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Messages - blabbity

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1
Custody Issues / No papers = no temporary order?
« on: Sep 28, 2012, 07:55:38 AM »
My husband (NCP) took his ex (CP) back to court two weeks ago for varied and numerous violations of their divorce decree.  The commissioner eviscerated CP in open court for violating the decree.  He issued several new requirements for her under temporary orders (specific phone times, making the kids available for visitation, etc).  He continued the hearing for a later date and ordered mediation.  My husband's attorney is writing up the temp orders.

So, the day after the hearing, CP started violating the brand-spanking-new temp orders.  My husband has sent her emails documenting her new violations.  Last night, she emailed him back stating that there are no temp court orders because she hasn't received the hard copy, signed temporary orders yet. 

My question is... when do temporary orders go into effect?  The assumption is immediately, but I can't find any hard and fast information on that in the state statues (Utah).  I know the commissioner will be pissed that she's ignoring his orders... we're just trying to find some solid information to back that up.

Anyone know?


2
Visitation Issues / Re: Custodial interference?
« on: Jul 30, 2012, 01:06:52 PM »
Thanks.  NCP also asked mediation (it's required before going to court) and CP refused.  So, another violation of the decree.   NCP's going for attorneys fees as well as make-up time.  It's a great idea to ask to put stiffer penalties in if she does it again in the future.

thanks

3
Visitation Issues / Custodial interference?
« on: Jul 30, 2012, 10:47:37 AM »
Background:

* NCP dad had the kids on his two week uninterrupted part of summer vacation.
* Son's birthday was during this time.
* NCP and CP agreed that the CP could take the kids the day after the birthday.
* CP wrote in an email that she was taking the kids to a pool party that ended at 10 and that she would bring back the kids to the NCPs house by 10:30 to 11.
*Original orders say that the NCP will do all transportation unless other arrangements are made.  The other arrangements in this instance was the agreement that the CP would bring the kids back to the NCP after the pool party.

Ok, so the CP never brought the kids back that night.  She never informed the NCP that she wasn't bringing the kids home.  NCP called at 10:45 when the kids didn't show up, CP put her new husband on the phone.  He informed the NCP that according to the divorce decree, the NCP has to do all the driving, that the kids were already in bed and that he couldn't pick them up that night. Again, there was no notification of a change to the transportation agreement after the original email saying CP would return the kids.

NCP called the police.  They did a welfare check, confirmed that the kids were at the house and spoke to the CP.  She again said that NCP was supposed to pick up the kids.  NCP talked to the cop, who then informed CP that NCP would be by to pick up the kids in the morning.

NCP went there in the morning with another cop there to keep the peace.  CP refused to come to the door.  She also ignored phone calls from both the cop and the NCP.  The cop kept trying to call her throughout the morning.  She finally called NCP at 11 am telling him he could pick up the kids.  She claims that her whole family slept through the numerous doorbell rings and knocks on the door, and that her phone was turned off so she could sleep.  NCP finally picked up the kids at noon.  The kids told him that they heard the doorbell and knocks but that their mom wouldn't let them come to the door.

Ok... so does the NCP has the police reports and is adding this incident to another order to show cause for a previous instance of custodial interference.

Will the CP be able to blow off her email agreeing to return the children, like she seems to think she can?

4
I went through a similar situation with my ex... he had three suicide attempts after the divorce.  He finally got hospitalized after the third attempt.  Unfortunately, at that time, he also told his older daughter (from a previous marriage to ours) all about his suicide plans and also showed her the gun he planned on taking himself out with.  It really screwed her up. He also made physical threats towards me and my kids, all via text.  I had to get a protective order initially. 

We went to court, and I got temporary custody.  We did eventually drop the protective order, but not before making some permanent changes to the divorce/custody decree. The guardian ad litem suggested a modification to the divorce decree stating that my ex had to have supervised visits with the kids until a therapist ok'd him to be around the kids.  He also suggested a modification ordering my ex to stay on his meds (he has a history of going on/off his meds) and another order that my ex has to see his therapist on a weekly basis until he is stable, and then check in with his therapist at least every 8 weeks after that.  Also in the order is that he's restrained from talking to the kids about his depression, the protective order, the court proceedings etc.  He has a long history of parentifying his older kids and using them as emotional crutches.   My kids are little, so I didn't tell them about the protective order or the suicide attempts.  They know about my ex's depression, so what we've told them is that they're staying with me while their dad gets help with his depression.  I don't want them to know about the suicide attempts or the protecive order... I don't want it to change their perception of their dad.   So, that's where we're at right now.  As long as my ex follows the therapist's directions, and follows the modifications in the decree, he'll be able to get his time back.   

Before the suicide attampts, we did have a 50/50 arrangement.  However, my ex did violate the protective order a couple of times.  After that, the judge ordered a kind of strange arrangement.   He gave me sole custody... physical and legal, but my ex still has 50/50 visitation rights.  Right now, my ex is allowed to have up to 50% of the time, as long as he can find a supervisor.  It's an odd arrangement... but it gives him more time with the kids than he did before, but still protects the kids from inappropriate behavior on his part.  Eventually, I'm hoping we can get back to the usual 50/50 with no supervision, but it all depends on my ex's behavior.

My advice is to follow all of your orders to a T, stick with your meds and counseling, and get and stay stable.  It's the best thing for you and your kids.  As long as you don't have any relapses, there is no reason why you shouldn't be with your kids.


5
Well, Dad just called me. He got a call from his lawyer just now to talk about the order to show cause that they're working on. He asked about uninterrupted vacation time superceding phone calls. His lawyer said it doesn't. Phone calls are still allowed, and in fact encouraged, during vacation time. So, there it is... in Utah anyway.  It's another log on the fire for Mom's violations of the divorce decree.

I know that for some people two weeks without talking to their kids is no big deal. I would have a really hard time not talking to my kids for that long. I have sole custody of my two kids... I'd never in a million years think to deny their dad phone time. It just makes no sense to me :(


6
"Her husband however...shouldn't jump in the middle."

This is pretty typical for him.  He's a tool  >:(

7
Mom gave Dad 30 days notice of vacation, but no itinerary.  She's gone out of state and has left no contact info and is now ignoring phone calls.  Her new husband texted saying that their vacation time is uninterrupted and that efforts to contact the children via phone is harrassment.

Dad has already filed an order to show cause on her leaving the state with no itinerary, denial of visitation time and denial of phone contact with the kids on other occassions.  The court date is in July.  Can dad add this in as another denial of phone time?

Does uninterrupted vacation time mean no phone calls as well as no visits?

Thanks :)

8
Visitation Issues / Custodial mom is claiming two residences
« on: May 31, 2012, 09:36:09 AM »
My boyfriend is the noncustodial parent and has standard visitation with his kids... two weekends a month and every wednesday evening. His ex wife lives in Town A, but recently married a man that has a home in Town B, 100 miles away. The kids' main residence is in Town A, that's the residence in the divorce paperwork, where they go to school, etc. They ocassionally visit the new stepdad's house in Town B on mom's weekends, but live at the house in Town A. Mom never informed my boyfriend of her new husband's address in Town B. My boyfriend has asked for it, but was told that it's none of his business.

Last night was my boyfriend's usual wednesday night visit with his kids. He got to the house in Town A at 5, no one was home. He texted Mom to see where they were. Mom informed him that they were in Town B, and texted him the address finally. Mom is now insisting that my boyfriend has to drive 100 miles each way to exercise his visitation. She gave him no formal notice of a move... she says they haven't offically moved, that they are living in both homes. He told her she was denying him visitation, she told him to kiss her butt. Nice, eh?  He called the police and they came by, so he has solid documentation, in addition to her texts, that she didn't make the children available for the visit. 

So, obviously he's gotten her on one count of custodial interference. She removed the children from their custodial home with no notice, and made it impossible for him to see them last night. But what about the claim that both of the residences are legal residences and she can make him drive all that way?

He's scoured the state code (Utah) to see if there is a legal definition of "custodial home" but couldn't find any clarification on what happens when the custodial parent is claiming two homes. In the meantime, he's adding this incident to a contempt of court motion he's making through his attorney for other decree violations she's made.

Has anyone else come across the custodial parent claiming two residences before?

Thanks!


9
My best friend divorced last year in September, got the standard visitation (every other weekend and Wednesday evenings).  Communication with his ex was argumentative after the divorce, but at least she was communicating.  She got engaged in December (3 months after the divorce), and slowly her communication ground to a halt.  She stopped responding to any if his emails around February.  She wouldn't answer any of his questions or concerns.  Although she does still allow him phone access to his kids and hasn't interfered with visitation (even though she threatened it on occasion).  She got remarried in early March.  A few weeks ago, my friend sent her an email asking when his son's scout meeting time had been changed to and told her he was worried about his daughter's homework not getting turned in.  He got a response from her new husband of two weeks saying that due to the harassing emails my friend had been sending, any further communication about the kids (the new husband referred to them as "our children") would have to go through him.  Apparently the custodial mom has since blocked my friend's email and told him that if he texts her, she'll consider it harassment.  My friend tried sending her a certified letter with his concerns outlined and she refused it.

Can a new husband step in like that and demand that all communication go through him, when he's no party to the divorce/custody agreement?

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