I'm the stepmom to two wonderful boys (9 and 12) who reside with DH and myself during the school year (with BM EOW) and 1/2 of the summer. We are in AZ. Both SS's have monthly medical expenses which DH and I cover and wait to get reimbursed from BM until she feels like paying. When school started this year, we made a list of the school clothes the kids were going to need approx. costs for a heads up for her and let her know that we would be submitting the actual receipts when the items were purchased. She responded with a lenghty email about how we are the ones who wanted the boys to "live with us" and that she wasn't going to pay anything towards their living expenses while they are "with us".
In the agreed upon paperwork (written up and signed at mediation), child support was agreed to be $0 being paid by either parent (the reason was because they would both "have" the children close to equal amounts). Since then, as stated above, she has them EOW and 1/2 of the summer. Which actually seems to be working ok for everyone emotionally (kids included), but she is still unwilling to help out financially when it comes to school expenses. My husband and I have gone around and around when it comes to whether we should ask for child support for the boys or if it would cause too much friction. We are able to support them with their needs, but like many others, we do have to restrict them from participating in activities because of lack of funds on our part.
Ok, so here are the acutal questions:
1. How long does it take (documenting everything) to establish a pattern of her unwillingness to help support the kids?
2. In your experience, does it make sense for us to just let the child support issue go and just raise them the best we can? Or to potentially start making an okay situation very bad for the sake of allowing the children to have the best childhood possible (with all parents contributing)?
Thanks so much for your thoughts!
In the agreed upon paperwork (written up and signed at mediation), child support was agreed to be $0 being paid by either parent (the reason was because they would both "have" the children close to equal amounts). Since then, as stated above, she has them EOW and 1/2 of the summer. Which actually seems to be working ok for everyone emotionally (kids included), but she is still unwilling to help out financially when it comes to school expenses. My husband and I have gone around and around when it comes to whether we should ask for child support for the boys or if it would cause too much friction. We are able to support them with their needs, but like many others, we do have to restrict them from participating in activities because of lack of funds on our part.
Ok, so here are the acutal questions:
1. How long does it take (documenting everything) to establish a pattern of her unwillingness to help support the kids?
2. In your experience, does it make sense for us to just let the child support issue go and just raise them the best we can? Or to potentially start making an okay situation very bad for the sake of allowing the children to have the best childhood possible (with all parents contributing)?
Thanks so much for your thoughts!