Messages

Background:

In Texas.

Girl & guy dating for two years & is a tumultuous relationship. She finds out she is pregnant & he essentially ceased all contact with her once she tells him.

Girl has baby & accumulates over $1,600 in medical bills during pregnancy (high-risk pregnancy, complicated delivery, c-section, etc.)

She files for child support two weeks after baby is born.

Questions:

1. Who pays for the maternity bills?

2. Does Texas law allow for additional child support to help with the incredible expense of child care so that mom can return to work. Child care is $205 per week$820 per month / . Estimated child support (based on Texas guideline of 20% of NCP income) would only be $650 per month. This amount would not cover 1/2 of total monthly expenses for child.

Also posted on Soc's board:

1.  Non custodial mom is about $8,000 in child support arrears
2.  She was recently put on probation by the Court in effort to enforce cs order
3.  NC mom has been paying consistently for about 2 months now.
4.  We just found out that NC mom has about $2,000 in unclaimed funds, being held by the State of Texas (was reported in 2000) from an insurance settlement.  She is not aware of this.
5.  State of Texas claims to intercede Federal & State funds owed to the ncp, if they are over $5,000 behind in child support to offset the arrears.

Question:

Does anyone know, or have had experience, of funds being intercepted and forwarded to custodial parent?  If we knew the money would be forwarded to us, we'd like to notify the nc mom & help her lower her arrears.  (Plus we really need the money!!)

All parties reside in Texas. DH is custodial parent.

NCP is about $7,000 in child support arrears.  She has been paying consistently for the past 7 months.

Property lien has been placed against NCP by the Texas Attorney General.

NCP unknowingly has unclaimed property, totally $1,950, that was escheated to the State of Texas in 2000 & is now being held by the state's Comptroller's office.

We have inquired about having these funds intercepted to offset NCP's arrears, and TX A.G. says it probably will be intercepted if NCP tries to claim the funds, but Texas Comptroller's office says that they only intercept if there is a tax lien, though she couldn't explain the difference.  She appeared confused, and finally told me to speak to an attorney.

Questions:

1.  Is it legally possible to intercept these unclaimed funds to offset the NCP's child support arrears?

2.  If so, how?

Facts:

1.  Jurisdiction is in Texas; all parties reside in Texas
2.  Non custodial mom is about $8,000 in child support arrears
3.  February 9, 2004: Enforcement Hearing / Result: She was put on five year probation by the Court in effort to enforce cs order
3.  NC mom has been paying consistently for about 2 months now.
4.  We just found out that NC mom has about $2,000 in unclaimed funds, being held by the State of Texas (was reported in 2000) from an insurance settlement.  She is not aware of this.
5.  State of Texas claims to intercede Federal & State funds owed to the ncp, if they are over $5,000 behind in child support to offset the arrears.

Questions:

1.  If a claim was filed by the ncp to obtain these funds, would the state intercept & forward funds to offset cs arrears & issue payment to cp?

2.  If not, is there anything the cp can possibly do to intercept (like file a lien against the ncp)

MB,

Yes, if I remember correctly, it's about 4-5 years since your divorce, hasn't it?  

I always valued your advice. You are true veteran with pearls of wisdom, my dear! Thank you again.

Many smiles to you!

I absolutely love that he adores and loves his stepchildren. He is a good man with a very sincere and caring soul.

My only concern is the extent to which he will allow his ex to manipulate him, and the extent to which I am able to not allow it to effect me. I care about him, but my first instinct with those I love who I see being taken advantage of is to fight for them, fix it, whatever...

Well, that's just not healthy for me. I can't fight other people's battles anymore. I don't think this man would allow me to do it, anyway. It just pains me a little to see what she does to him & then I begin to feel those familiar instincts take over.

Certainly alot to think about.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I'll have to think about this. There were times when I thought I was disengaging in my marriage...but in the end I lost myself in it.

I think I learned from it. But this newer relationship is feeling a little too familiar.

I used to be a faithful poster some years ago on this site.

S.P.A.R.C. was instrumental in helping me help my now ex-DH get custody of his two girls. It was an 8 year journey with many valleys and many peaks...

As a second wife who gave and sacrificed entirely too much in the whole ordeal, I have to say that I finally had to walk away. DH had given too little, I had given too much & neither of could fix it.  However, it was a very amicable divorce and I still maintain contact with my ex and the girls. We had no children together. I have one adult son from a former relationship.

I have moved on, and am now dating another divorced man who has joint custody of his daughter. His exwife has two other children from a previous marriage. My bf has been divorced 2 years, married 8, during which time he bonded with her other two children.

My question is this...

He takes all the children during his periods of possession, and the ex manipulates his attachment for them by threatening to cease visitation with the stepkids in order to get what she wants (more money, bailing her out of sticky situations, etc.)

He seems to go along with this. Of course it drives me nuts.  Am I being selfish? Alarms are going off in my head.

I just can't do this again...

You do need to act fast, though.  After six months, the grandparents can theoretically establish a "substancial change in circumstance."  This just means that they have created a "status quo" over a period of time & most Texas courts deem six months of a child living with someone as the magic time period.  After that, they generally don't want to change anything, as long as the child seems adjusted.

Grandparents in Texas don't have automatic rights.  So basically they have a huge uphill battle going against the biological father in obtaining custody.  

Best of luck to you.

Thanks Brent.

It's been a while since I've been around, but SPARC was instrumental in helping my dh get custody of his girls years ago.  SPARC was also a wonderful place to let me vent in a safe, supportive environment.  And when I could, it was great to help others out in similar situations.  I've met so many wonderful, amazing people here...

I've always valued your no-nonsense approach & dry humor, Brent.  Can't tell you how many times you had me rotflmao.

There is a certain amount of relief, but we never dreamed it would turn out this way.  We called the family counselor first thing yesterday morning & she'll be a great person to help guide us during these next few months, and certainly years to follow.  She's been with us the past 6 years & we think of her almost as a family member.

Thank you - and everyone - for your thoughts & prayers & advice.