@MixedBags, yes, what is that site? I'm a father in that exact situation, I have recently posted a message in the "Father's Issues" forum about my daughter recently cutting her own wrists. Mom is a very high conflict person and definitely shown traits of bi-polar, borderline or narcissistic (or all of the above really), so I'm seeking all the resources I can before going back to court for my time with my daughters, I'm hoping to convince the judge and just need some help. Attorneys don't do anything for you except bill you it seems...
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Parenting Issues / Re: Cell Phones
Oct 04, 2013, 01:58:59 PM
Hmm, well me being a dad, have experienced this, but on the flip side. Mother has no house phone, only cell phone. In the past, I bought a cell phone for my 12 year old daughter, phone is restricted to call myself, mom, grandparents, emergency (911).
Cell phone was to be off during school hours so we never really had that problem, my daughter would turn it off during school, which is fine for all of us.
However, my ex-wife would take phone away as a way to punish my daughter at times (frequently and sometimes for weeks at a time). While doing so, the ex-wife doesn't answer my phone calls/return to messages to speak to my daughters. Or if she did, the response is "they're busy right now" or "they're outside playing right now" or "we're eating right now" or "I'll have them call you later" and I'd usually get no return call from them. Currently the phone is broke, so I have almost no contact with my daughters while they're at their moms.
I'd say, KIDS deserve the right to have access to both parents at all times, parents are divorced -- not the kids and parents, and just because the parents have different "custodial" time, that doesn't mean you stop being a parent and being available to your child. I get the whole thing when it's being abused, or in the instance of texting one parent to "pick up early" for no good reason, but really?
People need to put their pride aside, and do what's best FOR THE CHILD, that means, allow both parents to be parents. There are mothers out there with some serious pride issues (I'm sure fathers too) and believe that just because they're the PCP, that they get to call all the shots. I understand when one parent has some serious parenting inadequacies, but let's face, that goes on in marriages too.
Maybe this falls under some different email thread though, I don't know...
Cell phone was to be off during school hours so we never really had that problem, my daughter would turn it off during school, which is fine for all of us.
However, my ex-wife would take phone away as a way to punish my daughter at times (frequently and sometimes for weeks at a time). While doing so, the ex-wife doesn't answer my phone calls/return to messages to speak to my daughters. Or if she did, the response is "they're busy right now" or "they're outside playing right now" or "we're eating right now" or "I'll have them call you later" and I'd usually get no return call from them. Currently the phone is broke, so I have almost no contact with my daughters while they're at their moms.
I'd say, KIDS deserve the right to have access to both parents at all times, parents are divorced -- not the kids and parents, and just because the parents have different "custodial" time, that doesn't mean you stop being a parent and being available to your child. I get the whole thing when it's being abused, or in the instance of texting one parent to "pick up early" for no good reason, but really?
People need to put their pride aside, and do what's best FOR THE CHILD, that means, allow both parents to be parents. There are mothers out there with some serious pride issues (I'm sure fathers too) and believe that just because they're the PCP, that they get to call all the shots. I understand when one parent has some serious parenting inadequacies, but let's face, that goes on in marriages too.
Maybe this falls under some different email thread though, I don't know...
#3
Father's Issues / Daughter cut her wrists
Oct 03, 2013, 12:53:43 PM
Hi all,
I'm seeking some help, my daughter is 12 years old, she recently cut her wrists in what is believed to be a cry for help. She's very introverted so it's hard to say what's really eating her inside, I'm suspecting from what she's said to me that it's about it the relationship she has with her mother, as well as the fact mom & I don't have good communication. My daughter did say that her mom is all about her new relationship and spends pretty much all of her time with the guy ignoring the girls.
A little background: 2 daughters, ages 12 & 8, with mom Mon-Wed, me on Thurs (overnight) and every other weekend. Mother is in new relationship and my daughter told me that her mom is all about herself and her new boyfriend. Mom doesn't cooperate with me very well, frequently denies me access to the girls, I attempt to call daily but she'll ignore my phone calls or my requests via text messages to speak to the girls. She's also left me off of the emergency card while adding her new boyfriend on it instead. She doesn't communicate school/extracurricular activities very well, I go directly to school myself, however there are still important things to discuss regarding kids school activities and she'll just flat out ignore me. When we do talk, everything is a conflict with her, she yells, she calls me names (in front of girls too). Oh and last summer she was arrested for domestic battery for hitting me, which the court later deemed to be a one time event and not rising to the level of a change in circumstances (family law courts are so flawed -- or I didn't have a good enough attorney).
What I'm seeking: I want more time with the girls, I'm shooting for another day a week, so it'd be Wed/Thurs with me, mom can be with them Mon/Tues. I'm also wanting to get us into co-parenting therapy, I was going to file for an emergency hearing to get immediate therapy for my daughter, but was finally able to get mom to agree, so I didn't need the emergency hearing after all.
One thing I'm torn about is if I immediately file for a change in visitation or wait to go thru therapy first to see if we can resolve.
I know that my daughters would want and can benefit from having more time with me. My daughters are afraid enough of their mother not to really tell her how they feel, I believe that they're feelings are being suppressed. Mom has shown traits of either bipolar, borderline or narcissistic personality orders (or all of the above really).
Anyone have any tips/suggestions? This is in San Bernardino County (Southern California).
Thanks in advance...
D
I'm seeking some help, my daughter is 12 years old, she recently cut her wrists in what is believed to be a cry for help. She's very introverted so it's hard to say what's really eating her inside, I'm suspecting from what she's said to me that it's about it the relationship she has with her mother, as well as the fact mom & I don't have good communication. My daughter did say that her mom is all about her new relationship and spends pretty much all of her time with the guy ignoring the girls.
A little background: 2 daughters, ages 12 & 8, with mom Mon-Wed, me on Thurs (overnight) and every other weekend. Mother is in new relationship and my daughter told me that her mom is all about herself and her new boyfriend. Mom doesn't cooperate with me very well, frequently denies me access to the girls, I attempt to call daily but she'll ignore my phone calls or my requests via text messages to speak to the girls. She's also left me off of the emergency card while adding her new boyfriend on it instead. She doesn't communicate school/extracurricular activities very well, I go directly to school myself, however there are still important things to discuss regarding kids school activities and she'll just flat out ignore me. When we do talk, everything is a conflict with her, she yells, she calls me names (in front of girls too). Oh and last summer she was arrested for domestic battery for hitting me, which the court later deemed to be a one time event and not rising to the level of a change in circumstances (family law courts are so flawed -- or I didn't have a good enough attorney).
What I'm seeking: I want more time with the girls, I'm shooting for another day a week, so it'd be Wed/Thurs with me, mom can be with them Mon/Tues. I'm also wanting to get us into co-parenting therapy, I was going to file for an emergency hearing to get immediate therapy for my daughter, but was finally able to get mom to agree, so I didn't need the emergency hearing after all.
One thing I'm torn about is if I immediately file for a change in visitation or wait to go thru therapy first to see if we can resolve.
I know that my daughters would want and can benefit from having more time with me. My daughters are afraid enough of their mother not to really tell her how they feel, I believe that they're feelings are being suppressed. Mom has shown traits of either bipolar, borderline or narcissistic personality orders (or all of the above really).
Anyone have any tips/suggestions? This is in San Bernardino County (Southern California).
Thanks in advance...
D
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