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Follow court order and document exchanges when they do happen either having someone accompany you or video for proof.  Is she does not follow court order then she is in violation.  I would call the police and have it documented as well that you were denied visitation.  When I could rattle off the officer's name, number and a case number my EXX didn't stand a chance lying about refusing me visitation.

I was talking to D10 and she is going on a 2 week vacation with EXX.  They are going out of state and will be driving for quite some time.  D10 told me that she doesn't want to go because she doesn't feel comfortable in the car with EXX because he texts while he drives.

I know there is nothing that can be done about it until EXX gets caught someday.  What would you say to her to help comfort her? 

Sgt. Exlax did the same thing to me. 

FYI- We generally refer to our exes here as "ex" or STBX" or maybe by a first name. The whole "Sgt. Exlax" thing comes across as kind of petty and doesn't reflect well on you, to be honest. But you're free to refer to him how you choose.

By all means if this name offends anyone or isn't "norm" on these boards I will refrain from using it.  I do not feel comfortable using first names.  Please accept my sincerest apologies.

If this happened a few weeks/while ago, not sure, Maybe interview a few child counselors. Have child go to chose counselor to deal with family issues. This way there will be a an outside person to make the CPS call if needed.

If child told teacher/school staff they would be forced to call CPS.

I totally thought this was true too but sadly when my D10 was crying in school to her teacher that her babysitter was abusive and called her a bitch and her dad did nothing about it, the teachers did nothing about it and they didn't call cps like they are mandated to either

A total shame and injustice indeed!  I however am on the other side of the fence as I am the mother who lost custody to a father who won his way through court through lies, manipulation and money.  The children are the real victims in this all

Sgt. Exlax did the same thing to me.  In fact one year he replaced my information with his gf#1.  I brought it up in court and they could have cared less   Each new school year I have to go and fill out my own paperwork as well.  I also write a separate letter to the teachers giving them my information too.

This year Sgt. Exlax went as far as to throw my papers out.  My daughter told me and I had to email the teacher explain that the papers got thrown away and ask for new ones.  Never have I bashed Sgt. Exlax though.  It does eventually pay off.  And remember too that teachers talk to each other.  Let's just say that my D9's 3rd grade teacher found out first hand what a psycho Sgt. Exlax really was and forewarned D10's 4th grade teacher.

Last year when S11 got sunburned (so bad he had blisters) I called my lawyer for advice on what to do (not how to treat the burn) and that's what he told me to do, send sunscreen back with them and educate kids on how to use it and when.  Long story short Sgt. Exlax threw it at me and then called the cops on my husband and tried to have him arrested, lied and said he was irate and almost ran a kid over.

This time around I explained to S11 that unless he is just running from house to car or car to building he needs to put sun screen on and then reapply every hour.  I explained to him about the sun damaging his skin.  I just know how kids are and that they probably won't listen because they are kids.

So my son S11 came to me for a visit and I could tell he was acting funny and found out that his back and chest are sunburned pretty good.  I put aloe on it and I took pictures.

Saying anything to Sgt. Exlax is a waste of time and the only way I can get S11 to a doctor to have it looked at is to bring him into the emergency room.  This would have taken more than the three hours I had him for visitation.

Other than being documented and pictures any advice what to do or what I should do in future?

Hi all!  I'm new to SPARC altogether but feel this is probably where I will feel most at home and post often.  I'm a ncm to S11 and D10 and am re-married and a cm to D3.  I'm fortunate enough that I do see S11 and D10 on a regular basis and have a great relationship with them.  I've been on the battlegrounds for 5 years now.

I'm looking for friendship, advice and ideas on how to make this parallel parenting thing work as best as it can.  My ex, I refer to him as Sgt. Exlax, is also a narcissist.