Messages

Well, when you put it that way, the order is clear, so maybe a request for clarification is not really the proper tactic.  The frequency of visits, phone calls, and Skype sessions is all very clear.  It is even clear that all I have to do is give a certain amount of notice to exercise the visits.  None of it has been followed by her.  So a motion to show cause, or request for order, is probably what is needed now.

@MixedBag, PS: I'm dealing with someone who may have a narcissistic personality disorder as well, so I understand.

@Waylon, I'm not switching away from OFW at this point, because that would involve another discussion with someone who causes problems at every opportunity

@MixedBag, thank you for the great advice.  I'm going to investigate a "Motion for Clarification" as well as requesting that the time and money be repaid.

Now, should I add to that the other violations of the order that I haven't mentioned, most notably no phone calls or Skype sessions with me when my daughter is with her mother?  How can that be remediated?

Why are you allowing this to be your daughter's choice?  Let her decide when she's 18, but for now she should see both parents as much as possible.  If you have an issue with how he talks to his daughter, ask him to work on that.  Is he abusing her?  It doesn't sound like it.

My ex-wife and her boyfriend live in Texas, and I live in California.  My daughter lives with them during the school year and I have court ordered visitation on a certain number of weekends throughout the year in Texas, as well as additional time in California.  There are no dates in the court order.  The court order only states that I must give thirty days notice regarding which weekends these are.  I have encountered multiple issues with these scheduled visits.

Until now I have given the notice long before the thirty day requirement via Our Family Wizard, which the judge ordered that we use during the divorce proceedings, though there is no standing order that we use it now that the divorce is final.  I have encountered many of the following problems.

1. Sometimes I get no reply for weeks, in which case I just follow up again until I do get a reply.

2. Sometimes I am told no.  Initially, I tried just visiting anyway because I felt that was my legal right.  (I found out the hard way that my custody orders are not enforceable by Texas police.)

3. When I visit, on occasion the visitation is refused.  I have been given anywhere from zero days to three weeks notice that I will not be allowed to visit, but I follow through anyway, because the plans are in place and my ex-wife has no legal right to do this (of which I am aware).

4. The police will not help.  Initially they told me they could only help if there were specific dates in the court order.  Since then I have been told by another officer that even with dates there is nothing they would do.  In fact, they have told me that if I set foot on her property even to knock on the door, I will be arrested.  This is alarming to me given that I am not and have never been prone to violence, and am merely attempting to exercise my custody rights.

Because of these issues, and because my ex-wife started to reply with alternative dates, more recently I decided to accept her alternative dates (which are fewer than those that I request, ultimately giving me less visitation).  I have recently attempted to exercise my visitation, yet was prevented from having the visitation, on one of the alternative dates that was offered by my ex which I accepted, all via Our Family Wizard, which I believe is enough of a paper trail.

I am at a loss as to what to do at this point.  I want to go back to court to see if I can convince a judge to allow me to have the time from these thwarted visits returned to me during the summer, tacking it onto my visitation.  I would also like to seek financial compensation for the travel expenses and lost work hours.  I don't know whether this would be a Request For Order and if this is something that would be considered by a judge.  If I can do this, would it be best to pursue it in California court where our divorce was finalized, or does Texas have jurisdiction now that my ex has been living there for more than six months?

I have found this helpful letter that I will use as a template going forward.
"Notice Of Intent To Exercise Visitation" /cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.118

However, I have a few questions about it.

Should these dates and times present a problem for you, respond via U.S. Mail by (date) with alternate dates and/or times so that I may have sufficient time to adjust my schedule accordingly to the alternate dates and/or times.

Why should I offer this?  With someone who has been so difficult to deal with, giving her the right to offer an alternative date at this point is a recipe for delay and potentially blocking the visit.  In the past she has gone off on a long tangents about how this is not good for our daughter or they already have plans, none of which is mentioned in the legal agreement.

If she denies, then you send a letter to the court stating that on (date) at (time and place) your ex refused to produce the child for visitation and did so without notice of a change of dates for visitation and reference the appropriate letter (the one you wrote stating the dates and times and requesting notice of any changes by your ex via US Mail).

Is there a template on the site for it, or should I write it from scratch?  Who would be the recipient of this letter, the judge? or the clerk?  Do I have to find out the name of the clerk?

What good will the letter do?  Does it simply serve as evidence that I'm taking the proper measures when we do end up back in court?  Why not just include it in my declaration and exhibits when filing?

I know I have asked a lot of questions, and I actually have more!  I'll save those for another future post, but please give me any advice you can.  My friends and family are likely tiring of hearing my woes, and their advice is not always the most sage as it is uninformed and infused with emotion.