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Both the child support and child care are are taken from my paycheck by the courts order.
The child support is being revisited this year. And my ex provided a 1040 tax return that claimed child care costs paid to the school child care centre.
I've learned from my child, they have not been going to any child care for the last three years.
Years ago I tried to get records from the school child care center but they gave me the run around.
What is the exact wording I need to use to get information about how much the school child care centre received and how much my child actually attended these past three years? Is this the right information to have in order to get the child care garnishment removed?

Is this worth trying an ex-parte to get permission to go to the funeral?
How would it look to a court if I went to the funeral and left the kids?
How would it look to a court if I missed the funeral because of this?

I'm the dad, and our two children live with their mother and mother has full custody. We live 3 hours apart. I have visitation ever other weekend, alternate holidays and all but two weeks of summer.

My Grandmother died and the funeral is this Sunday.  I asked to take the kids to the funeral and because of the driving distance to grandmother house we can't be back till Monday night. Our kids would miss one day of school so the mother refused.  

This funeral weekend is my regular alternating weekend with our kids and their mother also insists that I provide arraignments to care for our kids.  I've asked her to be flexible. She refuses.  I am upset and sad.  I have to make the choice between giving my last respects to my grandmother and being with our kids. I am trying to find someone to watch the kids, but it's an hour and half drive to pickup and drop off.

I've been flexible and currently I'm "owed" for two weekends that the mother requested to switch for previously this in September and October.  Last weekend could have been a make up weekend but the mother refused because she said she was leaving town. I have given up arguing with her logic. It turns out she is out of town all this week and the funeral weekend as well, returning Monday night. I only learned of this when I called to talk about the funeral and the kids told me that mom and boyfriend were gone and a paid sitter was watching them.  

All this is true. Please give me your honest advice. What is the best course of action for our children's sake? Don't sugar coat.

Thank you.

We all live in CA. I am the non-custodial dad of two children and I must provide the health insurance. I do this through a health savings account, HSA.

Our divorce order says that we split medical costs. But, no one knew about HSA's back then.  

My question:
When full-custody mom takes our children to the doctor, am I responsible for the full copay out of my HSA ?  Or, do I pay half and mom pays half?

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