Hello,
Just went thru custody eval & report will be in soon.
Ex is high conflict, told me in the past she was diagnosed w PD
ex decided to make unilateral decision and register the child for school. She mentioned it in passing at some point w the evaluator, more as a consideration. When asked if she spoke w me about it, ex said she had not. Next day I recieve message stating ex was happy to announce child was accepted into school she chose, emailing completed contract and welcome info from school. The next time I spoke w the evaluator, he assured me that it was mentioned as an option and ex never said it was done deal. Evaluator asked that I offer my options, visit the school, and try to speak to ex about options.
Ex agreed to consider other options, but never followed up. Ex is now saying she is keeping child in school, and paid tuition. She enrolled child for year on "her days", which could change since we are under a temporary order where she has more time with the child at this point as her attorney argues everything, and the typical maligning statements are submitted to the court (which are not true, we are awaiting trial to present rebuttal). The judge is requesting we try to work things out, ex refuses and her atty questioned my mental stability, requesting the evaluation. My atty asked me to be patient and respect the fact the judge is looking for cooperation at this time. Judge is very nice and has offered encouragement to settle some things, ex atty becomes agressive and begins discussing my issues (I have no issues other than slight anxiety/stress from accusations and fear. Ex has been hospitalized in past for addiction and mental health issues.
The evaluator has commented positively on my willingness to negotiate things like school, and the effort to both inform ex of my thoughts/invite her to visit school. Ex has shown other behaviors similiar to this that I went over w evaluator prior to school thing. I also visited the school of her choice and when I chose to visit w/out her she went in the day b4 my appointment and told the staff I was difficult and trying to hurt ruin opportunities for child. I was as pleasant as can be, and boy were they hostile at first. There were factors that given child's success w school, program was a huge contrast and would have been appropriate 2 years ago.
When evaluator makes comments that are positive in certain aspects of things like the school situation and other things that appear to validate concerns should I take it as an indication that this will reflect on the report. Could it be a type of ploy to give me a false positive sense.
Atty says evaluator was most likely providing prospective on things, and the report will reflect it. The questioning is a result of exes ability to convince others she is a victim. I have no ill feelings towards her, I just want the best arrangement for our child involving what i hope parallel parenting and anything that can be suggested to better the situation. If ex had her way, I would rarely see our child, and passive aggressively tells me at drs. Appts my say does not matter and my time will be cut. I stopped being angry with her, accepted the fact she has issues, and keep the faith along with meticulous documentation. Important thing is the child, so far I've been able to prevent further button pushing.
Thoughts on evaluator's positive comments, and how to interpret appreciated
Just went thru custody eval & report will be in soon.
Ex is high conflict, told me in the past she was diagnosed w PD
ex decided to make unilateral decision and register the child for school. She mentioned it in passing at some point w the evaluator, more as a consideration. When asked if she spoke w me about it, ex said she had not. Next day I recieve message stating ex was happy to announce child was accepted into school she chose, emailing completed contract and welcome info from school. The next time I spoke w the evaluator, he assured me that it was mentioned as an option and ex never said it was done deal. Evaluator asked that I offer my options, visit the school, and try to speak to ex about options.
Ex agreed to consider other options, but never followed up. Ex is now saying she is keeping child in school, and paid tuition. She enrolled child for year on "her days", which could change since we are under a temporary order where she has more time with the child at this point as her attorney argues everything, and the typical maligning statements are submitted to the court (which are not true, we are awaiting trial to present rebuttal). The judge is requesting we try to work things out, ex refuses and her atty questioned my mental stability, requesting the evaluation. My atty asked me to be patient and respect the fact the judge is looking for cooperation at this time. Judge is very nice and has offered encouragement to settle some things, ex atty becomes agressive and begins discussing my issues (I have no issues other than slight anxiety/stress from accusations and fear. Ex has been hospitalized in past for addiction and mental health issues.
The evaluator has commented positively on my willingness to negotiate things like school, and the effort to both inform ex of my thoughts/invite her to visit school. Ex has shown other behaviors similiar to this that I went over w evaluator prior to school thing. I also visited the school of her choice and when I chose to visit w/out her she went in the day b4 my appointment and told the staff I was difficult and trying to hurt ruin opportunities for child. I was as pleasant as can be, and boy were they hostile at first. There were factors that given child's success w school, program was a huge contrast and would have been appropriate 2 years ago.
When evaluator makes comments that are positive in certain aspects of things like the school situation and other things that appear to validate concerns should I take it as an indication that this will reflect on the report. Could it be a type of ploy to give me a false positive sense.
Atty says evaluator was most likely providing prospective on things, and the report will reflect it. The questioning is a result of exes ability to convince others she is a victim. I have no ill feelings towards her, I just want the best arrangement for our child involving what i hope parallel parenting and anything that can be suggested to better the situation. If ex had her way, I would rarely see our child, and passive aggressively tells me at drs. Appts my say does not matter and my time will be cut. I stopped being angry with her, accepted the fact she has issues, and keep the faith along with meticulous documentation. Important thing is the child, so far I've been able to prevent further button pushing.
Thoughts on evaluator's positive comments, and how to interpret appreciated