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Messages - Sweetie

#1
My sister's ex husband is wanting to sign over his rights of their daughter.  He is wanting to do this to keep from paying child support.  He has visitation but has only seen the girl once in 5 months.  Every weekend when he is suppose to have her he comes up with a reason not to get her.  There are months that he does not pay child support or ony pays a small amount of it. He will hold a job because he doesn't want to pay child support and they hold it out of his check.  Can he just sign his right's over to keep from paying child support?  He has I think 5 kids that we know about.  Has nothing to do with any of them but just adopted his wife 2 kids.
#2
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Phone Calls From Father
Jan 27, 2006, 11:20:08 AM
No it's not just the father's responsibility.  That's the problem here.  The father says there is nothing wrong with the way our son acts on the phone but it is.  When he's here and answers the phone and says who are you and what do you want..that's RUDE!!  If he wants to answer the phone at his father's like this, so be it.   And no matter which way he is punished, it is NEVER right when it comes  to the father.  Either I'm to hard on him, he's to old, I shouldn't have done it that way, etc.

I have told my son a million times, when ANYBODY calls and it's not for him to ask, can I ask who's calling, can I take a message, etc.  And he knows who's calling...caller id!  Even if he's on the other line, it will tell you who is calling on the second line.

Also have on tape where the father IS telling our son, that when he is on the phone with him or the grandmother and anybody else calls, he is not to answer the other line, if he does answer tell them to call back because he is talking to him and it's more important!  Now what is this teaching our son???

As far as the business calls.  They do not happen everyday.  I'm a child care provider but at times, the parent's are calling to check in on the day, other's are calling checking on openings, etc.

I don't know if grounding is the answer.  I just know I don't get any cooperation from his father.  I have talked and talked and nothing!  What else is there to do????  I want my son to grow up respecting other people and not being rude!  Wheather it's on the phone or in person.
#3
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Phone Calls From Father
Jan 27, 2006, 05:15:17 AM
Well as far as talking to the father, I did last night and once again it did not help.  He says he is a kid, he is doing nothing wrong, etc.  True he is a kid but he is 10 and has to learn phone manners and respect for other people. Like I said earlier this is not the first time this has happened.  I work out of my home and I have customers calling and my son will answer when he is on the other line with his father or grandmother and ask who are you and what do you want.   This is VERY RUDE!!   Shows no respect. Also tells them they will have to call back because he is talking to x. Also does this if my friends and family calls.  It's like father and grandmother comes first over everybody else and that's what they are teaching him.   But father wants to make excuses for him.  I'm not!  He's 10 and has to learn to grow up and be respectable to other people!

Father kept asking if I was denying him access to his son.  I told him no because he gets him when he is suppose to for visitation and no where in the papers does it say he has x times to talk to child on the phone.  He said ok and hung up.  Haven't heard anything since then.

What I plan to do.  He is grounded off the phone for 2 weeks.  This includes everybody!  I have talked to him in the past when it's happened, grounded in other ways when it's happened too.  I don't know of anything else to do right now.  Something has to get the point across!  Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.  If I am, please tell me.

Something else so you will know.  In the past 5.5 years, the father and or grandmother would call everyday, 3 or 4 times a day.  This was all week long.  Talked to them about it.  Done no good.  So I blocked their numbers and let them call 3 times a week.  Well the rest of the week, they would use a different phone that I didn't know the number to and call.   And if I didn't answer, the answering machine would be full of messages.  Talked to them again,  told them if they kept on, I would keep the numbers blocked all the time and only talk once a week.  Well grandmother wouldn't listen.  She calls once a week now.  Father calls 2 to 3 times a week now.  Child see's father and grandmother 3 weekends every month.  
#4
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Phone Calls From Father
Jan 26, 2006, 03:43:26 PM
OK, what would you say or a judge say is reasonable?
#5
Dear Socrateaser / Phone Calls From Father
Jan 27, 2006, 07:27:47 AM
We have joint legal custody but I have phyiscal custody.
No where in our divorce/custody papers does it say anything about phone calls.  Father always gets child for visitiation when he is suppose to, even though he doesn't spend the time with him.
Child is in trouble for the way he was acting on the phone.  Not the first time this has happened!  He is 10.

1. Can I refuse the child from talking on the phone to anybody including his father for a couple of weeks?  He was on the phone with his father or grandmother when the other call came in and starting acting up.
Father usually calls every night!

Thanks
#6
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Signing over rights
Jul 18, 2005, 02:14:19 PM
>
> But, be advised, that mother can return to court
>at any time and request a support modification back to state
>guidelines.

Even if he signs over his rights?  Just saying IF a judge allowed it.  There is no abuse..or at least none we can see now.  This is my niece we are talking about here. Mother has somebody willing to step up and take responsibility of the little girl.
The father has now remarried and his new wife, we think, is wanting him to sign over his rights, so he doesn't have to pay child support.  New wife also has 2 kids that her mother takes care of.  Seems like the kids are in their way.
#7
Dear Socrateaser / Signing over rights
Jul 18, 2005, 11:59:25 AM
Child is 5 years old.  Father wants to sign over rights to mother.  Does he still have to pay child support?

Mother has full custody with father having visitition.  Divorce papers says husband is to pay child support each month.  
#8
OK one more thing.  Is there any way to make the ex make our son wear the glasses when he has him?  He told me tonight (I have on tape) that when he has our son he will not make him wear them because HE doesn't think our son needs the glasses and the doctor is a "country doctor" that doesn't know what he is doing.

This is not in the best interest of the child.  He needs the glasses!   Could the school maybe do something?  I don't know.  He has the paper on file at school saying he is to wear the glasses all the time except during PE and playing outside.

Thanks
#9
The parties have agreed that they shall have joint legal custody of the child with the wife having paramount physical custody of minor child.
Both parties understand that his award obligates the parties to share in the decision making rights regarding the health, education and welfare of the child.

Visitation:
First 3 weekends of each and every month from Fri. 5pm till Sun.5pm.

Chirstmas odd years wife has child for a seven day period beginning at 5 on Dec. 18 ending 2pm Chirstmas day. Husband having child for a seven day period beginning 2pm Chirstmas day ending 5pm Jan.1.  Even years the visitation will be reversed.

Thanksgiving even years wife will have child after school on Wed. before thanksgiving until 6pm Sunday.  Odd years husband will have same.

Spring break, easter, same as christmas and thanksgiving.

Summer visitation husband has 6 weeks visitation during the summer beginning the first Sun. after school is out with wife having visitation every other weekend from 5pm fri. to 5pm Sun.

Mrs. X is responsible for providing health insurance for the parties minor child and each party will continue to be responsible for prompt payment of one half of all healthcare expenses which are not paid insurance.
#10
We live in Mississippi.  

I have physical custody of our 9 year son.  

Divorce paper says ex is suppose to pay half of all medical bills. (even though he hasn't done it yet because he's broke. who ain't broke these days?)

Son failed eye exam at school.  He has had glasses for 4 years now but father says he don't have to have them because "they are not cool".  Nurse at school said get second opinion.  So I did.  Doctor said he needs glasses and will probably for his lifetime.

Now ex is wanting another opinion because he doesn't trust the doctor I used because he is not a specialist.  No one suggested a specialist!  But he wants me to pay half of this.  I don't think we need another opinion.  

1.  Am I responsible if he takes our son to another doctor?  3 doctors have already said he needs glasses.  He has had glasses for 4 years now.

2.  Anything I can do to ex so he will make our son wear his glasses?  He has to have them even though "they may not be cool".  It's in our son's best interest to wear them though.

There is ALOT more to this story.  Just gave the highlights of it.  Never ending battle with my ex.