm a good person who made a huge mistake and am learning that trying to make my wife deal with this additional heartache isn't good for anyone. I am truly remorseful for what I've done and teeter on the edge of the abyss every day. The only reason I'm still alive is because my kids need their father.

The kids will be going to a new school and being uprooted because of what I've done, not because of my wife's unwillingness to be slapped in the face every time she walks on the school grounds.

Thanks to everyone for your input.

She is now saying that she doesn't want the kids to go the same school because they may hear about my affair with another parent at the school. I think the damage of switching from a small private school to a large public school would be more substantial than the potential of a rumor getting back to them.

No plans at this point for cohabitation. Down the road (years) if the test of time shows us that we are a good match, it may be a possibility.

Correct. Not one of my most proud moments.

[Has anyone else had a similar experience? Do you know if this could have any effect on "Moral Fitness" arguments?]

My paramour's SBTX snooped through her email yesterday and found some, um, "revealing" photos that we had sent to eachother some time ago.  He told my SBTX about the emails, but I don't think he forwarded them to anyone (hopefully) and am also hoping he doesn't spread the word to anyone else. I'm not really sure how this may affect the outcome of any custody hearings.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Do you know if this could have any effect on "Moral Fitness" arguments?

Yes, the photos were perhaps inappropriate, but sent privately between adults. I know the laws around snooping through a spouse's email are vague at best. Any insight would be helpful.

Thanks!

Thank you. No orders yet. I'm going to try to convince her one more time before I take that route.

Personal reasons, not the kids' best interest, has driven my SBTX to attempt to withdraw my children (8 and 11) from their life-time private school to a huge public school in a different school district. She would have to forge documents (lease, utility bills) to allow them to be admitted in the other school. The kids know about the divorce and would be devastated by having to change schools. They do know a couple of students in the new school, but I'm afraid that the stress of the divorce/living arrangements double with the trauma of changing schools would be too much for them to process all at once. She hasn't told them yet. She's waiting for the enrollment process at the new school to be complete. She wants to make me be the one to handle the enrollment, but I'm refusing.

The reason she doesn't want them to go to their current school is because I had an affair (not proud of it, but that's where it's at) and the paramour's children also attend the school. SBTX says that she'd be embarrassed to show her face at the school and refuses to be "put under a microscope" by other parents/faculty.

Truth is, I've spoken to many of the other parents and staff at the school and they all have been surprisingly supportive and non-judgmental, including the priest. SBTX has spoken to no one at the school except for the office manager.

Bottom line: I don't want my kids traumatized further. Is there any way to stop the transfer?

Thank you for your story, Kitty. That's what I'm SOOO afraid of. My kids would be crushed. I am a very active and involved father and I can feel their sadness when I have to take them back home after only being allowed to spend a few hours with them on her terms. I'm sure they would have severe anxiety/alienation issues if they were to move 700 miles away based solely on her anger and not their needs. She's a good  mom and this just seems so selfish of her and out of character.

My spouse and I have just been separated a couple of months and haven't even really gotten the divorce proceedings started. We just had a not-so-friendly meeting and she threatened to move the kids (8 and 11) out of state saying that we're still married and she's allowed to do that. At the same time, she says that she won't go for 50/50 custody because it would disturb their routine too much (she's already kicked me out of the house and pulled them out of their school of 4 and 6 years respectively). Contradictory, I know, but that's how she is. I don't know if moving the kids is an idle threat or not. My kids would be completely devastated. Should I get a TRO just in case? What do I do? She's starting to scare me.