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That has been my experience as well. I'm drowning simply because my spouse has wealthy parents and are getting him the best representation. It's amazing how racking up so much hours with ones lawyers can teach them how to lie so completely and effectively and these top paid liars are so damn good at upholding a lie even without evidence. And even when they are back into a corner on a lie - they can easily downplay it or at the very least the judge turns out to be chums with your spouse's lawyer.

My heart aches so much I can barely function these days.

You will very likely have to pay. This has been my experience as the primary wage earner.

I'm the first of my friends to do this so it's hard to find people who can relate

My divorce is not yet finalized but I still feel like I've been run over by a bus. There seems to be a lot of resources for dads but few for moms (and I happen to be located in a place that gives 50/50 by default no matter what the circumstances).

I just wish I had someone to talk to...