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Messages - allajody

Pages: 12
I too understand the "hectic" scheduling...dh and I have 7 children together 5 that live with us full time and 2 that live with us eow/end during the school year and are suppose to live with us eow during the summer.  2 of my kids go to see their dad also so I try to do my kid's schedule to the point as having the family together if at all possible... but if dh ex decides to change dh parenting time I do not change my ex's.   yes it is nice to have the family together but I realize that at times that might not happen and what is important is that my children see their father.   

Shrink Rap / RE: Am I evil???
« on: Jul 12, 2006, 07:05:08 PM »
Thank you mixed bag
I try to support our family as well as I can.  I too am a custodial mother.  I guess my feelings of anger come from not understanding my schildren's mother.  I push my children's dad to see them he just doesn't seem to have the time, but for my kids sake I make sure he finds the time.  

I am a mother to 7 children bm to 5 sm to 2.  Happily married but trying to understand.  Thank you for your words in both threads.

Just going through gambit of change.  

Shrink Rap / Am I evil???
« on: Jul 05, 2006, 07:19:02 PM »
I am a sm and nm.  I am on both sides. My dh is supposed to have children eow during summer.  ex has signed dss up for summer school and dsd doesn't wan't to leav dss alone.  we had planned a family trip for the week we were suppose to have them.  Am I wrong to be angry at dh and his ex? dh for not standing up to his ex?  then ex for getting her way in not letting kids see us via "summer school".  dsd doesn't want brother to be sad if she comes to visit (ages 8 & 10).  I guess I am just sad and angry we  could have easily have helped dss in subject as I excelled in subject and so did dh.  This is hurting kids, dh and myself?  any suggestions?

Dear Socrateaser / Home school
« on: Feb 21, 2007, 03:52:13 PM »
State is CA, we have Joint Legal, she has sole physical custody.  Ex wife has just sent me a letter stating that she has take our children out of the public school system and started home schooling them.  She has also already decided that our children will need summer school????
My ex and I have been going to court for well over 7 years (on again off again.)

   1.) Is there anything I can do in order to ensure our children are receiving a proper education?(we live 3 1/2 hrs apart)
   2.) Is there anyway I could get equal (e.o.week) parenting time, and teach them from the same curriculum?

Thank you

Parenting Issues / RE: Clothes...
« on: Apr 04, 2007, 06:09:32 PM »
dh ex complained about the same thing.  What we did is just buy clothes for the kids for our house and when they get here they change so as not to "ruin" their clothes from their other house.  it has been working for us.

General Issues / RE: Where to file?
« on: Jun 11, 2008, 07:21:21 PM »
I would send her the bill with a cc to Child support services, if they are involved.  

General Issues / RE: Documenting electronically
« on: Jun 09, 2008, 08:34:28 PM »
We use the parenting time tracker provided by this site, it has helped us document many things.  I tracks parenting time on a monthly basis with a year end summary.  It allows for deviations in schedules, mileage, and comments.  


Second Families / RE: School and summer
« on: May 22, 2008, 08:43:48 PM »
We have tried to get her to send work.  She said as we both work we wouldn't be able to "teach" them.  My thought was that she doesn't work and she still is having a difficult time.  We have a total of 7 children together and the rest of our children do not have "summer school" and we help them with their education despite our both working.

I feel the only reason she started to home school is because she was losing control as the Judge had ordered them be called by their legal last name not her current husbands and my dh had started calling all their doctors and schools to ensure that this was happening.  He was also finally gaining access to their education, by getting report cards, information from schools, and Doctors.  So in order for this to stop happening she decided to home school them.  

I just don't understand such hatred that you would "hurt" your own children by keeping them away from their dad.  I do understand how much easier it would be to not have to deal with ex, but for our children it is very important that we do "deal"

Second Families / School and summer
« on: May 21, 2008, 06:14:53 PM »
So second year in a row when step kids can not spend "court ordered" time with their dad as their mother has decided to home school them.  She has told us that they are still really behind and she is planning on summer home schooling them; she has been "traditionally" home schooling them for 2 years now too.

DH has spoken to their Teacher Advisor and she has said the Home school system does not have a Summer school. She has also said that they are doing well, one child is a little behind on writing.  DH does not want to cause stress on the kids as their mother will "bash" him, by saying the reason they are behind is his fault for not allowing them to study.  

It has been many years we have not been able to plan a "Family" trip due to these issues.  As ours is an "Yours, Mine, and Ours Family".  I do try to Plan my kids time with their Dad during the summer well in advance so he can plan his summer with them so then when we get the schedule from dh ex we cannot plan anything together except a day or two here or there.  

If we do get any extended time with kids it is because she is doing something and makes it seem like she is doing us a favor by letting us have a week.

Sometimes, (no most of the time) I wish DH would see what his ex is doing.  Luckily we have a great relationship with his kids and the alienation that has happened in the past has not affected their relationship with the dad.  They realize that no matter what we will always love them.

sorry no real question just a vent, as I know as a "step-mom" I have no rights to be upset or frustrated.  

Thanks for listening.

Second Families / RE: What would you do?
« on: Oct 16, 2007, 05:05:38 PM »
we have "been there and done" with every situation mentioned above, so how long do we continue?  We have been "dealing" with dh ex for a long time.

we have paid bills, talked to dr's offices, dh has written letter's with court order. dh ex just takes them to new dr's, schools (now home schooling), and church (doesn't want to get involved).  

We have c.o. stateing that ex must notify within 20 days of medical or we do not pay so there is a multiple c.o's

ex must tell the skids to call their dad "dad" not "legal name" to me this woman still feel's she is above the law. She doesn't have to listen to the Judge.  

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