Topics

I am wondering if anyone has any dealings with RAD? I am beginning to believe that the boys may be starting to show some signs of it as they get older. Not saying they haven't bonded with me or my husband, but they are showing some signs of this disorder.

I am filing for a CPO in the morning but have  no clue what to expect with the process.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated

HI all its me again. 


Well the sh** hit the fan tonight and I am heading to the courts in the morning for a protection order against mom, and her boyfriend/husband not sure what ya call him. 


The Question I have is this .. if a custody order was issued in Virginia , but child support was awarded in current state of Ohio and the courts according to the order make this statement in the order does this mean that Ohio has taken jurisdiction of the custody order also or is it just support order that they have jurisdiction on?

"That the court retains jurisdiction over this case according to law."

They have recognized the custody order from Sept 6 2006 according to the documents that I have and states in the support order and says:" moved the court modify the effective start date of the child support set forth in the instant Administrative Order to that date on which this court placed the children in her custody September , 2006

Can these statements be taken that Ohio has already accepted jurisdiction over this case?

HI all been a while ...
For those that don't know me or my situation quick rehash.

My husband I have custody of our 2 nephews ages 7 and 9.  We have had them with us since Feb 19 of 06 and court custody since Sept 06.  Mom has not been around much for these kids in the past 3 years even by phone.  She has done jail time for embezzlement and 3 unsuccessful attempts at alcohol rehab.  In the past 3 years they have seen her 7 times ... with us providing most of the transportation for them.  She has self worth and value issues .. and seems to like to live with men that are abusers and or losers. Has been hospitalized 5 times in the past 3 years due to this abuse.. including bleeding on the brain.  Our CO is permanent custody with her having liberal visitations and access to medical and school records.

The last visit in June was a joke .. she had just been beat up the week before and had her knee in a big brace.  It had started off pretty decent but by the end of the day we had figured out that she had been drinking due to her major attitude change towards myself and my husband. Once we figured out that she had been drinking we would not allow the boys to be with her alone.  (After the fact we found out that she had drank 3 bottles of liquor during that time frame). 

She is very famous for going around the adults with the boys try and get what she wants.  Ie. For spring break she talk to the boys about coming to see her, went to the brother-in-law about us staying there . yet no communication with the adults here about the visit.  Needless to say the visit didn't happen. 

During this time she told the boys she was getting them a cell phone. but it was supposed to be a secret.  We were in her area for 4 days yet she chose to only spend that one day with them. Calling again the my husband's brother several time yet not calling us, trying to get contact with them.  She has both of our cell phone numbers and has called them both several times.   


So now the phone has been sent and we are completely against them having it for several reasons:
1. Their age.. they are far from responsible enough for it.
2.  This again now gives her another venue to go around us as the adults in charge to make plans with the kids with out our knowledge.
3.  We speak to her first when she makes calls to them to ensure that she is sober and that they are not talking to a crying drunk.
4.  This also allows her to put whom ever she wants on the phone to speak to them with out our knowledge.  We do not want the abusive husband or boyfriends having any contact with the boys..

We are currently in the process of having the CO registered in our current state, and then working on changing the visitation to make it supervised visits with drug and alcohol testing done prior to visits and for her to have to come to our state at her expense for visits.


So now that I have been long winded about this my questions is:  What can I do about this stupid cell phone?

    Haven t posted much as BM has been out of the picture for the most part in the past 8 months or so and life has been very quiet. Now however she is not longer in jail and starting her bs again. I am in the process of getting our custody orders registered in Ohio as they are originally ordered in Virignia and none of the parties involved live there now.
    I have successfully gotten a child support order recognized in New Jersey against that father and have finally started getting payment of that from him( or should I say his mother). Now comes the fun part, the original orders are for liberal visitation and not specific at all.
    We are wanting to make them supervised  so that she can be drug tested and alcohol tested before the visits. Also for her to have to come to ohio for visitation, also to specify times for phone calls, she has had very limited time or calls from her part but we are wanting to make the specifications so that  we can document her lack of participation so that we may eventually terminate her parental rights and looking to eventually adopt the boys.
   The boys have been with us for over 3 years now and in Sept the custody order will be 3 years old.  We had them 6 months prior to this before the custody was awarded.These little guys need to know that someone out there is fighting for them. 
   We just had a visit this past weekend where mom had the opportunity to spend 3 days with her boys but chose to spend 7 hours with them and preferred to spend it with the abusive boyfriend over them and so  that she could drink.  Our stipulations are no boyfriends and no alcoholic  during a visit. When we found out that she was drinking during the visit we took the boys out of the situation for the evening and figured we would try again in the morning after she sobered up.  She made her choices and now trying to give us major grief.  All we are trying to do is to protect them as she is an aggressive nasty person when drinking.

So I guess bottom line I am asking if anyone here knows how Ohio is when it comes to changing visitation to supervised and how far do the courts here take "the best interest of the child"

My husband and I have had our nephews living with us soon to be 3 yearsin feb.  We have had court custody of them since Sept 2006.  The boyscame to us due to mother having major legal issues and alcohol issues,being homeless and many other issues.  The father is unemployed and hasbeen for many years and lives with his mother.  These little guys werevery neglected in many ways from being sick, dirty, and needing dentalcare.  The youngest one had 4 cavities in his front 4 teeth, withactual holes through the 2 front teeth.  They had been living in dogfilth, with more food in the house for the animals than for them.  Withthis you can probably get the picture of how they were when theyarrived on my door step.

We have taken these children in like our own, and given them the stability that they deserve and are thriving very well now.

Mom has now decided that when she finishes with her incarceration that she will be attempting to take custody back. 

Issues that have arisen over the past 3 years since the boys have been living with us include:

1. Mother living with an abusive boyfriends.  Showing up at familygatherings with swollen faces, broken ankles, broken arms, In icu withbrain bleed from being in fights. From statements made from otherfamily members she is supposedly married to the latest abuser. 

2. Mother has made no attempt in the past 3 years that the boys were withus to establish any type of employement or betterment for herself.  Iunderstand she had the impending incarceration, however it took over 3years for them to get to that point in her legal issues and she livedoff everyone else. 

3.  3 attempts as sobriety that havefailed, sure she is dry now she has been in jail for 5 months.  Butthere is alot more to sobriety than being in a forced situation whereyou cant drink. 

4.  She has made threats to me concerning shewill take care of me when she gets out and that all I am doing is brain washing her children.  When in reality I have given up my careerfor her children to raise them and be here for them. 

There is more but this is enough to give you the basics of what is going with her.

Afterwe were given custody in Virginia we moved to ohio to be closer tofamily, and have been in ohio now for over 2 years.   Our custody orderis for full custody with mom having visitation.  Which in the past 21/2 years before her incarceration she visited with them 3 times.. andnone of these visits were when she was sober. 

Now the questions..

1.  How do you go about getting the venue of the custody moved to the current state?

2. Do I sit and do the wait and see what she is actually going to dobefore I throw my money at an attorney, keeping my papers all togetherand let her make the first move with this, knowing full well that shehas no money for all these things..

I am just trying toprotect these little guys.  The deserve a stable and home..The fatheris incabable of taking them as he supposedly is a bi-polar manicdepresent.  But this has never been diagnosed.

The ultimatesituation for these boys would be back with their mom, if she couldpull it together and give them a healthy, safe and nurturing  environmentto grow up in, but until we are sure that is what she has set up forthem we will fight for these little guys to keep them safe. 

Iknow that this forum is for parents, but it is also for the kids, andthat is why I am asking here for suggestions on how to deal with ths.