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Topics - allajody

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Shrink Rap / Am I evil???
« on: Jul 05, 2006, 07:19:02 PM »
I am a sm and nm.  I am on both sides. My dh is supposed to have children eow during summer.  ex has signed dss up for summer school and dsd doesn't wan't to leav dss alone.  we had planned a family trip for the week we were suppose to have them.  Am I wrong to be angry at dh and his ex? dh for not standing up to his ex?  then ex for getting her way in not letting kids see us via "summer school".  dsd doesn't want brother to be sad if she comes to visit (ages 8 & 10).  I guess I am just sad and angry we  could have easily have helped dss in subject as I excelled in subject and so did dh.  This is hurting kids, dh and myself?  any suggestions?

Dear Socrateaser / Home school
« on: Feb 21, 2007, 03:52:13 PM »
State is CA, we have Joint Legal, she has sole physical custody.  Ex wife has just sent me a letter stating that she has take our children out of the public school system and started home schooling them.  She has also already decided that our children will need summer school????
My ex and I have been going to court for well over 7 years (on again off again.)

   1.) Is there anything I can do in order to ensure our children are receiving a proper education?(we live 3 1/2 hrs apart)
   2.) Is there anyway I could get equal (e.o.week) parenting time, and teach them from the same curriculum?

Thank you

Second Families / School and summer
« on: May 21, 2008, 06:14:53 PM »
So second year in a row when step kids can not spend "court ordered" time with their dad as their mother has decided to home school them.  She has told us that they are still really behind and she is planning on summer home schooling them; she has been "traditionally" home schooling them for 2 years now too.

DH has spoken to their Teacher Advisor and she has said the Home school system does not have a Summer school. She has also said that they are doing well, one child is a little behind on writing.  DH does not want to cause stress on the kids as their mother will "bash" him, by saying the reason they are behind is his fault for not allowing them to study.  

It has been many years we have not been able to plan a "Family" trip due to these issues.  As ours is an "Yours, Mine, and Ours Family".  I do try to Plan my kids time with their Dad during the summer well in advance so he can plan his summer with them so then when we get the schedule from dh ex we cannot plan anything together except a day or two here or there.  

If we do get any extended time with kids it is because she is doing something and makes it seem like she is doing us a favor by letting us have a week.

Sometimes, (no most of the time) I wish DH would see what his ex is doing.  Luckily we have a great relationship with his kids and the alienation that has happened in the past has not affected their relationship with the dad.  They realize that no matter what we will always love them.

sorry no real question just a vent, as I know as a "step-mom" I have no rights to be upset or frustrated.  

Thanks for listening.

Second Families / What would you do?
« on: Oct 11, 2007, 09:15:34 PM »
We received a bill from a dr that my step children see.  The thing is the bill had the kids under bm's new last name.  I sent back saying that we did not know ss "bm new last name" or sd "bm new last name".  We have gone to court and the judge said the children are to be known as "dh last name" and bm must change all on dr. and school records.  It wasn't a big bill but bm has continued to alienate the children from their father by changing their last name (this is the 3rd time), telling them that dh is "legal first name" and sf is "daddy".  
Some times I wish my dh would be as "hurt" as I am.  I know that this is none of my business, but as a ncsm, cbm, and whatever else you could call me I couldn't imagine doing this to my family.  So as a mother in a your's, mine and our's family, it is difficult to remind our children that we are a family first no matter step, real, or half.  I at times feel the prejudices bending our family no matter what.
I believe that I am here to make sure that our children grow up to be the best that they can be, and by knowing that they are loved no matter how much we as adults may be stressed by the "others" in our lives.

I digress, would you do the same re: the bill?

Second Families / What would you do???
« on: Apr 23, 2007, 08:05:20 PM »
bm has recently (sometime during this school year) taken kids out of school and started homeschooling them.  I have issues dh does but doesn't want to make waves. (
bm handed dh a note saying that kids now need summer school and at the same time say's he only gets to see his children 1 week/month and eoweekend(co eoweek during summer).
 I feel that it is just one other way for bm to take away the time that the children spend with their daddy.  where I can see that ss need some extra help sd is doing very well.  

I keep trying not to voice my concerns as yes it is my dh children but it is affecting our entire family.  I do miss dss & dsd very much as do their brother's and sister's.  

every change dh ex makes put me on an emotional roller coaster no matter how much i try not to let it upset me it does as it not only affects dh but the entire family.  It breaks my heart as I try to my sure my children see their father every chance that he will take them as I do know it is important for them... I have been doing this for over 8 years and know I will continue to deal but I have been crying often and dh does not understand.  I love all of our children.

I understand that my dh does not want to upset our other children by causing a stink but I am really tired of taking it in the rear.

Second Families / What would you do?????
« on: Feb 15, 2007, 08:43:06 PM »
Dh is to get kids this weekend +3 days as the district they are in take a week off.  He gets a call from his ex saying that the school calendar has changed and he only gets kids till monday.  Yesterday get a whole new schedule of parenting time from ex and a note saying that she has taken them out of school and started teaching them at home...and if they don't test well will have to go to summer school at home also.  
This is from a woman that cannot even complete a sentence correctly let alone spell.  I have great fears for the kids and their education.  Also of her having this much more control over them.  She never asked dh.

Also she addressed the letter to dh and her husbands ex as if they were a couple XXX and xxxxx thank you for understanding this change...blah blah.

I am fighting mad and ready to take her back to court.  I told dh If they are being home schooled we should then get them every other week for the week and we could teach them when we have them pbfh could just send curriculim home with them and then we would get more time... If she wants to play I am ready.....

Please I would love honest opinions dh has been tolerable since last time we went to court and I have been waiting for this crap. Unfortunatly I knew it was tooooo good to be true.

Second Families / what would you do
« on: Jan 17, 2007, 07:33:17 PM »
dh ex has been doing searches for me on at a school search engine... what would you do?  I feel like post some wonderful family pics but haven't.  

Second Families / arrrrggggghhhh!!!!!
« on: Aug 10, 2006, 08:33:21 PM »
    My dh just got off the phone with his ex, she informed him that she was taking the children camping tomorrow... this was to be his parenting time with them this weekend.  She has already taken all of our summer by enrolling them in summer school (skids are 8&10).  My dh or myself could have helped them in reading... this entire summer we have had them for 1 week and one 2 weekends.  Parenting time is to be every other weekend during the school year and every other week during the summer.  
   I have just calculated that in the past year and a half we have not seen his kids a total of 31 day's,  alway's with a promise of make up time that doesn't quite work out.  As we live about 4 hrs apart they meet 1/2 way... she said we could go to the meeting place but that they would not be there we could file a police report, but as that would take him away from the rest of his kids for 4-??? hrs and she has stated to him that she would not be there he has opted to stay home.   I just keep documenting hoping one day he will be sick of it again.  
  About 3 years ago he got sick of it enough that he took her back to court he hired an attorney (wonderful women)... he went to court when the judge asked if there was anyone that need to be heard to stand now and dh ex stood up asking for the case to be dismissed.  That got the judges attention,  he looked over the case records and told her that if he ever saw her in his court again she (ex) would be sorry.  So for 1 1/2 yrs she has some what abided.  A day here and excuse there, but this weekend might have finally gotten dh upset enough again.  

  I guess I just need some moral support as he doesn't like to talk about it with me...(granted I get really steamed at his ex)  It messes up our family... we are a blended family. I have 3 he has 2 and we have 2 together.  We have been married for 6 1/2 yrs and have been missing time the whole time.  If I went through all documentation would probably be missing about a year and 1/2 of parenting time.  It is hard.

Thank you...:)

Visitation Issues / summer school???
« on: Jul 05, 2006, 07:09:58 PM »
dh suppose to have children eow during summer, court ordered...planned a vacation.  bm signed son up for scout camp and summer school (extra help).  sd doen't want to go without brother.  any recourse re: summer school.  the subject ss needs help in we could help.  no problem.  I and dh very frustrated but don't know what to do.  We will get kids only one week during this summer due to summer school and scout camp.  I am just frustrated dh doesn't want to force issue, but feels ex is not thinking of kids.  suggestions?

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