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My stbx and I signed an agreement that we would share custody of our 8 YO daughter 50:50 and had our attorneys witness it before I moved out of the house. For 5 months, everything's been great and my daughter is thriving.

STBX decided to sue for custody and we agreed to custody evaluation. She provided a list of evaluators and we accepted one from the list.

Evaluaton report says that she has several personality disorders (Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistiic Personality Disorder) as well as several elevated MMPI-2 scales which indicate a lack of truthfulness and distorted view of reality. No disorders for me.

Still, evaluator found that both parents are capable of raising daughter and recommended that the current 50:50 schedule be maintained.

STBX goes ballistic over report and says she wants a second opinion. Is it likely that the judge will allow it?

Thx.

I understand that if a court finds the non-custodial parent is deliberately unemployed or underemployed it can impute income for support purposes.

1.  If a reduction in income is from a legitimate career change (not for the purpose of reducing support), could some sort of 'equal protection' challenge to imputed income be viable?  After all, married parents can change careers or switch jobs with the resultant impact on their children.

Thanks, Soc.

Hi Soc-

CP and Child live in TN. Child a resident 6 months come tomorrow. NCP mother lives in Va.

Mother relocated last month without giving written 30 days notice as required by the court order. She did however give my wife the new address about 2 weeks after calling from the new home number.

I just signed a lease on a home Saturday. I sent a letter by certified mail to the mother, cc a copy to the family court and circuit courts in Va today notifying her that as of March 2007 the physical address will change.  My wife told NCP last night that we were moving soon and to expect a letter in the mail.

I plan to move my belongings into our new home this weekend. As you can calculate that's also not giving a 30 days' advance notice to the other party or court. I can't afford both places, so I need to move this weekend- and will continue to clean the apartment through the end of this month. I don't want to be in contempt but I am providing my daughter and other children with a much needed larger home. And I've given her as much notice as possible in this situation.

1. If NCP wants to try to get me for contempt, will TN or VA have jurisdiction?

2. Do you think contempt is likely, given I have provided her with as much notice as I possibly could and couldn't afford to pay for both places?

3. Will the courts consider that she moved without providing the same notice required by the order?

4. Do you have any ideas short of paying for rent in both places for the month of March to help this situation?

Thanks Soc- I have finally been able to provide my family with the home they deserve and don't want to screw this up with my daughter and the courts.

Hi Soc,

All parties and order are in PA.  I have been NCM for 6 years, divcorced for 9.  There have been numerous court actions.  We have been through two custody evals and worked with two different mediators.

I wrote about six weeks ago concerning a petition my X filed in which he claimed the children said my DH was drinking and driving them around in the car.

 My vistis were also inavertantly suspended by the judge then reinstated when my lawyer realized what had happened.  The judge claimed he never meant to suspend them that he had not read the order prepared by OC and thought he was just setting a hearing date.

The hearing was today.  The attorneys spoke to the judge in chambers.  Then the attorneys and the children spoke with the judge in chambers. Then we all went into the court room and the judge issued his order.

He has ordered that the children DS 17 and DD14 have a GAL with whom to voice thier concerns.  No Hearing was held.  No questioning, no cross examination. No other changes to the order.

The judge also spoke to both X and I off the record.  He admonished X for sharing motions, orders custody evals etc with the children.  He told me not to read my children's email or pose as them online ( which I have never done and this was news to me).

He was upset that the counseling he ordered between X and I in Februray 06 has resulted in only two joint sessions thus far.

  He admonished X for blowing off a session last week and me for cancelling one prior in which the X was going to include the children without my knowledge or consent.  The therapist called to inform me that the children "may" be there.  I asked her what the goals were and she couldn't answer.  I told her I felt the adults needed to work out a few things before bringing in the children and she agreed.  SHE cancelled the session and my lawyer was involved in this.

The judge said he did not want the children to be cross examined which would have been necessary to discern the thruth of what they were alledging about my Dh driving drunk with them in the car.  No more was said about this issue at all.

X had asked for "safegaurds to be put in place and for the children to not be at my home when I'm not here."  None of that was addressed.

I had an adult witness who was with Dh and kids that night ready to testify that he was not driniking and that the vist went normally.  I aslo spoke to the children during the visit by phone and was going to testify that they never said there were any problems and that dad called during the visit but still allowed DH to drive the chidren to the drop off point at the end of the visit.

Questions:

What do you suppose the judge hopes to gain by appointing the GAL?

Is the GAL going to be a sort of permenant evalautor from now on?

How does the GAL fit in with the counsleor who is supposed to work with X and I?

Did I win or loose this round becasue I don't know?

State of GA

Forty-four days ago, I filed a lawsuit for damages against my ex.

It included:
1 - a verified complaint
2 - a summons (based on standard form provided by Georgia's court sysem)
3 - sherrif's acknowledgment of service (again, a form)

She was personally served by the sheriff just 2 days following its filing.

The documents have been checked and double-checked for accuracy.

As of today, I have received no response. State law permits me to file a motion for default judgment after 30 days if no response has been forthcoming. Before I do that, I want to stand back and look at the situation and see if there is something which I may be missing. She may or may not have an attorney. Her father has been involved as both plaintiff and defendant in 28 separate civil lawsuits in just 12 years and has always been pro se, and he may have counciled her to do the same. He also has a strong history of not responding to motions and not showing up for hearings. (He has lost more than he has won.)

ONE QUESTION:

Based on what I have said, do you readily see any pitfall into which my complaint may have fallen so as to not obligate her to respond in any way?

I understand that the issue of service and a summons is crucial to beginning each case and paid particular attention to these details. I just don't want to assume that she's willing to have a default judgment against her, and want to explore any avenues before filing it.

I live in VA, but the child lives in FL with the CP.

One of the most important points of my motion to clarify was how transportation was to be split up.

The original stipulation read:

Both parents shall be responsible for the financial and physical transportation of the child...

Original arrangement by CP and I had to accomodate this:

I'd buy the tickets and CP would reimburse me, since CP claims that they don't have a debit or credit card with a visa logo.  

Problem with that arrangement:

CP would delay reimbursing me.

My action:

I told CP that I couldn't do this anymore, as not being reimbursed on time posed a problem for me.

Additional problems: I have now emailed the CP to tell them that I would like to figure out transportation arrangments between us, but she is not responding to my emails. The last few certified emails leading up to my motion to clarify were deliberately returned unopened. (I know that CP is there though).

My question is as follows:

1) How can I make transportation arrangements with the CP when they refuse to communicate?

2) How can I avoid buying the same plane ticket as the ex? I guess I can't

Thanks Soc!

This is going to be long. Va case. Mother filed to term father's rights, father filed show causes,mother dropped case, father filed to amend custody. GAL recomemnded custody reversal to Father, Father resides in TN. with child.  Mother found guilty of contempt. Mother is now represented by counsel, Father is currently unrepresented. Mother filed appeal. Hearing set for Nov 20. The following was recieved today, postmarked 16th.

1. Describe in detail your current residence, providing in your description the size of the home, number of bedrooms, number of bathrooms, lot size and whether you rent or own your home.

2. Identify any and all persons who reside with you in your home, including in your description each such person's full name, age and realtionship to you.

3. Describe in detail and all changes in circumstances occuring since entry of the consent order on August 25, 2005, that support your request that (child) be in your primary custody.

4. If you contend that (her client) is not a proper custodian for (child), describe in detail each and every fact supporting that contention.

5. Identify each person who has any knowledge of the matters disclosed in your answer to Interog #4 above , providing for each his or her full name, address, telephone nymber and summary of the matters about which he or she has knowledge.

6. If you ever pleaded guilty or no contest to, or been convicted of, a felony or a crime involving moral turpitude (for example, lying, cheating, stealing, bad checks, etcetera) describe said felony or crime in detail , including the charge(s) and the date(s) of the offense.

7. For all insurance policies owned by you or in which you have an interest, provide the following information:
name and addy of insu co
type of policy(med, life, whole, term, universal,)
insured
policy number
current balance of any loan against policy
face value
beneficiary
present cash value


8. Identify and describe each employment position you have held during the past 3 years, including, but not limited to, a complete descripton of your employer's name and address, your position, the dates of service, your annual salary, the number of hours worked, any bonuses, commissions or other compensation recieved, any fringe benefits/perquitsites recieved, including but not limited to, insurance coverage, retirement or profit sharing, travel pay, vacation and sick leave accrued and if your current employer utilizes a stndard promotion or salary review schedule, state the approximate dates of your future promotion or reviews and the increwments in salary antipatedd on those dates.



9. Describe in detail all fringe benefits (not previously described to Inter 8 above) available to you through your employment(such as automobile expense, credit cards, medical insurance or reimbursement, life insurance, expense acct, stock option, bonuses, etc.

10. Identify fully all sources of income(excluding employment listed in response to Inter #8 above) (taxable and non taxable) received during the last 3 years up to your response to the interogatory, including but not limited to, royalties, dividends, rent, pension, social security, disability, interests, trusts, investments, inheritents, and the like. Include in your response the sourse of the income, the frequency and the amount of the payments, the date of the payments commenced and teminated, if appropraite, and the total amount of payments received in each of the previous (3 )years

11 Identify each and every location wher eyou have resided since the birth of your daughter (child's name) providing the full address and dates of residency for each such location.

12 Identify the name of any expert you expect to call to testify as an expert witness at any hearing or trial in this matter, the subject matter on which the expert is expected to testify, and the substance of the facts and opinions to which the expert is expected to testofy as well as a summary of the grounds for each opinion.

13 Identify the counselor from whom (child's name) is currently receiving counseling,providing that person's full name, address, telephone number and the date that (child name) began such counseling.


Pursuant to supreme court of VA it says we have to submit the following within 21 days:

1. Copies of individual federal and state income tax returns with all schedules and attachments for the years 2004 to present.

2 Copies of your W-2 forms and 1099 forms received from all income for the years 2004 to the present.

3. Copies of your 3 most present pay stubs or equivalent.

4. Copies of all federal and state income tax returns with all schedules and attachments filed on behalf of any busness entity in which you have an ownership interest for years 2004 to present.

5 Copies of all bank statements, savings and loan statements, money market acct statements, and other statements issued by financial inst. reflecting fiancnial transactions in accts bearing your name either soley or jointly with others for borth personal and business use from Jan 1, 2006 to the present.

6. Copies of any medical, dental and life insurance policies insuring you and/or (child) or in which you have any interest.

7 A copy of the medical insurance card for(child).

8. A copy of the resume for any expert you intend to call as a witness at any proceeding in this matter.

9 The following documents relating to any real property currently owned by you individually or jointly with any other persons or entities:
deeds
deeds of trust or mortgages:
promisary notes an
settlement statements

10 Copies of any leases on which you are any way liable, whether in your name individually or jointly with any other person

11. Copies of any reports or writings produed by persons you expect to call as experts in this case.

12 Copies of all medical records of any type for any treatment you have recieved since Jan 1, 2005

13  Copies of all  medical and mental health records of any type for any treatment that (child) has recieved while in your care since Jan 1, 2005.

14. A copy of any credit report for you obtained or requested since jan 1, 2005.

15. A copy of (child's) report card, as well as any other reports or correspondence related to (child) recieved from school.

16. A copy of the 06-07 school calendar for the school (child) is currently attending.

17 Copies of any and all documentation of any child care expenses incurred for (child)

18 Copies of any and all documentation reflecting the current cost for medical insurance for (child).

19 Copies of your telephone records(land and mobile lines) for the time period Aug 2005- present.



*****
1. What happens If I can not provide all the requested information within the 21 day limit?

2. Is it legal to ask for this information?

3. Personal information, such as my bank account numbers, social security numbers for family members on tax returns, etc- can I black those out for security purposes? The mother has been known to steal and associate with criminals who have been incarcerated for identity theft and bad checks, etc and I do not want my or my children/wife's information to become a public free for all.

4. Can I send my own interrogatorry and ask for the same and other information, such as specific records such as social security(to prove her brain injury is what qualifies her for the ssd) or court records where her mother was granted guardianship over her because of her inability to care for herself(brain injury)?
 
4a if so, how do you word that?

5. I have a phone consult scheduled with an atty, but it's not until the time limit expires, what can I do in the meantime- without royally screwing up the case?

6. The times and dates listed on the interogatorry- are those limited by law or is her attorney specifically looking for something and limiting it to those dates?

7. If I don't know the answers, can I answer I do not have the answer for that question or unknown, not at this time, etc?  

8. Can I legally ask for her to answer questions about prior marriages- to whom(name), date of marriage, place of, date of divorce, name of current spouse or significant other(want her to state on record she is either fiance' of the drughead or lie and say she isn't with him).

9. At what point in the interogatorry can I refuse to answer and write that  this is irrelevant or is that not allowed?

10. Is there anywhere on the web that I can find information about this process, so that I can do some research done?
 
Thank you for your help. I don't want to lose my daughter because of  technicalities.

I have an ex who practices parental alienation with the best of them. As part of her effort, she obtained a Temporary Protective Order for stalking in response to my many requests to see my child, whom she was withholding from me. The judge was just disinteresting enough in the hearing to grant a 12-Month order.

Following the issuance of the 12-Month TPO, my ex filed two separate charges against me, alleging two separate violations of the order. While I faced these, she petitioned to have the 12-month order made permanent. The sole basis of her motion (and the sole evidence) was the 2 charges she had filed against me. On the same basis (explicity stated in the order), the judge made the order permanent.

In both instances of allegations, my ex lacked probably cause to bring the charge. Georgia law defines probably cause for someone to bring a charge as something that reasonable person would believe constituted a violation of the order. The dismissal constitutes a prima facie lack of probably cause, but it can be overcome. In this case, it can be shown that, although the ex had an attorney and had actually been with him just hours before she filed the charge, she failed to seek his council on the matter, perhaps even intentionally, because she was motivated more by malice than justice. In fact, the dismissal order itself incredibly includes statements made by her attorney which undermined her claims and shows that she filed the charge without his advise or approval. Due to one of her charges, I spent two weeks in jail.

Followed the issuance of the Permanent Order, both of the charges against me were dismissed in my favor.

1 - Due to the basis of both the motion and the order, namely the two charges against me, isn't it logical that the subsequent dismissal of these charges represents a substantial change in circumstances in which the material facts of the case no longer represents the required finding? And, as such, is there not solid grounds for a termination of the order on this finding?

2 - In addition to the above-stated reason, I have other concerns about the continuation of the Order. First, my ex continues to undermine the order herself by calling me, emailing me, sending me text messages, approaching me in public, and fraternizing with me. In all instances, she initiates the contact and it is unsolicited. (I am very particular not to violate the order myself.) Doesn't this, also, vitiate the order to a point beyond further justification of it? My other concern is that the repeated charges which she has brought, and which have been dropped, demonstrate a pattern of abuse of the order. Would not a judge, too, share these concerns and agree, along with #1 above, agree that the order should be terminated?

2 - Lacking probably cause on one of the charges, and having spent two weeks in jail because of her charge, is there not a good cause of action for a false imprisonment lawsuit against the ex?

3 - The order says that I am not to contact, directly or indirectly, my ex or her "immediate family". (It's a "form" order and that's all it says in regards to the matter, essentially.) How does that affect my relationship with my daughter? For the purposes of this order, am I also prohibited from contacting her? And, if so, wouldn't the fact that it is a permanent order for all intents and purposes constitute the termination of my parental rights without any hearing of fitness? Certainly such wording refers only to her OWN immediately family (parents, siblings, etc) without affecting my relationship with my daughter.

Much thanks

Soc,

I go to court next week for motion against my ex.  Daughter found a camera in the bathroom at her fathers house and we are seeking a change in visitation.  

The detective that investigated did not find evidence therefore there was nothing that they could do.  Protective services could do nothing as they did not have any evidence.  Which basically now it is my daughters word against her dads.  The counselor is on our side, the detective said that he believed my daughter but there was no evidence.  The protective servicces worker said she believes my daughter but there is no evidece.

Will be calling the detective, protective services worker and the counselor into court as witnesses.  

1)  What questions would you recommend that be asked of these witnesses?  

Soc,

IN state

Hubby changed jobs in April this year, last pay under a WH oder was 5/5.  Previous employer was court ordered to alert CSE when employee terminates employment adn who new employer is.  DH waited from 5/5 to 6/19 to see if new CS WH order came into play.  Since new job, he was on different pay periods and had to wait a month to get a paycheck and fist pay was not a full pay, waited to second pay when no WH order was in place DH resumed and paid all CS and has continued to do so to date.  BM filed 6/30 that BF failed/refused to pay CS, yet on 6/15 1 month of cs was paid in cash to clerk and she was sent a check on 6/19.  As I see it - a false filing.

Our attorney sent hers a fax 7/7 & 8/16 that stated that any lag was due to the WH oder and change in jobs etc, however the state ledger showed all as paid and current.  As of taday I am one week ahead.

There has only been one response from her attorney and that was a 6 weeks period that BM claims she was not paid.  

At no time did any payment go over $500 in arrears, and according to state there was never any failure or refusal to pay although no one will put that in writing.  In that it might make some difference, during this time frame of new job, my son had emergency surgery, we had to move and once moved BM showed up and caused a ruckus with our new apartment manager that resulted in them needing our attorney's info to perhaps file a restraining order on her for harassment of tenants on private property.

I have all receipts and paychecks to show that CS has been paid since last court order in 03 and the only lapse was the new job thing and situation noted above.  

1. Given the above situation, do you think I have anything to worry about?  

My mother called CPS on me this weekend.
I am a single mom with 4 kids, I've lived with my mom my whole life.
I have a drug problem but not in 2 years, honestly!!

This is what happened this weekend:
My oldest 2 children were at their fathers on Friday night.
I asked my mom if she could watch my younger 2 children so I could go out drinking/dancing, I am 29. She said sure, just be back home to take care of your children in the morning.
Well, I got way to drunk and didn't come home.

She called the church and had them intervene on Sunday.
She wanted me to do a drug test, go to a counselor or rehab. I told them no.

My mom then called CPS on me and they came out and talked to my oldest children on Sunday at my exs house. Then a woman comes out with a cop and they make me take a piss test, which I passed with a slight light pink mark which she said it could have been the xanax, which I haven't taken anything honestly. She brought the test out of her HOT car, stuffed the piss test in her pocket.

Then I was told by her that I needed to come in on Tuesday to take another one. I couldn't get there I have 2 kids and so now they said that's a violation of my agreement with them and that if I don't get help and work with them they will take my kids away tomorrow.

1) Can they really come get my kids from me tomorrow?
2) I haven't signed any agreements, then why are they threatening me?
3) I can't afford an attorney because I'm already on food stamps where do I get help?
4) Do I not have any rights now?
5) They have meredian calling me to schedule a detox program which I haven't done drugs lately, do I have to go for 4 months?

I live in Gilchrist County Florida.
Please help, Becca

I'm not sure where I can file for divorce and am looking for direction.

My wife and I rented an apt. in Illinois toward the end of June, but I only stayed a couple days before we split up.  Before moving to Illinois we lived in Iowa.  I still have an Iowa driver's license.

I started staying with my parents in Illinois after we split and stayed there for about 3 weeks.  I am now staying with my sister in Wisconsin, where I have been for about a week.  (It's a tri-state area)

My address has not been changed with the post office.

Am I still considered a resident of Iowa?

Where can I legally file for divorce?  

state of florida

Greetings soc
                                                                                                 about a year ago
My 2 sons were removed from me on allegations of abuse, placed with aunt on other bio/parents side of family, judge ordered them returned 3 months later.


recieved letter from child support that a hearing was held and child support ordered for me to pay almost 5000.00 to aunt. order says children were with aunt for a year.

aunt didnt appear for court according to court papers i recieved.
and other bio/parent not orered to pay support.

order says other bio/parent resides in south africa, court records show a local address.


Questions:

1.  (any party affected by this order may move to vacate this order by filing a motion to vacate within 10 (ten) days from the entry of this order) what does this mean?


2. if the aunt or i prepared a motion  to vacate for the aunt, will this stop them from from taking this money?

3. if so, and it was you how would you write  a motion to vacate.


4. is it proper for the court to except that the bio/mom live in south africa without proof from the dept of revenue?


thanks you in advance

CP opened up a mailbox (technical term for a web based email address)a few years ago and put the mailbox in the childs name.

Everything that CP writes is on behalf of our child.

e.g.

"Minor child" writes> NCP, our minor child is sick. I just figured that I would bring that to your attention.

"Minor child" writes> NCP, I think that the sky is blue.

"Minor child" writes> NCP, I think that you are wrong regarding this issue.

CP's sending email to me as if the minor child wrote it gives me the creeps, but I assume there is nothing that I can do about it.

So Soc, my question is as follows:

1) Is there anything that I can do to stop the CP from writing emails on behalf of our child?

Thanks in advance and as usual.

There was an incident last Friday when children went with NCP for the day for a birthday visit.

All was well except for the last hour and 20 minutes before their arrival home.  Younger SS called crying hysterically and hardly able to say anything at all was able to squeak out that he wnated to live with his BM.( all recorded)

Older SS refused to get on the phone but I had demanded that he did and he said without any hesitation that he also wanted to live with his BM. No sobbing or any emotion. I told them that I would see them in an hour and would not discuss their living arrangements any further with them and I would see them in an hour.

The exchange is at a police station and BM had pleaded with the cop that they stay with her and made the children (while sobbing) tell him that they wanted to live with her.  Cop said there is nothing we can do about this they must be returned to me.

Children have stated they want to see their BM but are afraid of her actions and what she might do to them and if they don't do what she says "something bad will happen there"  not sure exactly what, they haven't stated that she is violent to them or anything. Kids are 8 & 9 and I can drag them there if they refuse, but they would never would do that.

Currently BM has pre-arranged 7 weeks of summer visitation but it is not court ordered only agreed to, nothing file just agreed to.
BM has a list of mental disorders that she deals with and she is one slippery person and can wiggle her way out of just about anything by telling a lie.

The entire incident stemmed from a CPS report that they had finally just been able to contact her about, and she denied the entire thing except she lied to the worker, because they had already interviewed the children and now they can not determine who is telling the truth, her or the kids...well that is an easy one.  The children found a sex toy and believe me they did NOT know what that was until that day.  CPS assured her it was not me and it wasn't me that called I didn't even know about it until they contacted me.

She didn't believe that and took it out on the kids and told them I was trying to take them away from her etc.. etc.. and tried to convince the kids that it didn't happen and that SS was lying....the story is long.

Children start a new therapist tomorrow and have to go back for 15 days in July which if there is any way to get out of it, it would be great for the children's sanity.

Anyway my questions:

1. Is there anything I can do about her continual traumatizing of the children?

2.Is there anything to do about this or report this behavior to? ( CPS doesn't care about the incident they caused, not enough mental abuse documentation)

3. Let it go and pick our battles?

My divorce is in Minnesota.  Ex and I still live there.  The divorce states I have "liberal and reasonable" visitation.  Over the three years since the divorce we've done an every other weekend and Wednesday night schedule.  She has her schedule at work set so she works the weekends I have the kids and the other weekends off (shows that she is aware and agrees with this schedule?).  

My ex has a conflict and as a result the kids will not be home Friday when I would normally pick them up.  She is telling me they will be available to me on Saturday.  I have always picked them up at 6pm on my Friday.  This is not the first time she has cut my weekend short.  She refuses to switch weekends as a compromise.

I was told by the local P.D. they can not help me since our divorce does not specify my parenting time.

With my attorney we are working to establish my parenting time and holiday schedule through the courts but until then:

1. Am I at my ex's mercy as to when I see my kids?

2. Is there a definition of reasonable or liberal for the purpose of parenting time?

3. How is liberal and reasonable parenting time enforced if the parties don't agree?

Thank you.  

Hello again.

First let me thank you for your advice on reporting the case to the non-custodial state's Attorney General.  Texas forwarded non-custodial parent's tax refund to me.  It was a non-payment of child support issue.

Custodial Parent in AZ, non-custodial parent in TX.

Custodial Parent received custody of 2 minor children on 11/1/2004.

Custodial Parent has been very liberal with visitation, letting children go to TX during school breaks that were not mentioned in Parenting Plan.  (School district takes a 2 week break during Oct......they were in a different school district during the court proceedings--same county).

Non-custodial parent has court record of negatively influencing children.  That's how TX parent became non-custodial parent.

Non-custodial parent is having children (10 and 15) call custodial parent and say they are not coming back from visitation.  Children swear it is their idea and their non-custodial parent has nothing to do with it.

There is no defined date of when the children are to be returned to custodial parent.  Court docs says, "Children shall be with non-custodial parent  on the first half of the summer school break on even years, and the second half on odd years."  Actually (for obvious reasons) it is better for the children for non-custodial parent  to have them the 1st half of summer break--but I never corrected the Parenting Plan.

1)  Legally, is the court defined return date of the children to the custodial parent exactly half of the summer from the date she picked them up?

2)  How long do I have to wait to call Amber Alert?

3)  Should I send a letter to non-custodial parent's lawyer of my intentions (If the children are not returned to me by this date and this time, I will take legal action including calling Amber Alert?)?

4)  Should I include in the letter to non-custodial parent's lawyer that Non-custodial parent has court record of negatively influencing children and it appears to be happening during children's visitations as well.

5)  What legal actions can I take to stop or curb non-custodial parent's negative influence on our children?

Thank you in advance for your wisdom.

I live in Illinois divorce was done in Mclean Co. My daughter will be 18 this September. My child support does not end until June 1 of 2007. She is now all of a sudden getting major medical work done. I provide insurance on her as per court order. She is needing braces for some reason and when I ask ex for medical records she tells me no and when I call the doctors office they do the same. All I am told is that I have to pay half of anything the insurance does not cover. One surgery is set for Jan of 2007 then the braces, then another surgery after that. But what if this goes past the child support order to where I have to carry insurance? Please help.

Hello again Soc,

Child lives in OH with his custodial mother. I am NCP dad in MN. Court order is MN. I found out my son's medical clinic (thru the Interrogatory process) and sent them a records request letter, certified return receipt (from this website). It's been a month.

I just called the clinic, asking the status of my request for records, and the woman pulled the chart and says there is a balance due on the account. So I asked if that was for copies, and she said no, it was a balance due for services.

I then stated that I was the father who lived out of state and was trying to get copies of my son's records and had sent them a letter requesting that info a month ago.

The woman then copped an attitude with me and says "Oh, I remember this case now, the mother has primary custody, she brought in a court order that says so and it is right here in the file. We do not release records to a NCP. I told her that I have right to his records, and she said "no, OH state law says you don't and the child lives in OH."

I then told her that it was a MN court order and that the appendix (that the mother probably did not include with the copy) states that both parents are entitled to medical records. She then told me "well then you will have to send whatever court order says that or call an attorney."

It is evident that mom has alienated the medical staff against me so they don't want to cooperate.

Question.....

1. What kind of letter and copies of documentation do I send the medical clinic now?

2. Can I just fax them a copy of the court order ALONG with that appendix stating the MN statute that applies?

Facts:

Lived together approx 4.5 years PRIOR to marriage.  During the time lived together they aquired thousands of dollars or assests such as four wheelers (2 ), snow mobil2s (2),  motorbikes, riding lawn mower, cars, house, race car, motorcycle etc.. (Most were gifts from him)  Ie:  bought us BOTH four wheelers and snowmobile.  So they could enjoy them together

has an old mustang, but put it in his dad's name.

Most of if was in his name, but BOTH parties made payments etc... Canceled checks prove it..

Since he hasn't been working over the past year she has paid all bills with canceled checks to prove (before and after the marriage)

Marriage took place in Vegas on april 15 of this year, parties both reside in IL.

He was hurt on the railroad last year and is suing.  likely to get about 200,000 in the next couple of months.  

He was having an affair the entire time.  He has told wife to leave the house and that he is going to make this expensive.  Wife really has no property in her name due to bad credit, but has made payments on everything.

no prenuptial agreement

1.  Is wife entitled to anything  obtained during the course of the relationship before the marriage?

2.  What about the mustang that is in his dad's name soley to keep exs from obtaining it when it is obviously his?

3.Is wife entilted to the settlement from the railroad.  He will likely get the settlement before the divorce is finalized.

4.Can wife use the affair against him

5.  What about an annulment (if wife can't get any of the property mentioned above?) on grounds of fraud (due to the affair?)

6, wifes car is financed in his name due to bad credit.  He is threatning taking it now.  Wife has paid ALL payments husband has paid none.  Can he take the car?

I am a father who is an NCP in OHIO.

Son currently goes to a private school for Kindergarten.

Mom the residential enrolled son in Private school for Kindergarten. Mom told me a few months before Kindergarten started he was not going to the local public school but would be going to a private school for kindergarten.

Next week kindergarten ends so I went to administration and asked if son was enrolled for First grade.

The Director of Admissions said he could not revile that information.

Is that true?  He can't tell me if our son is enrolled in First grade?

Hi, I was referred here by a friend.  My husband's case is in IL.  He was never married to his twins' mother.  He has always paid CS by check bi-weekly.  They never had a formal court agreement.

1 month ago, he recieved a notice that he is to pay 147 weekly in CS and cash medical support.  This was to come out of each paycheck.  We did find out that she went through Public Aid.  My questions are as follows:

1.) How were they able to calculate a payment(which is too high based on the legal 28%) without his knowledge?

2.) He did go to a regional office in Rockford to file for a hearing for arrearages that he has paid.  What is his next step?

3.) How does he get this order modified to reflect his actual earnings if we do not even know which system to go through?

4.)  If this was done through the Dept. of Public Aid, why does he have to pay annual support service fees of $36 to the circuit clerk of McHenry County?

5.) Is there a way for us to claim this deduction on our taxes because this is a huge financial burden?

Our case is in MI

I am the custodial parent. We share legal custody. Dad has alternating weekends. There is no mention in the the order regarding dad taking child out of state.

1) Can dad take her out of state during his visitation without my consent?

Soc,

On April 27th I filed a motion because my ex refuses to tell me who my child's medical care providers is in her area.  I asked that my ex inform me who my son's Optomitrist was and who his primary care doctor was.

I had several emails and certified mail and delivery confirmation mail asking her.

Today I received the order and all it states is;

If a child is undergoing evaluation or treatment, the custodial parent shall communicate that fact to the non-custodial parent.  

Each parent shall immediately notify the other of any medical emergencies or illness of the child that requires medical attention.

If a child is taking prescription or nonprescription medication, the custodial parent shall provide the noncustodial parent with a sufficient amount of medication with instructions whenever the noncustodial parent is exercising parenting time.        

The custodial parent shall give written authorization to the child's health care providers, permitting an ongoing release of all information regarding the child's situation with the non-custodial parent.

**************************
The order reflects that the courts do not like modifying current orders but because my ex would have significant transportation it would do so.


Nothing in this order makes her inform me who the doctors are or allows me to talk with the doctor. All of what is stated is from the Indiana Parenting Time Guielines expecpt the last paragraph. Because in the Guidelines it states:


The custodial parent shall give written authorization to the child's health care providers, permitting an ongoing release of all information regarding the child to the non-custodial parent including the right of the provider to discuss the child's situation with the non-custodial parent.



What should be my next move?

How can I get this fixed as soon as possible?

Soc,

Okay, we now have a psychologist selected for the "suicidal" child (who still acts normally in my care).

Orders state that "parents shall alternate transporting child to sessions, and (dad) is to take child to the first session."

Biomom has scheduled the first session to occur during her custodial time.

She has advised in email that I can pick up child 30 minutes prior to appointment (i.e., just enough drive-time) and that she will pick up child at the appointment so child doesn't miss a birthday party (i.e., "suicidal" child is having first psych session, and biomom then takes her to an alleged b-day party that begins 30 minutes later).

It had been my hope that psychologist would be able to see child after being in each parent's care at least 2-3 hours before the sessions, and that the parent doing the transportation would likewise return child.

But, biomom always finds the loopholes in orders.  The orders state parents alternate transporting "TO" the sessions, with anyone's guess as to what the court wants with regard to transportation "FROM" the appointments.  We can assume the obvious, but orders don't state it.

I view this as an attempt for biomom to control the situation, program the child beforehand until last minute, prevent child from settling into my care, and then tell child, "I'll be waiting for you when you get out" (i.e., more pressure).

I've already suggested to the court that biomom puts pressure on child to say untrue things about me, as child as reported such to me and I unequivocably know per other people's hearsay testimony about what child says that is untrue about her experiences in my home.

1.  Is it reasonable of me to find it in child's best interest to let psychologist see child after at least 2-3 hours of time in each parent's care, to truly assess any differences (i.e., that would indicate the intent of why judge ordered that parents alternate taking child!)?

2.  Is it reasonable of me to say it can potentially confound psychologist's assessment if child knows the other parent will be picking her up immediately at end of session?

3.  Finally, my next custodial time is 2 days after the appointment biomom scheduled.  Is it reasonable of me (given that we're already 12 days after the alleged suicide threat) to suggest that if biomom can't agree to put child in my care 2-3 hours before the appt and let me transport child to b-day party (at which point biomom can meet child); then I will schedule the appt 2 days later during my own custodial time (duration of 5 hours)?

4.  Other thoughts?

Thanks,
DD

Hey Soc,
     Hope your vacation was enjoyable.  If you're willing and able to try again, mind if I start with a different tack?
     Simply put, opposing counsel was really at the bottom of a lot of troubles.  Are there ways to be such a bad taste in their mouths that they are willing to recuse themselves?
     Any input would be helpful.  You can even reach me privately at [email protected].
     Best wishes

I filed an exception to the summary of findings report generated from the Ex-Parte hearing to get custody of my child. Now the court says they need transcripts of the hearing to consider the exception. What is this about and do I have to provide them? It seems sort of crazy to have to get transcripts from the court only to provide them to the court. This in in Maryland. I don't have much time to respond so need your assistance rather quickly please.

TYVM!

Soc,


Ok, so Im not sure if you remember me, but I had the case in FL but CA actually had juris.. we were going through dismissal to have case heard in CA,, well case was dismissed in FL. I sent bm a letter (certified) stating my intentions of having our daughter over summer I told her to respond by the 22nd (gave her almost 2 weeks)

I received an email from her yesterday stating she would send daughter, however I must sign a formal agreement with all these restrictions about visitation, conversations etc.

I planned on filing a Temp order and OSC on monday since I wasnt sure if bm would respond,   as of right now, there is no custody determination made.. at all.. I have all documents filled out and ready. I emailed bm asking her if I dont sign formal document will she send daughter, Im sure she'll say NO.. so I need your advice

1 Do I file temp order for summer contact?
2 Do I attach her email to declaration showing she is attempting to coerce me to sign agreement?
3. Do I sign agreement, then file once child is here Since signature was coerced?
4. What would you do??

oh.. and .. thank you very much..

We're in Ohio.

My exgf gave me custody in '02. We agreed to no CS and she said she'd give me money on her own, which she didn't. I filed for CS in early '03. The case is handled in juvenile court as part of the custody case.

A couple of contempt hearings later, they found her in contempt and gave her a month in jail, suspended, provided she start paying that month. Two weeks later they ordered her to a job find program. She started a job but didn't tell them. They caught up with her, she quit (always claiming illness).

Last spring she got a job and had her wages garnished 3 weeks before she quit again. Those were the only payments ever.

Last fall there was to be a hearing, she called in saying she had no way to get to court, but she was working so the asst. pros. atty. told me to let them know if payments stopped. I never got one cause she quit within the week.

Six weeks ago we went back to court to enforce the original jail sentence because of non payment and non notification of job status. She was given the address of the public defender, which I don't think she even applied for, as her husband makes too much money, and told to come back in 45 days. She was supposedly getting her medical records.

She told my mom a couple weeks later she had an atty but I don't know if it was true.

She told my gf last week that she was going to ask for a continuance so she could get an atty. She has had 6 weeks to do that. Hearing is this Thursday.

1. I know you don't read tea leaves, but do you think she'll get one? Hasn't she had adequate time to find a lawyer?

Hi Soc,

I'll soon be filing an OSC to modify visitation, leaving joint/joint custody the same.

I apologize in advance for what will be lengthy, but I want to give you all you may need.

Background to refresh you...

In 2001, I was fighting false DV shortly after mom filed for sole and concurrently moved 400 miles away.  I went 4 months seeing child 8 hours per month.  First temporary orders changed that to approx 25/75, though mom had upper hand from get-go.

Court ordered 730 eval in 2003.

730 evaluator recommended (after a 7 month investigation) that parents shift to a 5-2-2-5 (50/50) schedule in summer of 2006.  The evaluator's report came out in 2004.

At urging of the judge, parties settled at time of trial (2004) essentially for all of evaluator's immediate recommendations, no move-away (mom attempted).  At that time, it bumped up to a 35/65 schedule (mom still has had majority).  Settlement didn't address any future modifications.

We left the custody ruling to the judge.  Mom wanted sole.  Judge ruled joint/joint.  Mom wanted primary caretaker.  Judge ruled joint/joint, period.

This was final judgment, btw.

Since then, we've had several hearings, mine mostly just trying to find a way to get mom to behave.  I technically lost a contempt motion (though judge said he wasn't impressed with mom's actions), I won imputing mom's income at $3750/month for downward CS modification, judge asked parties to settle on order clarification (mom settled for my request for relief), I lost school motion (judge said mom can pick school and mom can pay 100% of school), and judge ruled against another order clarification (several issues were on one hearing date).  My most recent action was May 2005.

In May 2005, judge ordered us to complete the court's "you're a bad parent" class.

In June 2005, mom lost motion for sole custody and lost motion to eliminate overnights in my home.  A few months prior, she lost motion to strip away my birthday weekend with child.  In June 2005, judge voiced his displeasure with mom and her attorney due to absolutely no merit.

Per your advice at the time, I drew up orders stating that judge reviewed evidence and found that there was no change of circumstance to warrant changing custody (i.e., protecting the evaluator's recommendation for the future, since nothing has changed).  They got entered.

Okay, since then... I've intentionally ignored all of mom's antics, other than documenting them.  Without me responding, her attempts to engage largely died down in the past six months.

Moving forward... here's my "best interest" case for 50/50 (5-2-2-5):

A) 6 year old daughter has private bedroom in my home, as she always has had.  Mom continues to live in what evaluator called a "very tiny" one-bedroom apartment, and they sleep together.

B) My wife has been in daughter's life for 4.5 years, noted as well-bonded by the evaluator.  We'll be having a child in a couple months.  Moving to 50/50 will help ensure that daughter has opportunity to grow and bond with her only sibling.  Daughter is excited to be the helper.

C) 730 evaluator spent seven months with us and reported that it is in child's best interest to go to a 5-2-2-5 schedule summer of 2006.  He found that mom was the only one with abnormal psychological issues (in paranoia, handing conflict, and blaming others for her own difficulties).

D) Mom still refuses to work.  State has codified its expectations that a parent will support his/her child to his/her capacity, and I can't do it alone.  Me having more time with child will give mother greater opportunity to work.

E) Per email history, Mom has refused my requests for any extra time with child while family members were visiting (all my family is out of state).  Mom villified all of my family in past deposition (and I even had to get ex parte orders in 2003 to leave the state with child to visit family during my vacation).  Having 50/50 ensures that child has high access to both sides of her family.

F) Per email history in fall 2005, Mom and I agreed on modifying the weekday schedule to better match child's afterschool needs.  When mom did the math and apparently realized it put child in my home an additional 6 hours per month, she then demanded I give up two overnights per month; stating that she'd only modify the schedule if it reduces child's overnights in my home.  We therefore stuck with the old schedule, though we had previously agreed the weekday changes would be better for child.

G) I have high job flexibility and can ensure I'm able to care for child on a 5-2-2-5 schedule.  Mom has admitted (under oath) previously that she cycles through many babysitters per year.

I) For all of mom's complaints about child's welfare in my home, she has never produced an expert, teacher, doctor, or any objective witness to say child does poorly with me.  In her 2005 declarations, she states that child is afraid to express her feelings, but mom is able to conclude what child really feels.  Seriously.

J) I have witness testimony out the wazoo as to child's comfort and happiness in my care.

K) I've never missed child support.  I've never balked at paying medical expenses.  With notice to mother (and her refusal to do make-up), I've missed three exchanges in two years, once due to business travel, once due to car trouble, and once due to my grandmother dying out of state and attending her funeral.

L) In deposition, mom acknowledged that I may have read more about parenting and child development, but I'll never have the instincts that she has.

M) In deposition, mom stated I'm unfit but the only example of being unfit (when prompted) she could identify is when I refused to answer her in front of child as to why I was 5 minutes late for an exchange during rush hour traffic.  When asked, she couldn't find a single positive trait about me.  She stated that I have no problems with drugs or alcohol.  She stated that I'm not abusive towards daughter.

N) Child has been with me up to two weeks at a time, for vacation time.

O) Maybe nitpicking.  Child has had 12 cavities so far.  The first half were due to late nursing (nursed until age 4), and most recently the dentist said poor brushing habits.  I have no cavities, and I can supervise better brushing if child is with me half the time.

P) And, intentionally on my part, mom cannot show any significant conflict between parents from June 2005 to now.  We've been parallel parenting pretty well, given previous disagreements.


1.  Am I correct in assuming this motion is only a "best interest" argument, given that it's a parenting plan adjustment, and not a custody change?

2.  If I lay out the above, do you believe it's a strong "best interest" position to follow evaluator's recommendation?

3.  Realistically, is burden on mother to defeat the evaluator's long-term recommendation?

4.  Do I need to simultaneously file a motion to unseal the evaluator's report, so the court can review it, or would the court do it upon it's own motion?

Thanks!  Nearing the homestretch, regardless of its outcome!

DD