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She called late in the evening the report was due with a few more questions.  I think now just trying to see how I was holding up under the pressure.  She got the report in the next day, which was late, but still more than 10 days before trial date, which is state law.  Now onto the court date...  I can focus on maintaining things the way they are instead of worrying that she's suggesting they change now that the report is in, which is a relief to me. 

Thanks for your advice!

Court is Aug 22 now, but I've been told they don't like to be asked when they'll get it done.  My ex is acting like he won so Monday I asked if he knew something that I didn't, and she said he didn't, and I'd only have one more day to wait.  It's been two.....So trying to come up with stress relievers...maybe just forget it's happening cuz there's nothing I can do about it anyway?  That's where I'm going with this!

The kids were supposed to be with me last weekend, and I'm guessing she was trying to create anxiety in me before the kids came to see if they noticed?  Do they do that?  I think I hid whatever stress I had well, but looking back, that seems like what she was doing.

My experience so far...she came late the first day because another case came up, so she came another day, which was fine, but that's all she's been to my house.  Other than that I gave her lots of documentation from the past up to the present for her to review...calendars stating where kids were for first year after break up...which she asked for...and everything else she's asked for of course.  She said she'd get it done by July 9th and didn't.  Then she was supposed to have it done by July 17th and didn't so court date got moved.  Now it's due but not in.  I'm guessing maybe she'll have it in by 10 days before court date which is the law???  I don't know and last week she texted me to tell me she'd call in the afternoon, and then didn't, so I asked if I missed a call, which I didn't, so she called in the evening then, but told me the report would be done the next day.  That was a week ago, and I've learned that she still had to talk to the kids when she said she'd get it done the next day, which was impossible...so I think she's baiting me.  Like all along she's told me something is going to happen, and then it doesn't.  I'm frustrated because I've never been through this before, but those I know that have haven't run into these issues.

Questions for anyone who's gone through a custody investigation...Ours is past due.  Does that happen often?  I have an uncooperative ex, and I think the investigator is trying to get him to cooperate with things, but she hardly talks to me.  I keep waiting, and she's offered to me three different times that she'll get the report done the next day, or in a day, without me asking, and then doesn't get it done as promised...I think she can tell I'm anxious so that's why she offers that info, but then it doesn't get done.  She seemed to ask questions trying to dig up dirt on my ex when she was talking to the contacts I gave her, and she talked to one specifically that I didn't give her.  I tried to give contacts that wouldn't despise my ex, and she specifically asked to talk to my family member that clashed with my ex the most without talking to me.  I'm hoping this is all good, but scared...any advice or even other experiences...just to help me through this I'd like to hear experiences and advice...

Do they lie to see how you'll handle it?  That's how I'm feeling, but the due date is from the court, and has now been changed multiple times.

I ordered a copy of that book. Looks like a useful tool. Thanks all!

I'm supposed to carry if I get it free...if not, he's supposed to carry, which was the case when the kids went onto his policy.  I've contacted the insurance company and sent a copy of the divorce decree.  He won't reimburse me half even though he's ordered to.  He's like a stubborn bull at every turn!!

The psychologist is planning on attending.  He meets with my brother for his kid, and just mentioned that he'll be coming to where my brother lives for a court case the end of the month.  My brother said he's wondering how he should handle it if his ex can bribe his kid when he gets to be a teenager to make him say he wants to live with her.  The psychologists' eyes opened a little I guess, but I'm prepared for a bumpy ride.  He's a well renowned psychologist, but it's shocking to me that he would write affidavits without at least contacting me for any questions he might have.  If the parent that brings the kids to you says not to contact the other parent, I would think that would be a red flag. 

Thanks!

Since he didn't object to the move several years ago, would it be looked at as disrupting them again?  They'd be moving back to their old school, but in my mind...that's still a disruption.  And my youngest never went to school there.  Trying not to worry about it...I really have been a good mom and there's no reason to take the kids from me, and no reason to split up the kids. 

Another thing I've found is it's difficult to find someone to testify at custody hearings.  I tried to find one, and then after struggling to find one thought...He can pay someone to say what he wants them to say, and I could pay someone to say what I want them to say, but what really matters is that the kids' needs get met in the end, so then I requested the Custody Investigation, which was granted.

We both have health insurance, but he's using theirs for the therapist.  He's ignoring that I even have insurance.  Actually...that's how this whole thing started.  He got married and got put on her policy.  She requested to put the kids on her policy, but they never said anything to me.  HR where she works contacted me, and that was the first I heard about it.  Then he told me he didn't want them on her insurance but he'd already signed them up.  It's all very strange...like they're trying to be sneaky and deceptive and make sure I don't know what they're up to.  Small towns are what they are though...thankfully! 

The custody investigator requested the therapy, and knows he won't tell me, so I'm just leaving it at that until her report comes in.  I haven't been pushy, and don't want to start now.  The psychologist the older two went to I was told will defend his affidavits no matter what I say.  I guess it's happened before because I pushed for that in the beginning.  My ex took them, and he identified that my child had possibility of depression and anxiety if he doesn't get his way, but my ex never said anything to me about it, and never addressed the concern any other way....like as in continuing therapy on his end.  It all appears orchestrated to take them from me from my standpoint, but we'll see how the CI and Judge look at it.  I found out through the grapevine who my youngest is seeing..  The CI is in contact with the therapist, so I know she's looking out for my youngest  best interest.  I feel it's in their best interest for me to be involved, but my ex wants to cut me out completely.  I can't just assume I'm right and he's wrong.  I was seeing a therapist through an abuse/crisis center, and the kids were as well...before moving here.  I gave the CI her name as a reference if she wants to talk to her.  I feel I have always had my kids' best interest at heart, so this process has been heart wrenching.