Thanks in advance for any help!
Quick backstory: Mom and I split 3 weeks after birth (never married). She is very bitter. He's now 2 months old, and neither of us have gone to an attorney (that I'm aware of), filed for child support, been to mediation, etc. Our son lives primarily with the mother (has slept all but one night with her since birth), but I see him regularly (6-10 hours during the day most days so mom can work - I work for myself), and really want 50/50 custody moving forward. Neither of us have paid a dime yet because he's on medicaid and we got a lot from baby showers - well, I paid for circumcision and some formula, and paid her rent once to be helpful. I don't want to screw the mom at all, and I believe she's a good mother to him, but she's always threatening to screw me, so I want to protect myself and my relationship with my son. She has threatened to move him to her parent's home (an hour away), threatened that I'll never see him if I don't live up to HER expectations, and most recently threatened to move him to California.
I don't need 50/50 right now if it's not in the child's best interest (she is breastfeeding exclusively if possible), but I don't want to be accommodating to the point that I screw myself. I've asked her multiple times to work on a parenting plan with me, and asked her to come with me to mediation to help in this regard. She refuses. I've asked her to at least make a schedule with me defining when each of us will have him. She refuses to put anything in writing, and will only discuss as far as one week out. I'm also trying to avoid spending a fortune on legal fees, which is why I keep asking her to agree to mediation. I know she has no money saved, so this will only benefit her, yet she refuses.
I've recently started keeping track of the times that we each have him during the week.
My main concern is getting 50/50 physical custody, because I really want to be involved heavily in his life, and I am emotionally, financially, and otherwise stable. So what can I do to help in this regard? Do I need to approach the court first? Is there something specific I need to file since she refuses to work on a parenting plan with me? Like I said, I'm ok with being flexible right now, but I don't want to be helpful only to have her serve me with child support documents and find out she's tried to take full custody.
Quick backstory: Mom and I split 3 weeks after birth (never married). She is very bitter. He's now 2 months old, and neither of us have gone to an attorney (that I'm aware of), filed for child support, been to mediation, etc. Our son lives primarily with the mother (has slept all but one night with her since birth), but I see him regularly (6-10 hours during the day most days so mom can work - I work for myself), and really want 50/50 custody moving forward. Neither of us have paid a dime yet because he's on medicaid and we got a lot from baby showers - well, I paid for circumcision and some formula, and paid her rent once to be helpful. I don't want to screw the mom at all, and I believe she's a good mother to him, but she's always threatening to screw me, so I want to protect myself and my relationship with my son. She has threatened to move him to her parent's home (an hour away), threatened that I'll never see him if I don't live up to HER expectations, and most recently threatened to move him to California.
I don't need 50/50 right now if it's not in the child's best interest (she is breastfeeding exclusively if possible), but I don't want to be accommodating to the point that I screw myself. I've asked her multiple times to work on a parenting plan with me, and asked her to come with me to mediation to help in this regard. She refuses. I've asked her to at least make a schedule with me defining when each of us will have him. She refuses to put anything in writing, and will only discuss as far as one week out. I'm also trying to avoid spending a fortune on legal fees, which is why I keep asking her to agree to mediation. I know she has no money saved, so this will only benefit her, yet she refuses.
I've recently started keeping track of the times that we each have him during the week.
My main concern is getting 50/50 physical custody, because I really want to be involved heavily in his life, and I am emotionally, financially, and otherwise stable. So what can I do to help in this regard? Do I need to approach the court first? Is there something specific I need to file since she refuses to work on a parenting plan with me? Like I said, I'm ok with being flexible right now, but I don't want to be helpful only to have her serve me with child support documents and find out she's tried to take full custody.