Hi, I have recently become a father (2 months ago) and am excited for what this will bring, but am currently experiencing an issue with the child's mother. The mother and I are not together, and do not live together or have a relationship. It has been this way long before the pregnancy, and will continue to be this way.
She took off work for maternity leave for the first six weeks after the birth, and her job will not resume for another couple of months, so she has been the primary caretaker of our child.
I have been able to have the kid about once-a-week but have made it clear that I want her much more often, but have yet to become combative and have not strongly contested her unwillingness to share the child. She will consistently use the reason (excuse?) that she is breast-feeding as the reason that I can't have our kid overnight or for an extended period of time. For the 8-10 hour stretches that I've had the kid, I've bottle-fed the baby milk that she pumped. We have sat and tried discussing terms of co-parenting, but she has been less than compromising, and seems to have a design for our kid and I won't have a say. I am thankful to see my child, but I don't think I should have to be a second-class parent, dependent on the mom's decisions.
I do truly believe that my child will have a better life the more I am able to be the parent. I've got better living conditions, more stable life, better support network, am better educated, and will be a very loving and attentive parent. I'm sure many parents feel that the kid would be better off with them, but I truly feel that I am not a downgrade to the life of my child and shouldn't be impeded when I want to care for my kid.
I guess this is a long-winded explanation (venting/exercise of figuring this out as I type) of my situation, but the basis of the post are these questions: 1. Would it be wise to file for custody now or wait until a certain age, to avoid the court ruling in the mother's favor due to the breast-feeding issues? I feel like I'm on a slippery slope that will lead to a pattern of her having almost all the time with the child, but I'm slightly hesitant to pull my child from a nursing mother. 2. If I file for primary custody, could this backfire and in any way preclude me from a 50/50 split? 3. Is there a way to get a ruling for custody, which could be revisited when the child is school-aged? I live inside a much better school district, and believe I will continue to.
Sorry for the lack of brevity in this post, and I hope if you've read this far you'd be willing to take another moment to give me any help, information, or advice. I'm clearly a bit confused and would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.
She took off work for maternity leave for the first six weeks after the birth, and her job will not resume for another couple of months, so she has been the primary caretaker of our child.
I have been able to have the kid about once-a-week but have made it clear that I want her much more often, but have yet to become combative and have not strongly contested her unwillingness to share the child. She will consistently use the reason (excuse?) that she is breast-feeding as the reason that I can't have our kid overnight or for an extended period of time. For the 8-10 hour stretches that I've had the kid, I've bottle-fed the baby milk that she pumped. We have sat and tried discussing terms of co-parenting, but she has been less than compromising, and seems to have a design for our kid and I won't have a say. I am thankful to see my child, but I don't think I should have to be a second-class parent, dependent on the mom's decisions.
I do truly believe that my child will have a better life the more I am able to be the parent. I've got better living conditions, more stable life, better support network, am better educated, and will be a very loving and attentive parent. I'm sure many parents feel that the kid would be better off with them, but I truly feel that I am not a downgrade to the life of my child and shouldn't be impeded when I want to care for my kid.
I guess this is a long-winded explanation (venting/exercise of figuring this out as I type) of my situation, but the basis of the post are these questions: 1. Would it be wise to file for custody now or wait until a certain age, to avoid the court ruling in the mother's favor due to the breast-feeding issues? I feel like I'm on a slippery slope that will lead to a pattern of her having almost all the time with the child, but I'm slightly hesitant to pull my child from a nursing mother. 2. If I file for primary custody, could this backfire and in any way preclude me from a 50/50 split? 3. Is there a way to get a ruling for custody, which could be revisited when the child is school-aged? I live inside a much better school district, and believe I will continue to.
Sorry for the lack of brevity in this post, and I hope if you've read this far you'd be willing to take another moment to give me any help, information, or advice. I'm clearly a bit confused and would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.