Haven't posted in a long while, but I lurk every week.
I just wanted to encourage you all to keep up the good fight for your children's sake. It is worth it. We will be having our first uninterrupted Father's Day with SS this year. He is 20 now. I came to this site when he was 6 or 7. Up until last year, BM was interfering. Then apparently SS did something that made her turn to him say, "you are every bit as bad as your father ever was" and he left. His rose colored glasses were off. I am sad that SS had to be hurt in order for that to happen, but he is also learning to deal with a mother that has unresolved emotional issues in a way that keeps some healthy boundaries... something we sought for him for years. He is asking questions -- I promised him years ago that I would never lie to a direct question -- sometimes it is hard not to play the blame game and keep my explanations to what we absolutely know.
SS calls 3-4 times a week to ask his Dad if he can come hang out... to ask if they can go do something together...to ask for advice. It is so NORMAL that it brings a tear to my eye.
Like many others here before us, we are passing on the torch.
I just wanted to encourage you all to keep up the good fight for your children's sake. It is worth it. We will be having our first uninterrupted Father's Day with SS this year. He is 20 now. I came to this site when he was 6 or 7. Up until last year, BM was interfering. Then apparently SS did something that made her turn to him say, "you are every bit as bad as your father ever was" and he left. His rose colored glasses were off. I am sad that SS had to be hurt in order for that to happen, but he is also learning to deal with a mother that has unresolved emotional issues in a way that keeps some healthy boundaries... something we sought for him for years. He is asking questions -- I promised him years ago that I would never lie to a direct question -- sometimes it is hard not to play the blame game and keep my explanations to what we absolutely know.
SS calls 3-4 times a week to ask his Dad if he can come hang out... to ask if they can go do something together...to ask for advice. It is so NORMAL that it brings a tear to my eye.
Like many others here before us, we are passing on the torch.