Messages

I've been trying to work with the other parent regarding the custody issues.  However, the other parent is nor clear on their choices, not is the other parent very cooperative at this point. I've always been the one to "give' in the custody issues to keep some peace.  However, no matter what I do or  how fair I am, I'm still just viewed and treated like a thorn in their side (to keep it PC), it did get noticeably worse once the other parent re-married.  Please understand, I don't hate the other parent, or have any ill will toward the other parent.  I'm just tired of watching my son suffer and have anxiety attacks the day before he has to leave to go back to their household.  Do you not agree that these following statements are a form or abuse?  The other parent has told our son to choose a household, because our son wanted too.  Our son did, then he was told by the other parent that as a consequence of his choice to live with me that they would make it their priority to keep him from going to school in the district he's been in since Kindergarten. This made my son have a panic attack.  Then they told my son after only one week of living with me (during the other parents time), that the other parent changed their mind and he can't live with me full time until we go back to court?  My son is 11, and this just confused him even more adding to his anxiety.  Then you add in the fact that the other parent has told our son he is not to have any contact with ME or his Grandparents or Aunts (on the other parents side, because they talk to me) while in the other parents household.  Again, this is not some pissing contest with the other parent (we were never married, or in love).  I have been extremely nice in signing off all back child support, giving (yes, giving) the other parent 50% custody in 2006 etc... only to have to fight them every time our son needs something involving finances, as the other parent always has an excuse why they can not pay for things, and especially on time.  Why should the other parent have 50% custody and not be responsible for 50% of the financial things?

Can I get an ex-parte due to excessive emotional and physiological abuse/stress?  If so, how quickly can I file and get into court?  Do I have to tell the respondent in advance that I'm filing?  I need to get my son out of this current situation ASAP. 

I think that the simple fact that my son is having panic attacks when it's time to return to his fathers home is enough reason to take emergency step's.  Let's also not forget that he told his Dad "sometimes I feel like I want to die".  Then you have the whole illegal issue of them telling him he is not allowed to have any contact with me while at their household, because it's disruptive.  However, in most cases where there was contact with my son.  It was him (my son) initiating the conversation.  They have also told him he can not have contact with his Grandparents, Aunt's and other family members while in "their household".  It's like a cult, or prison for him. 

My ex (never married) and I have shared custody of our son since 2004, revised in 2006, 50/50 both legal and physical, with many many hick-ups along the way.  Since our last court date we have both married and have another child in each household.  Our son is now 11 (almost 12) and has made it very clear to both his father and I that he wants to live at my household full time.  There have been many issues at his fathers household that have caused him to have anxiety attacks and a lot of emotional stress.  Most recently his father called me and told me that I'm not to have any contact with our son's grandparents (On his Dad's side of course).  He's also since told our son and his own Parents and Sisters that they can not contact each other while he is at their home, all because they "talk" to me.  They have also told me and my son that we are not to have any contact whatsoever while he is at their home?  I've recently been told that this of course is not only wrong, but completely illegal as well.  I've filed to go back to court for these issue and have Mediation in March, and court is not until April... in the mean time my son is having lot's of anxiety having to go back to his Fathers household.  Specially since his Dad told him he could choose which household he wanted to live at full time (because our son told him "sometimes he feels like dying), so he did.  He chose my household. Then his Dad told him because of his choice that he would not be allowed to continue at his school and he would make it his priority to see that he doesn't go to that school (since I don't live in that district), causing my son more anxiety and stress.  His Dad agreed to allow our son to live with us full time without going back to court.  He did this for only one week.  However, his Dad overheard a conversation my son and I had regarding the schooling situation and then changed his mind and said we'd have to go back to court before the change in custody.  Now my son will have to make this incredibly stressful choice all over again.   He's also stated that since this incident things with his Step Mother have been "strange" and the way she act's towards him (no physical harm, just mental and emotional) is hard for him.  His father is rarely home except on the weekends when he's not traveling for work, so he is left many times with only the Step Mother, Step sister, and half baby brother!  I was told to go file for an emergency ex-parte?  I do not have an attorney and am not sure where to go from here.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.  It's the worst feeling in the world when your son looks you in the face and says "I don't want to go back there, can't I just stay with you"... and you have to say "No, there's nothing I can do".