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I guess I'm surprised that the fact that I changed which state has jurisdiction and the fact that I moved away from NM are seen in a seemingly negative light.  No one has said anything directly negative about these decisions, but there does seem to be an implication that I was "state shopping" and being a "moveaway" parent.  The UCCJEA does help parents change the state of jurisdiction in certain circumstances and one of those is specifically when most of the evidence about a child's care is no longer in the original state.  My daughter had not lived in NM since 2011 and I had not lived there since 2009.  I don't believe that by taking advantage of that fact in order to file a motion closer to my home is wrong.  My ex and I had been having a dispute for a month, and I chose to file before he did.  He had been threatening to do so and didn't.  When he did finally file, the state of NM declared they were declining jurisdiction.  It doesn't make sense to say that the law doesn't support what I did. 

As far as being a move away parent, I didn't take my daughter with me when I left.  My ex was not victimized in anyway.  When she decided to move in with me, it was because he wasn't taking care of her and his other children well.  If he had wanted to fight her leaving NM, he could have and would have probably won.

Thank you for the advice on the Christmas visit which is truly appreciated.

The law actually does support other states accepting jurisdiction of child custody cases.  It's under the UCCJEA.  My daughter hadn't been in NM for several years, so the evidence regarding her health and well-being was here in TX.  New Mexico gave up the case because we hadn't lived there for so long.  My ex-husband didn't dispute my daughter's decision to leave the state.  He wasn't a victim of a move-away.

Thanks, Mixed Bag.  Our hearing in July was originally to modify a visitation plan.  My daughter hasn't lived in NM since 2011, so TX can assume jurisdiction after she's been a resident for 9 months.  A lot of our time was spent in court, sorting out the jurisdiction issue.  After my ex found out that I had filed a motion to adopt a foreign custody order here in TX, he filed a motion in NM.  The judge called a judge in NM who was set to handle his motion in NM.  They decided that TX would assume jurisdiction and NM declined jurisdiction.  So after all that headache, the judge just said that my daughter was going to go for her summer visit.  He didn't hear any of our reasons for wanting the hearing at all.

Thank you for your input.  I really don't have anyone that I can ask about how I should proceed with all of this.  No one I know has been in any sort of custody trouble!

Thank you for the reply.  The summer visit didn't go well.  She went back to NM, and it sounds like no one there knew why we were all in court.  It sounds like (based on what she heard) that her dad told everyone that he was coming to TX to get custody of her and that she was really upset that the effort had failed.  She said that whenever she went anywhere, her dad told everyone that she couldn't talk about her custody issues, so no one should ask her.  A couple times, he told people that she was a liar/exaggerator and to not listen to what she had to say about her relationship with her dad.  She didn't talk to hardly anyone about her situation.

At our court hearing, the judge didn't say anything about future visitation and we don't even have a court order really for the visit that they had this last summer.

He hasn't mentioned visits with her or me, because neither of us have really had any contact with him.  A month ago, he had called her and told her that he needed to speak with her urgently in a voice mail.  Then a minute later, he had her little brother call her and leave a similar message.  She called the brother back and the brother said that the urgent news was that her uncle's dog was being put down after been sick for years.  She didn't talk to her dad.

My 16 yo lives with me and my current husband here in TX.  My ex-husband lives in NM.  I moved out of NM in 2009, and my daughter lived with my ex from 2009-2011.  In 2011, my daughter decided to come live with me because my ex was going thru a nasty divorce.  My husband was really mad/hurt that my daughter left him to live with me in another state.  Since then, their relationship has been pretty bad.  He's oscillates between outright hurtful and passive aggressive.  We have a court order from 2004 that was the order in place when we both lived in the same city.  Since I moved out of NM we have just been using our own agreement that was never filed in any court.

My daughter had decided after her last Christmas visit that he was just being too much of a jerk and she wasn't going to visit him anymore.  She told him so and he had told her that he wasn't going to force her to visit him.  Then on June 1st, he changed his mind and demanded that she come visit him.  In July, we ended up going to court here in Tx.  Everyone told me that no judge was going to force a 15 yo to visit her noncustodial parent, but we got the judge that is very much pro-father.  We didn't even get to give our arguments.  She had to go visit him for almost 4 weeks over the summer, but we still don't have a court order in place.  I'm really not sure what to do.  I can request a final hearing that would generate a court order, but I haven't heard from him since this summer.  He has only contacted my daughter a couple of times.  My daughter thinks that we should wait and see if he'll just disappear, but I really don't know what I should be doing at this point.  Christmas is coming up and it's too late to schedule a final hearing before Christmas.  I'm not sure what would happen if he bought her a plane ticket and I just didn't make her get on the plane.

Before the initial hearing in July, my lawyer was really confident that we would be heard and that my daughter wouldn't be forced to see her dad, but we were thoroughly spanked.  Now she seems much more reluctant to give me any advice other than to try to pay for a home study or other things that cost money.